THE NOT-SO-CANNY SCOT.

Auckland Star, Volume LIX, Issue 177, 28 July 1928, Page 8

THE NOT-SO-CANNY SCOT.

A<-«-« >c< i 111 ir t.» Mil _\ nieriean writer who has ' r -' l 'j'l 1,1 :l !-tii<ly «i the Scot, the Tories l!!> ' nature are part „f a deep-laid ; hivi'iitm-: of he >avs Lave ; ' , ; >u-I\ liy the di.-covery that it pavs 1v t • l " , b,lt il W "' l them an l.i.ii-hearted. To anyone living i„ tie tumidly polite hut slightly insipid social t ;:T r.r V"" 1,,n f,,r n,, - v ]^th ° f « i »mst st,rejy make him fed he has been transplanted hack to the broad, open . u I,Ml ' hospitality is a t a premium, each l \uil: to outdo his neighbour in friendliness. erhaps it is golf which makes these Scots soca hie-many depose that it is. Up there etiquette, rather than pood putting and heavv duung, is the criterion by which a golfer is Jiuljret.. he continues. An Englishman" who is extieinely popular m his own countrv, when defeated at l'resiwick this year, brought. enthusiasm among the dour gallery for the" first time ill. tho tournament because he had been beaten he'' JMst an ordinary "gillie-' was asked whv the Scots were happy, the ex-champion had been shut out so early he replied. -He's no a centle- . . nrthern,ore. that "gillie" was right when judged b\ ligid standards of golf etiquette. I hat golt is Scotland's national game just a- truly as baseball is America's must be Toncede.'. l,iere are villages of ,800 population having tour eighteen-hole courses in close proximity. <»ne is tor women only, one each for the threo classes of society—working class, middle class and aristocracy. Kach class has its code ot golfing etiquette, the niu*t risid and most adhered to being that of. the so-called artisans. 'J liese Scot.-h jokes which alwavs brim-- a laugh even when told north of the' Tweed—are really part of a. "weel-laid" plan to continue the Scotsman's "rule of the English for their ain guid. it was explained, hi order to keen the ess temperamental English impressed with Celtic ability to keep a firm hold on the national and imperial purse strings, these witticisms indirectlv djaving attention to (Jaolic economv are continually being thought up while midiiight oil is burning and broadcast, even In radio, all over the Biitish Empire. Through the perfection of tile beam system of wireless telegraphv. however, the wise cracks are shot iu the direction of any part of the commonwealth which displays incipient signs ot revolt against golf, whisky or economv.

Whenever a stranger enters a town evervone bends his best, efforts towards impressing him with Scottish caution. Seeing a pennv postage stamp reposing serenely on the floor of the village post office, an American picked it tip and returned it to the postmaster. "\e air no a Scotsman.'" challenged the P.M.. going 011 to explain that the American had done an un-Scottish act in returning lost property. Of course, he didn't really mean it, but it was part of the conspiracy to continue the rule, since, it was thought that the American was English. He went mi to explain that at least three Scots would claim that stamp before the dav was over.

Advertising undoubtedly had its origin in the land of heather. It began, it is alleged, with the wars between the Scots and the Picts, when a small wooden cross—the X-shaped c-koss of St. Andrew was dipped in blood (later, when the Scots felt they couldn't spare the blood, red paint) and sent about the country as a rallying signal for battie. After the English had quered the Scots in war. the Scots turned around and defeated the English by advertising. Keeping up this insidious propaganda which brings a laugh, but makes the Scots laugh last (up their sleeves), they have come to rule—benevolently. In the words of Bobby Burns: "Ashes to ashes and dust to dust; if the golf doesn't get vou, our whisky must."