Random shots

Auckland Star, Volume LIX, Issue 171, 21 July 1928, Page 2 (Supplement)

Random shots

BY ZAMILEI

Some write a neighbour's naxne to lash e Some write — vain thought — for needful cash, < Some write to please the country clash , And raise a din; For me, an aim I never fash, I write for fun. t ! ~ " The Nobili-ty of tho Italia's comrnan- " der seems to be somewhat in doubt. j It is time big-game shooting—or tin- > hare racing—was introduced in Mexico. The odds against Presidents are too - great altogether. , I gather that the only thing needed to , make Broadway (Newmarket) the ~ superior of its New York rival is that t the trams shall stop in the right places. s Two men in Palmerston North adopted 3 as their business name Bernard Lowj batchewsky, M.A.N.A. (Member of the i Australian Naturopaths' Association), j Since their conviction their mana has , disappeared. The following mixed metaphor is ? credited to a member of the Thames • Hospital Board: "When I saw the fowls 1I in mud up to their fetlocks 1 j Even the tail-feathers of the bullocks, it. | ! ayears. were dirtied. '• j . j j "If T were commissioned to reform . humanity," says an Auckland suburban , councillor, "I would first sweep everv cabaret otf the face of the earth." ~I presume that the world would then be 2 safe for progressive ctic-hre. r "T>r. Ralph Vaugh an Williams, :he y prominent British composer, has writf ten a full-length opera having Shake- . speare's Falstaff as the central charae- - ter." I imagine that the opera will t consist of one drinking song after ane other. i i A Chris*church doctor, commenting t upon the dancing girls who had just t before been swimming, said: "There was :* muscle in every movement." Surely he v must have had in mind the mussel of a I the sea or he would not have inverted -j so common an expression. i.j ! An advt. from an East Coast newsj paper: "Millinery direct from London . and Paris personally selected by our own _ home buyers. Hundreds of ladies' maids j! and hats .to choose from." There's no j shortage of ladies' maids at East Cape. 1 ! They are "on offer." •Ihe thought of the treatment, our j All Blacks are likely to get from the i Springboks in the second Test to-day j has been keeping many a one awake at ■ j night. J mti-r remind iho-e who are I overwrought that the police on the * , ground will do their iw-t to ire vent a - j ma-saere. - | \ magistrate, iiH'»r expro«-?iii2approval |of modern im-th-<,; dealing with ? criminals, .-ays that. "U* day. perhap-. i ( there will be no need for judges ami : j magistrate-. but that Jay is a 1»-ricr wax , otT. I suppo-e his Wor-hip feds confident r j that our legislators will go on inventing new crime-. r ! The \.ei'i.rn troops in ( ulna. are !■ ' | ported to have '\-arried off ''.(JOG good"(Uae.iii- ai!• I .'{oo l'icomo; i\es." There'- ; nothing in history to parallel ih*t. Tho-e | soldiers who in the Great War v-re | skillnl "scroungers" must simply haml j tke palm to men who are equal to enrrvI ing oIF a locomotive. j The Canterbury Acclimatisation jo« jf,y advocating that rangers He j given power to search any person who j they ;ii~pect is unlawfully in possession jof game or fish. If this becomes law ■ even a docile suburbanite who has never killed anything in his life will be sn*- ! poet he goes abroad with a leather { clinging to his clothe-. I " ! An uji-to-the-la st-punc;i descripi i.ai «.f _ j the Tun ney -1 L'ci;ey light j> to be ~u t j "'in the air" in New Zealand. .Vnv dull ! thuds iieard next Thursday afternoon ' will have been caused I>\ the impair of i a head o>i the floor of the ring. A loud : final thud will indicate that the Povertv ! Bay lamb has done its work. * 1 iie Government lias introduced a bill to deal with certain people w 'no may be | classed a- "socially defective." 1 wl-h ! to point out that a future Government. . composed of lh-torm's opponent-, might i find the phrase very useful if they i desired to get rid of troublesome npp."- ! nenfs. How un-American we are'. A gi-ntie- ? i man in Auckland has ghen away one million pounds < £1.00(M)00and pror' mises to give a few paltry score of thou;j sands more, yet Auckland remains .utttj moved. 1 am sure that any American ! . town containing a man who was in a lj position to give away a million would f' present him with tho freedom of the .! city.

i 11 THE IMMORTAL SCOT. I ! . I

, j lu a reference to his visit to Australia . i and New Zealand with the Duchess, the _ ; Duke of York declared: "In tho-e parts .; I found that Scotsmen never seem to . j die."' 5 i A Scot may leave his native den. j His heather, crags. an' a' thar, Ami go to foreign pairrs. ye ken J i Wi' cannibals. an' a' that. L j But as he sails frae Glesca dock - . ] Wi' "nnld Ian:: syne." an' a' rha: . j Tli.- prophet-pessimist hi; mockl Wbo would repine, an' a' ti-;i;. 1 He travels far anion' the earth } On scanty "hoot.'' an' a' lha:. ! But ne'er forgets his place o' bin!, j In Kvies o' Bute, an' a' thai. i But still where'er he maks his camp j O lums to reek, an' a' that. ! No bank will track a penny stamp Wi' keener check, an' a' that. T*~.e man frae Aberdeen may swap His sporran, kilt, an' a* that. j But he'll be clad somehow on t"p I'll bet a poun'. an' a' that: Though ilka laddies gang in rags, •j In Maori plaids, an' a' that. ' The Scot is gay in Oxford hairs An' tailor-mades, on' a' that. | Though haggis be his native l'ar> • [ And parritch. brose. an' a* that The Scot will thrive on desert air I And drink —say when ! —an' a' thai. Wi' what a saxpenee will attord Or freens may ca', an' a' that. ■ liis rugged tissues are restored And life is braw. an' a' that. >' ■ While it her carl- pn<> on and d>" J Wi' doctors' ills, an a' thar. ', ; The Scot. t'rae mortal failings , Still pays his bills. an' a' thai. i Now. why? "V\ i' gear and wh<«-n o' drams Which t'rcens supply, an a' that: ; I dinua ken. The pair wee lamb's l Too good to die. an' a' that. -E.A. t