RANDON SHOTS

Auckland Star, Volume LIX, Issue 71, 24 March 1928, Page 2 (Supplement)

RANDON SHOTS

"2KMDEC

Some write a neighbour's name to lash. Some write — vain thought — for needful cash, Some write to please the country clash And raise a din; For me, an aim I never fash, I write for fun.

It eeems that the British Totaliaator Bill will be left at the post.

Now that the chemists have declared a six-day working week, it is up to Bick people, as well as those who contemplated sickness, to take the tip. But will theyt

Those unregenerate people who have not become radio addicts have observed with some satisfaction that when the radio people wish to conduct a controversy they go straight to the newspapers.

The director of air services says the New Zealand public needs education so that it shall become "air-minded." I can tell him that there is much promising raw material in New Zealandpeople with even less than air in their minds.

"He (the Minister of Education) had always held that the children had to be accommodated- That was a feature of his policy." And very sound, too. Of what use would an educational system be without the pupils? What, indeed, would be the use of the Minister's policy?

In advising an athletic club to guard its amateur status, a Christchurch man said that a professional, when he retired, had nothing to show for his performances, whereas the amateur had a row of cups. If this were the justification of amateurism, most of us might as well have turned professional.

The British Government is giving the King of Afghanistan a few experiences to remember when he returns to li'l ole Kabul. Having seen the British submarines, armoured cars and fighting 'planes, only one thing remains if His Majesty would witness "the most up-to-date achievement of Western civilisation—he must see the "tin" hare races.

The new law governing confectioners who are also tobacconists, recalls the question which many people have asked themselves: "Why don't smokers buy enough cigarettes to last them over the week-end?" Is it because they have resolved to smoke less, and then weaken in their resolution, or because, being thrifty, they don't see why the shopkeeper should gain one day's interest on their ninepences?

Happy school days, when those days fall in election year! The reports of visits paid by Ministers to schools this year usually mention that, "The Minister requested that the children be granted a half-holiday." Inasmuch as the children are an extra half-day at home, to the worry of their parents, it is problematical whether this part of the politician's election-year technique really brings results.

"During February the births at the Rathbone Maternity Hospital, Waipawa, totalled three. The fees collected amounted to £67 13/." —If the fees collected were for the three babies, the rate !• £22 11/ per baby! And this is only the beginning. Say the babies each weighed 81b, then they cost nearly £3 per lb. Yet these mites are often offered to "any kind person" free of cost.

These are lean days for the tellers of fish stories. The wildest flights of their imagination are often, alas, matched by the facts. Up at Russell the Bay of Islands Swordfish Club is offering trophies for the heaviest swordfish and black marlin caught this season. And the existing records for marlin is 8611b. In order that the practitioners of a noble art should not be discouraged, the club should offer a prize for tha beat Nev Zealand fish story (true stories barred).

I fear that the majors of New Zealand, in conference assembled, let themselves in for a lot of trouble by deciding "that civic receptions should not be given to any person engaged in the advertising of a trading undertaking." Has not the Prince of Wales been called "the Empire's greatest commercial traveller"? The Rt. Hon. L. C. M. S. Amery, P.C., etc., spent much of his time in New Zealand in boosting British goods. However, we assume that, as in the past, boxers who come to New Zealand in quest of big purses will not be denied civic honours. Boxing, you see, is an art.

"At the Napier Technical College Board of Governors' meeting a speaker said that it was an astonishing thing, in his opinion, that certain dictionaries, and even slang dictionaries, did not find space to explain such words as 'dinkum,' etc. These words were need and known universally, he said, and, as everybody used them, they naturally became English. He felt very strongly that something should be done to ensure the boys being taught the English language more as it appealed to the man in the street. He was not keen on too much literary education. Why should the schools stay inside a cloister? We should use the language usted by the world."—l quite agree with the speaker. How much more intimate and friendly the relations between a master and his pupils might be if he addressed them each morning in "the language used by the world, as thuss "Now, I want you blokes to know that this chucking stones at the cops is right over the odds. Either you knock it off or I'll take it out of your hides. This morning I'm going to try Standard IV. out on a few of the sums I gave the blighters in Standard V. yesterday. If Standard IV. doesn't beat those mugs in Standard V., I'll go he."