CONCERNING JAPES, ETC

Auckland Star, Volume LIX, Issue 165, 14 July 1928, Page 3 (Supplement)

CONCERNING JAPES, ETC

THE BITERS BIT.

(By Slieila Quinn, Tennyson Street,

Dominion Road, age 14.

"Gogs" xvaa the acknowledged duffer of the whole school. Everyone knew it. The juniors knew it; the senior knew it; and even the masters smiled to themselves when his name was ment;oned. Of course, his real name was not "Gogs," but on account of liis enormous horn-rimmed spectacles he had been nick-named "Gogs," and so "Gogs" he remained. I have mentioned that "Gogs" was a duffer. He was more than that. He was an absolute ass, and all because of his disgusting interest in archaeology. He probed into everything and always had a special "kink" over something or other.

The college being situated near the sea, the boys wero always ou the beach, and it was then that "Gogs" began haunting caves, taking do tea and measurements, etc., and altogether behaving in a strange manner. But then —he always did, so we were not alarmed —merely curious. "Gogs" soon enlightened us. "it's Black Dan," he explained, then, seeing our wondering looks: "lie was a smuggler and lived in a cave on the coast somewhere . about here, nearly three hundred years ago. He used to capture people, toOj torture them, and cut their "Gogs" demonstrated with his pocket knife in a manner that would have outrivalled even the great Black Dan. "And oner day," "Gogs" continued, "when he had just completed a great haul of gold and jewels, and had it hidden in his cave, he was killed and the treasure has never yet been found, eo I'm going to look for it, and also for relics." Having finished, "Gogs" blinked round at us through ljis absurd spectacles, and being satisfied that we were deeply impressed, he walked off, quite pleased with himself. It was then that Banks got the great idea. Banks is our taptain and a nut at ideas. "Let's find some cave on the beach, throw a few clues round that will make it appear to have been Black what's-liis-name's cavc, and leave "Gogs" discover it. When he finds out it's all a joke, he'll more than likely feel such an ass that he'll give up his beastly archaeology" he suggested. It seemed a very feasible idea. We thought it great; bo the whole form trooped down to the beach to look for a possible smuggler's cave. % At last we found one. It was ideal. The cave ran for about ten yards and then turned abruptly into a tiny cavern. Black Dan himself could not have chosen a better hiding place. Then in different places round the cavern Banks skilfully inscribed Black Dan's name and a few dates.

We next lured old "Gogs" along and hovered round to watch the fun. Oh! It was fun all right. The joke would have turned out splendidly if it hadn't failed. But I'm going ahead.

Well, "Gogs" entered the cave and wo waited outside, expecting) him any minute to come'rushing out agog with excitement. No such thing happened, however. We waitedV fifteen minutes. Still lie didn't appear. Another fifteen minutes passed, and he was still in the cave.

"Must have fainted with joy," someone suggested.

"Most likely he's sitting gazing rapturously at Black Dan's signatures," someone else hinted. Nevertheless, we decided to investigate. So quietly we all crept along the cave and eagerly peered into the cavern.

We gaped in astonishment. The cave vyas empty. "My sainted aunt," Banks gasped. "Where is the beggar?" '"Where is he?" we echoed blankly. Old "Gogs" had vanished as completely and mysteriously as any magician possibly could. There waa only one entrance to the cave, and we had guarded that entrance. So where was lie? "It beats me," Banks said, scratching his head in a puzzled way. "We'd better search for him."

But though we searched a good half-hour, "Gogs" Btill remained a mystery. "Better get back and tell the Head," Banks again suggested, and as this seemed the best possibla suggestion \vc acted on it. So together we tpriuted thej whole mile back to school, all of us feeling rather alarmed. Disregarding rules and regulations we dashed up the school halls and stairs, most unceremoniously thumped on the Head's door,

and burst into his study, breathless and excited. ' Then for the second time that day -we received a shock. "Shock*" 5 is hardly the word, for wo all stood rooted to the ground—spellbound. For there before us, covered in dirt and grime, was "Gogs," talking and gesticulating excitedly, and with hini, talking and gesticulating equally excitedly, and at the same time, was our worthy Headmaster. Explanations followed on both sides, and we learnt the amazing siory of ' Gogs' " find, and incidentally the tale of the failure of our little plot. "Gogs," it appeared, when lie entered the cave, had not even seen "B.D.'s" signatures, but he did see what we, with all our searching, failed to discover—a tiny hole in the roof. In a unique way he managed to climb through it, and finding himself in a narrow tunnel, commenced to explore. For about a mile he stumbled on and then the tunnel came to an abrupt end, and "Gogs"' saw in front of him a few steps. Up these lie climbed, and seeing a small opening above him, poked his bead through to find the grate of a fireplace on top of him, and on this being removed he was half in and half out of the Head's study. • Thus "Gogs" found an underground tunnel from the shore 10 the college. Of course, the nefrs wa3 soon over the country, and "Gogs" found himself a regular hero. Wise men flocked to converse with him, and ill gave their opinion that the tunnel was the means of escape of an ancient king in bygone days. Xewspaper men stormed the school for '"Gogs'" photo. In fahort, "Gogs," the duller of the school, had become famous overnight. Now, of course, "Goss" is keener than ever on his beastly archaeology, but he doesn't know that, in a wav, he has to thank us for his fame. You see, we didn't mention our little unsuccessful jape to him.