IN MERRIER MOOD

Auckland Star, Volume LIX, Issue 249, 20 October 1928, Page 2 (Supplement)

IN MERRIER MOOD

The prise this week cms to P. H. Halverso a, 169, Moot Albert Head, Mount SoddD, far: THE ALARMIST. Henare was the proud possessor of a beautiful Chest Due. One day a young lady complimented the Maori on bis bound. 2 "He's a darting!" sbe said. "Him te fine dog, awri," agreed Henare. "WUi* he catch nttf inquired the lady. "Werra," said Henare, jodkhlly, "I dnsno boot rets, but him gif to moose « heuaoa fright!" VIIPL : t "Came and sen my ear; its unique," ««» Janes. I went. I must admit it grmnil to me s perfectly ordinary fourseater. "What is there unique about it?" I asked Jones. "It's paid for." . IMPBEBBXHG THE JUST. A young barrister, taking his ink had retained by a farmer to prosecute a railway company for kfflny 24 pigS. He wasted to impress the jury with (be magnitude of the injury. Twentyfoar pise* gentlemen. Twenty-four— twiee the number in the jury box." an wait. • A iioiiinrms fjrh mss, who hdieved in 'having everything v "just' so," was showing Us aunihefsl library to a 'genuine book-lover. "They are my friends!" exclaimed the wealthy one* nsving his hand towards his^hoofak'

"Ah," replied the other, examining a volume from a shelf, "I see you never 'cut* jot friwdnV rz/»

WHERE THE MOHEY WBHT.

< Georfie leUiined km late ok Wfcy night. »jLit ■ "Cum on, ye gud-for-nowt," cried his better half, "vhtot'i tot my!". " "'Sorry, LJx," was the tepJy, "l*t n*n lost ms pay. It mustha' dipped, through a hole in me pocket." ' through a hole In yor pocket," lix exclaimed. "By the looks on ye, ifs slipped through aMt in yor £aee!/ r . the pown or a inn. This is a story from Kenya. X man wooded a lkm, vkid turned to attad him, threw him to the ground and im shout to administer the coop de gram idea it happened to look inside its victim's eollmr. Immediately the anqid pot ita tail betireen its legs and bounded off into the bosh.

■The hunte&srcindering at his esfcape, loakcdat flp .collar of lus ooSit. . ~ . His name yas inscribed there jn large 'letters. It was .Daniel. r~' -

: YOU HKVKK CAS TELL. ; I She '«ii * pretty little thing, shortskirted, pink cheeked ud bob-haired. . - Am she tripped lightly down the stairs leading from the station, many admiring glances were levelled in her direction. I:-a ••• ' . , "Seme chicken!" exrtahaed one youth to his pal, as they trailed in her wake, i ."Wonder who the lucky chap is she's going> to meet!" - v Asthe lovely hit of feminity emerged to® the station a . handsome, hroadshooldered man, folly six feet *>11, claapod her in Ida arms and kissed her. *• «*«lMaed fondly, "I thought rd missed you!" A FOWT. AFFAIR. The reckless motorist swerved and killed a fowl -which darted aerosa the road. An old w "—bb who lived in a cottage-near by was quickly on ti*» scene face waa stern, her features hard •ri forbidding. Befoce she could utter a word the motorist plunged a hand in his pocket and tendered her a pound note. . _ • "Here, my . good woman," he will, •apologetically, "this will stmare matters.".. •... B The sour face softened. I good °* she said. "Now 1 ■hau he able to start keeping fowls myself." . . '

HO TDIK TO WASTE.

j A guest in S certain hotel had been shot. The negro porter who heard the shooting was a witnejs at the triaL ! Tfow nuny shots did you heir!" asked the lawyer. "Two shots, sah," he replied. •Bow far apart were they?" | "About like this," said the negro, clapping his hands, with the-interval'of a few minutes between the claps. "Where were you when the first shot was fired ?"

"Shinin' a geri*man's shoe in the basemoat of the hotel."

"And where were you when the second shot was fired?"

"Ah was passing de towu hall, a quarter of a mile from the hotel, ssh."

PnM Far the fcot anecdote sent in —«■!) _ - «"• Fif» Shffljng. will be .JOT preference will be given to local rtorW n.. # «*•• need not be original, bat in al V XJCSI sousce from which taken ahonld he «?* Story •% WCWed at this office by the Mniwhij' peblkstion 1 The envelopes containing be eodeceed with the words "Anecdote** in the |m UlZj i in—i, »■! i JJ J Editor, "The rtTirHiral^ii'Sff'j

■ m ■■ m • "Mother, is it hair-efl ■ ■"Mercy, no! Tbafs J . .that's why I cant gek^^lg|!^^\ "Our dehxsMHJß ars tin SWsslmtAfc-. & m life.' "How about the he can singF* - " take up something!" 'Tbe"2sL**i takes up other people'. tfcss.l - "Maud west to ii g 1 ' out when was ned." "What did'ha.thE'rif^ :^s^W: took one look at her-gig ■■ grab the first dunce." ? \~7 They met outside thePfe and cach waited fnftfirty other's invitation. *Wtf" last, "what are we griw to i drop of rain!" ; Tourist: "What ; you here?" Native: Qm sat? v - man if he was pnt an m island he'd stick his hails fcitomSdfc what they havaftgotV***''•""and r lbs.'Jones: I ami. 'lbs. down the street, ami ska hifmZ & yon told her the news I tall jsn |fi| tell because Mrs. mise not to tell it hta it to me. ll* Ssulhs IBfcSSpS Doogal told me she weaitttt*a^ that I ted told hsc.'' ] told her I wouldattefl jes AebatteH ma you told her. -

Marie: "Rote had, a —a'awsfcdlhc ': annoying her on the iliuthdd^. - Jet .Hat '-1 Bund Motorist: I want ssmt jjpjpc-o: Salesman:' Balloon tyms? -" " ~ - : Bural Motorist: So, ljl» - motor. Tfoahis la 1 Tm buvimr a washisK bmUmlkS wife as a birthday jnspt. That will he a aofriHfc Yea, quite! SU» »Xfotitg S*^ ; . - - • •. *» Jg-pfv : Sfjpt Lady of the How (gMSga*"** ball): No, really, Hedg% aai Fm getting danced out. * g Hedge (galfamtly): Not dnprM _ madam; Just a bit phMp.; * /_->> "What did UndfiraHse ? yotf gave him the WaafiedmsMf . sect to cheer his asiihiwy : . "■> "He said he wss afraid hs,*** strong enough to est. a« appreciated the spirit ia -hh* mittee and- stated - thstAs"*® ing her "etemit^*JbaMdt. chairman. ' * * — "My 'eternity* 11 ■ "Yes,,sir; that's ; who'* : Husband (going £ -J, holidays) ' The 1 - mind the cat, urft"®V» - ~~ Wife: Yes. . .. - - - —-" Husband: And the BrewsssW care of Fido and tie f *• Wife: Yes, thSfls Husband: And hsly * Se> ■ what short a three weeks at home? ... "j"."* i/~