THE PASSING SHOW.

Auckland Star, Volume LIX, Issue 77, 31 March 1928, Page 8

THE PASSING SHOW.

(By THB MAN ABOUT TOWN.) The rolling reindeer gathers no moss, and we subtropical Aucklanders, deciding to wean a few specinfens of the draught horse of the snows from a g e-o 1 d THE MOSSEATERS* habits, are training them to eat something else in our Zoo. The authorities brought moss for them for the voyage, but forgot the snow, and, probably as a stimulant to continued existence, the deer will be given vacations in the National Park to gambol in their natural element. The educational idea of wrenching animals from their national habitat and imprisoning them for the delectation of the proletariat necessitates a change of habit in animals wild by nature, and very likely some day a change in tho heart of man will end zoos." Animals are discriminating in their tastes, For instance, the tiger, which ordinarily kills its own breakfast, in captivity will not eat frozen beef, and tho frozen beef that does not go to London from these Fortunate Jsles is fed to local humans at the same price as Best Fresh Prime. Reverting to our new reindeer, we do hope that the authorities will dress the reindeer cage with cotton wool s»o\y for Christmas and Santa Clans. It was be so jolly for the reindeer—and the kiddies.

TAIHOA ! Losses sustained by the freezing industry and the farming community through the adoption of "go-slow" tactics were referred to at a meeting of the Wanganui provincial executive of the Farmers' Union. How doth the tired nnd weary man Go glow and do less labour. So lie <>an huve more foi>d to eat And give more to his neighbour? Why dpn't the fat an<l spotted ruws From BUI this method borrow. And say. "We'll give no inllk to-day. Ami lesser still tomorrow"'i Oh. why don't grass and wheat and oats "Down tools" and knock off growing To help humanity along, Prosperity a-sowing7 And why don't spuds and apple trees "Down fruit" and cease production? Let u ail go slow like freezers, and Live evermore by suction.

MAT., old thing, it was with interest I lead your par on Wednesday regarding inquiries of the names of ships from Australia in 1900. I know of one WHAi HtJ, which escaped notice—one SHIPMATES! which really carried the „,, x bot >y of the'Rt. Hon. R. J. >eddon to his sorrowing country. This was tlio Oswestry (not Drayton) Grange. "Dick" died 011 the voyage. Incidentally, the Oswestry 'Jrange started a second trip from the "Old Dart ' that year, but did not arrive in Auckland until the time of the big flood, Febmarv, 1007. She left the Mersey 011 November 6 and' the passengers had a day at St. Vincent on Cape Verde Islands (I'll tell vou about that some other time), a day at Capetown, one at Albany, fj\e at Adelaide, four at Melbourne, four at Sydney and three at Auckland. Some of the passengers still had to get to Part Chalmers. Oh yes, she was a steamer all right. It cost me £14 for a berth in an eight-berth cabin and it was easily the best holiday that I've ever had. A trifle hard on the familv man, perhaps, but I was in my 'teens. The accommodation was certainly not de luxe, but she was steady. I'm calling a reunion meeting one of these days.—Y. 0

Since M.A.T. told Adam's best yarn about the pumpkin that pushed the fence over several people have solemnly averred thev THF Ptimditth do not believe the story THE PUMPKIN, and even doubt Washing- ,, , , ton's well-known tale of the farmer who took a day off to motor round his pflze watermelon. But true stories of pumpkins have arisen from the telling of this hardy lie. Charlie, for instance, mentions that on a southern journey he saw manv ardent horticulturists at work on the* pumpkin cop Asking them what they were doing, they told him that the bees will not pollinate pumpkins in the south and that this necessarv genesis of a favourite fruit has to be done bV the human hand. It will remind people who eat dates that the process is necessary for them, too. Reverting to pumpkins of newspaper paragraph dimensions, one knew a retired sergeant-major who spent the declining years of a wicked life in producing abnormally laige pumpkins. "The old regimental" used to make an incision in the stalk near the bloated subject and feed it with sugar and water Then when the prize vegetable had reached its maximum lie spent some hours cross-cutting the stalk, and, with the help of a platoon, raised it to a truck, in which it was wheeled to the editor of the local paper who immortalised it in imperishable literature'

Dear M.A.T., I read the other dav that a close season had been declared at Matamata tor native and imported" game. This set NATIVF inn !' le t '? inkin S and led me HATIVE AND to ask myself how long IMPORTED, birds would have to breed , , ' n New Zealand before the descendants became '-native" and thoughts th i i °J* ii° f kunians. Years ago I startled ♦ u ». t Home by writing and statin^ that 1 was courting a young lady who was a nati\c of New Zealand." I was cut off without a shilling until I explained that the "i r i was of English and Irish parentage, born°in New Zealand. She calls herself a New £eafnr.ll'" at about little Raymond, the son ot Chinese parents, born in New Zealand? Is he a native, Chinese or New Zealander? Which leads me to ask which generation of Hungarian partridges will become New Zealand partridges or when bears at the Auckland Zoo will* 8 be' known as New Zealand bears, or when Plymouth Rocks will be natives of New Zealand lin nearly out of my depth now, M.A T and at^° S * llea, .'- v - 1 dQ that we eiedit the Maoris with being "natives" and vet my wife doesn't even trouble to <nve me the count when I refer to her as a "native." Why imported" game, then after the first generation ?—G.

MERELY MARY ANN. ' fI H , A Y' I V' rri t es: Newspapers have reported the finding of pictures worth ££0,000 "in a kdie Th 0 ™"" ot ' the sitti »S room of two The suggestion that brooms, dusters and vacuum cleaners had missed this corner is heightened by the statement that the picTures came to this place in 1851!

f an .? eor " e ! lves on a stock route. He and his riik/,iH ,e in 7,f d to the e,aek of stockwhips ( like rifles m the trees") and the incomparable INSIIIT Tn linguistic diversities of the A GENTTFUiv (I,OVers - 1,1 the vicinity A GENTLEMAN, are branch roads down • , which speculative beeves i cahes in search of a mother, and even bull!' roam from the broad road that leads to es ruction that is, the slaughtervards There where fancy Ted a'paUeS dow,f whieh h? 6 bUH h° ee " ,e ° ther h y ™*i uow„ winch he careered with a kink in hi.' ittemntg #P the at ! iOU hi " Cy °" After sever al Pr£» the drover again headed Jersey lr.ee, and as the beast was dodffin- i.Tto and whi P l a,l h^t pierced him°to kink- nnn t head bowed dowu and the