Random shots

Auckland Star, Volume LIX, Issue 177, 28 July 1928, Page 2 (Supplement)

Random shots

uwss

Will bookmakers be allowed to marry? I wish to direct the attention of historians to the fact that Chang Tso-lin tho Manehuria.ll dictator, is still dead. Our Japanese visitors, it seems, arc to be given no food at the civic reception. Nevertheless they will have food for reflection. "Nearly twenty inches of rain has fallen in Waihi in four days." Waihi is part of the no-license district which went "wet" again at the last referendum. Its citizens have a sense of the fitness of things. At the time of writing I don't know who won the championship fight, but I do know that Heeney is to receive £20,000 even if he loses. For that sum I myself should find no difficulty in taking mv beating like a man. The Mayor of Masterton suggests that tho inter-provincial Rugby trophy, the Ilanfurly Shield, be dropped overboard. It might then become the trophy for the water polo championship. But if his V,'orship^thinks there is no rouprh play in water polo he has a lot to learn. The legal costs in a divorce suit in London amounted to £50,000—and then the petitioner failed. Poor folk, probably, could have their divorce suits heard for £.30. But lawyers are always willing to adapt themselves to circumstances, especially comfortable circumstances. Recent litigation in Auckland over silk stockings led to the appearance of "a bevy of beauties who occupied a position so that their legs from ankle to knee, covered in silk stockings, were in full view of Mr. Hunt." The magistrate might well have imagined he was going home in a tram. The lion. secretary of the Northern Boxing Association notified competitors before the annual tournament to present themselves lor a medical examination— "otherwise they may be struck out." Perhaps familiarity with boxers breeds contempt, but it certainly seemed to me that the secretary was rash in his use of language.

An English psychologist said in Auek- ! land the other day that the colour of red ' was a stimulant, "and between 5000 and \ 10,000 psychologists in England to-day j wore red flannel." I wonder when the ! count was made. Perhaps the red ilannels 1 were counted at some great assembly of psychologist?. It must have barn a noble i sight. '"Horace E. Edmondson, clerk at —. 1 said that from May 10 to June 20 the payments for working on the wharf , were £4 IS/4, £<« 17/8, £4 7/8, £1 8/-'!, £1 5/2, £11111. He also drew! £•'{ 3/ from the firm pr'or to thi-." ■ These amounts total £11,129 17/1 for, the six week-' wharf work. Even the ; odd £12!) J7/1 would satisfy some of' Us. The technical language of the dancing : master always has a quaint turn. The! newest dances, the "Sugar Walk." in- : eluding the "Sugar Stick" and "Sugar! Rock/' has been fully described and i-' said to be very sweet. It begins with: the man stepping forward o:i his right foot, to the right, "taking his rii;ht liin with him. Now, I ; i-k you, how c<>uld he do otherwise? It is on this bin, too, that a flask is sometimes carried! : Then he "brings" his left foot up with a dragging movement, brushing it past 1 the right, at the same time skating over! to tne left, together with the left Lip. i The two hips having apparently parted j company, he now "drag, his right foot up, brushes it past liU left, and skates) over to the right, hip included (two; beats)." Well, this dragging and brush- ! ing reminds one of spring-cleaning, and,, anyhow, sounds ;i lot to do in two' beats —one io>- tlie carpet and one fori the rug? The instructions continue: —

"He can carry on iik<- this as long as lie likes (as no partner is mentioned sin' is presumably watching from a distance i his hip-splitting efforts), "but the more 1 expert he becomes the more he will varv | the movement with locks." Many of ] us would do that for him if lie looks, as 1 imagine lie does. To continue, "the! leg that is being dragged up from | Iwhind (his own. let us hope) should j be bent inwards at the knee to make the: whole effect graceful." Well, it is pus-: sible, for a baby with his toe in his j mouth can be not ungraceful. "The \ great tiling to acquire is a subtle con-j trol over hips and knees." With one hip going northwards and the other j southwards "subtle control" is exactly j the expression to u-e. "A good tempo for this dance is thirty-eight bars to j the minute." and then one bar for thirty-! eight minutes, if it is not too far down the street.

"THE FOOLS' PARADISE." — ! There were only one or two jobs now.) said Sir Apirana. To Xgata in the House i of Representatives tin?, week —be would! not call them professions—Tom, Dick, \ and Harry could enter without qualifying | by examination. One was politics. "Thev! reckon," be said, "that any fool can tret ■ into politics. "No, was the reply from ' several members. "Well, some do,"! remarked Sir Apirana. Wliat shall we do with ..ur r dunno:! It worries folks wiser than I. But father-; and mothers must give it a "so,"' j For family living is liicli. To help The exchequer ;i ••|Missie's M rhe^\t<?cpa. Of youths who are fourteen or more. The trouble is which is the entry to riches,! And where can he open the door. ! A boy who rnn handle a chisel and saw All right! He is due for a trade: 1 Supposing lies full of assurance and jaw— ! A talented rule should he played As something official, aesthetic. judicial. ! The eliurch or the stage or the bar. No matter whatever he dors, it" he's clever There's always a chance for a star. i A kid who will barter his "alleys" and tops,' Is sure of a business career: The youngster who plays with vour watch ' till it stops— " j Say a doctor, or engineer. But if while he s youthful, he is—ahem — i truthful, ; Well, what about earning a crust At daily reporting such topics as sporting— But never do so till you must. The pugilist, farmer, musician—he's right, So s he who is fond ox ihe sea. But what shall we do if the laddie's not bright. _Or the fool ~f the family? Vou needn't get "breezy'"— there's nothing I more easy! , If he is deficient in "nnuse.'' Take note to remember this coming l November I And see who gets into the House. j —E. A. '