THE PASSING SHOW.

Auckland Star, Volume LIX, Issue 78, 2 April 1928, Page 6

THE PASSING SHOW.

(By THE MAN ABOUT TOWN.) Coming into Auckland this morning a suburban train shook three carriages loose on a grade. It afforded a slight excitement and several columns of eonWESTINGHOUSE. versation. The amateur engineer decided to allay any fear there might have been among the passengers, and he therefore approached a man who happens to be a hard-bitten professional engineer. "It's all right. It's all ri<rht," he told the engineer. "Xo need for excitement; as soon as the carriages are detached the hand brake goes on." A popular clergyman has lately very rightly remarked that the modern child is not so respectful to his parents as the child of earlier da vs. Perlian* LOST GRACES, this thing'has been remarked of each succeeding generation. But. on the other hand, one fancies that in earlier days there was a larger measure ef stiffness between parents and children and less palship than now. Parents who deplore the lack of good manners or respect in their offspring are giving themselves a ~ood hard kick. At any late, the preacher is right; we do not insist that our children shall address us in formal terms nowadays. By the wav a family with the father went to hear that preacher. On Monday morning all of them addressed him as "sir." AH are adult, but thev are trying to regain the habits of the Victorian era amid loud laughter.

Dear M.A.T., —In your Toading par last evening you state tliat according to the proposed new Police Act that the constable will __embrace the policewoman. RECRUITS What I wish to know is FOR THE FORCE, will it be compulso™ or merely optional? It seems to me that it should be optional, otherwise there may be serious complications. Some of the policemen are married, and then the-e is the taxpayer; in fact, the whole proposition bristles with difficulties and will require to be handled with the greatest delicacy. Could you please inform me what the limit is in case a man of good character wished to join the force in Auckland? An earlv replv will oblige.—Bachelor. ' "

A cablegram mentions the case of a man who woke up in a Welsh mortuary and found himself alive. The horror of being interred alive is present in all LIVELY CORPSES, humanity, and the terror

°f seeing a dead man rise up and walk is grisly. Once upon a time when a little old war was on British prisoners died so often that quite a large mortuary was necessary in the prison compound. An ingenious artilleryman remained in the vicinity of the mortuary after '"lights out"' and crawled into a coffin, pulling 011 the lid. He knew that the guard avoided this unpleasant place, but just as he was raising the lid to escape a doctor arrived and. was astonished to see the corpse leave at the double. The doctor himself departed in terror. The artilleryman cut a hole in the barb wire and escaped, headinc for the British lines. It is unpleasant to have to record that this lively corpse was shot dead by men of a patrol.

Xelson hammered the Dutch at Copenhagen on April 2, 1801. Did he disobey the order"of Admiral Sir Hyde Parker, and did he put his nwrp telescope to his blind ONCE UPON eye? If he did not it A TIME, robs his career of a nattv

little incident and the true Nelson touch. Admiral Beatty, in later days but there! Parker was a peppery old chap, and, history says, not very efficient. When he was especially angry Nelson placated him by presents of turbot. Later authorities (who, of course, were not there and probably searched the newspaper tiles) said that Parker gave Nelson a free hand and put up the sipnal to withdraw so that Nelson might clear out if he wanted to. Nelson was full of fun. He used to let kiddies ride him round drawing rooms, so the story of the telescope and the blind eve is possibly true.

"I see that little cigarette is still burning this morning," said a young fellow who hadn't lost half a million gallons of benzine, looking nTTlrr> tv™™ towar(ls the "spectacular'' LES column of smoke at WinTROUBLES. stone's. Curious as it is, ~. . a disaster like this is exhilarating to the people. Men smilingly discussed whether the Haines were higher in the evening or the morning and whether the smoke was blacker on Sunday or Monday. "I had a lump of luck," said one man. ' - I was up m the Wftitakeres— bonsor view!" The explosions rejoiced everybody (or appeared to) and the man wh<f heard the loudest pop was of course, the luckiest. Schoolboys who had unhappily been unable to obtain a near view on Sunday promised themselves a bike ride after school. A young man with pronounced features sat on a ferry boat immersed in a sporting paper. Another man, his eves devouring the spectacle of the fire, said to him. "Look, look! Look how the flames are jumping up!" The young man continued to gather mation that Bullet had romped hime an easv winner in the Speedmore Handicap, but lazily lemarked, "It ain t my benzine!"

A British manufacturer savs that the caprices of women's fashion are involving industiy in chaos. The making of embroidery AM a » t alut laces %vhich once be*AN APPEAL decked inv lady's "arTO WOMEN, ments is now almost a lost art. and the Swiss, who used to produce them, have now converted their factories, making linens and handkerchiefs, formerly a North of Ireland monopoly. Woman is ruler of the world and has imposed irresponsible and fantastic fashions. ThC rucks the'world? is the foot that U rt f t u k r l e ,j he manufacturer whose flag of trade is • v "°?' t^crn Irishmen by wearing near silk And by cutting down her woollen wear she gives the lorkies shocks. tw % ,a " n r V ' J°u're delightful to the ordinary man But manufacturers you're an enemy, dear Oh, can t you wear more laces or sweet embroidery YOU d°e° ehine bright loVely ln - vour crepe (made 0f look ° h ' tmdValong, 1 ' deUr XunQy sirl ' and our F °* wrong! ° luseious as y° u do Is really very JUSt st S o°e W y ° Ur loyal nature by S° iD S to the Demanding from the^ princess there the clothes "'a heart, Vnd "vZ™* *" ; d ° h,lve Wea granny's "uay 1 . 1^8 * a 3 they did in

A THOUGHT FOR TO-DAY. The Means to Attain a Happy Life. n,L Ul j' the t , h ' n S3 that a® attaiu Tiii • t app , y _ llf e be these, I find : Thp'fM i l ' not got wlth P a in: The eminwln 1 S round : the quiet mind ; Xo charffP nf j?° srud & e - no strife; «♦.* , cnarge of rple, 110 governance • Tho U i . as , e ', the healthful life ; Ti,i household of contiuuance • t "2 eal ? diet, no delicate fare; Tbe night 8 discharged of'all* elre"* 88 = withmu y debate 1 - 1 " 683 5 C.= ~HE h v^ r^ eath ' ne fear hfs ikight --BS-NEr HowaW, SABfc guuii,