THE PASSING SHOW.

Auckland Star, Volume LIX, Issue 249, 20 October 1928, Page 8

THE PASSING SHOW.

(By THE MAN ABOUT TOWN.)

The presence of an eminent forester from India inspires wonder that despite its population of three hundred million people India is

not denude! of trees. OVERCOATS FOR Once upon a time it was COWS. common there, as it is

here, to burn good timber country and to use the burnt ground for crops. But for stringent regulations India might have been as idiotic as New Zealand, where it has been common to burn so drastically as to leave not even a tree for shade. It is the Indian custom to replace every teak tree felled by five saplings to ensure continuity of supply. An excellent plan in some parts of Europe is "a third of the farm in trees." Up the line a little way the other day M.A.T. came across a farming patch much of which has been washed bare to the yellow clay because the trees have been felled. But at the southern end of this small farm there was still a small belt, extremely useful as shelter for stock or crops. The owner was engaged in cutting and burning this last vestige of bush, hoping, no doubt, to get the rest of his soil washed into the nearest gully. When it is all gone hell buy overcoats for the cows.

PERSONALITY OF THE WEEK.

Major-General Simon Joseph Fraser, 14th Baron Lovat, K.C.M.G., C.8., C.V.0., D.5.0., K.T., A.D.C., is the gigantic and amiable nobleman whom the price of LORD LOVAT. houses in New ■ Zealand fills with horror. The eminent British statesman knows something about houses as he owns 181,000 acres. He was at the beginning of his army career a lieutenant in the Ist Life Guards, and afterwards major in the volunteer battalion Queen's Own Cameron Highlanders. Lord Lovat raised a remarkably efficient mounted rifle regiment (Lovat's Scouts) and commanded it in the South African War, and afterwards raised two Imperial yeomanry regiments. The distinguished soldier, diplomat and Minister of the Crown served also in Gallipoli, France Flanders. His seat is Beaufort Castle, Beaulv. Scotland. Dear MAT, —I was agreeably interested in your seasoned remarks about "Ins and Outs." It needs much of such common-sense straight

hitting to steady the poliHAND IN HAND, tical multitude. What a

pity there is not more solid help in place of high-flown advice to those who have charge of our country's destiny. In my opinion, from Vogel to Coates all have, humanly speaking, done their bit to mould the affairs of State. Why not put our shoulders to the wheel or grease the political machinery instead of pulling back or putting sand in the machinery? It is easy to find fault, and sometimes to destroy, but to build 'needs character and noble effort. Many this time for your spicy and constructive advice, though it be covered by a smile. May common sense prevail and the country's progress be speeded.—A Word in Season.

Word comes per cable that a Home parrot on exhibition pecked a diamantiferous bauble from a passing lady's dress, swallowing it. ___ . If emetics and persuasion ONE SWALLOW, generally are unavailaing in the reproduction of this bauble the bird must die. Instantly the fact was known, persons of a George Washington tendency hurtled towards MAT., exuding stories of swallowing. One man in his youth had imbibed & twelve-inch length of steel chain, much to the perspiration of the family doctor. The mere swallowing of artificial dentures seems to be common to M-A.T.'s colleagues, and none dare say how they were retrieved. Another man insisted on recapitulating the Adamic jest of the sixpence. "Oh George!" wailed the fond mother. "Baby's swallowed a sixpence. Run for the doctor!" "I'm going for the captain of the Salvation Army!" he yelled, seizing his hat. "The Armv can get money out of anybody!" Parrots are not the only birds which aid digestion with foreign substances. Ostriches, emus and the public swallow bricks, buttons and candidates' promises. After an exorbitant meal the ostrich tops off with a dessert of pebbles. And the human bird, who is the prototype of the ostrich, shrieking at the politician for bread, is given a stone.

Owl writes: Making my way home in the wee hours I was surprised the other morning to see the policemen on night patrol duty A POT ifFMA wc r iug * U P p !i ed with hot A POLICEMAN S tea or coffee on their LOT. beat. I think a verse or two in vour own inimitable "Gilbertian" style would not be amiss. When burt? Jump!ns on bl ° k * Who is armed with jemmy, gun or little bar He the pleeceman's tea a-gurgle, yes, Or toe coffee flowing gently from afar. setting! setting, yes ' And Mr. Sikea is out upon the spree. He of "cops" sitting down outside A-eating of their cakes and drinking tea. CHAOTICS. The tough, one is: Oatsiphopump Hippopotamus. And at this time of political endeavour the epidermia of aspirants is often i Taneeenlikp.