THE PASSING SHOW.

Auckland Star, Volume LIX, Issue 30, 6 February 1928, Page 6

THE PASSING SHOW.

(By THE MAN ABOUT TOWN.)

_ The latest aquatic pastime, outboard motor racing, allows ample scope for the ideas and even the eccentricities of those ■who take part in it. Originality in deWHAT'S IN sign of the craft is folA NAME? lowed by at least an equal origiriality in names given at their christening. On Saturday one of the competing boats in the cightoen-knot race rejoiced in tho semi-Maori, semi-humorous name of "Waikikuparau." Those who live on tho waterfront fervently say, "Yes, wai?"

They were discussing the resumption of work at the secondary schools, when one proud parent remarked that after another vear in

an Auckland school she BETTER was going to send her THAN RUGBY, young hopeful to Rugby.

"Rugby," replied her unimpressed friend, "I hate Rugby; I'm going to send my boy to Soccer." And the first proud parent, not a football enthusiast, is still looking through the English public school list to discover the location and special merits of Soccer.

It is noticed that a suburban fruit shop has ''Bon Creation" pears for sale. A friend has suggested that amalgamated shopkeepers should employ some literCHRISTIAN WITH ary marvel to subedit THE PIP. window signs, thus of

course robbing many window gazers of much innocent amusement. Very likely the innumerable fruit vendors do not bother to remember that Bon Chretien pears are just Good Christian pears, almost the only fruit that acknowledges its sect. It is commonly understood in' France that the name was given to the pear because it is a cross, thus conveying the idea of the faith indicated.

Counsel mentioned a ease before Mr. Justice Blair, our newest judge. It is a ease in which slander will be alleged, parties being members of local bodies. MOONSHINE Counsel pointed out that AND JUSTICE, he would be unprepared durinp February sittings and the nimble-witted judge instantly said, "Fix it for the Ides of March." Rather apt! The Ides, or day of full moon, in Roman times was held to fall on the 13th or 15th of the month. Lunar measurement of time has persisted even to February, 1928. Wonder did his Honor remember his Shakespeare:

Remember March, the Ide* of March remember, Did not great Caesar bleed for justicp sake'' what villain touched his fcody that did stab And not for justice?

The public often joke about the profits of the chemist, who charges 3d for a few ingredients and 3/3 for knowing how to mix them, but even tfip HANDSOME chemist must be envious PROFIT, of the return secured by a suburban storekeeper. He bought a tin of benzine, attractive labels, bottles and corks and proceeded to put up' small quantities of the liquid so much in demand for cleaning gloves and other household occupations so frequently attended with risk. The transaction, he proudly relates, brought him in a net profit of thirty-two' shillings. Yet if one suggested to housewives that they should take a quart bottle to the nearest bowser they would immediately declare the benzine there wasn't good enough. A label can work miracles.

There is an ancient Eastern saying "Hurry is of the devil,' but in a busy modern city it can be carried too far. There are amongst North Shore residents "WON'T HTTPPVS » th ° SC ap t ear to have wun a HuRRYS. a rooted objection to punctuality, at any rate in catching the 8.30 ferry to town. They stroll casually down the wharf, regardless of the fact i boat . is alread y due to leave and that the man in charge of the gangway has repeatedly rung his warning bell. A certain amount of latitude is given in the case of family parties and elderly people, but it is not these who cause the delay, for most of the delinquents are decidedly in the "able-bodied" class. One of these days the 8.35 will leave dead on time and then there are sure to be a few like Lord Ullin on the other shore—"left lamenting."

There was a photograph of Bemersyde, the ancestral home of the Haigs, in the "Star" which showed a tree the Haigs had neglected to cho P down for nine FIREWOOD? hundred years. As a

natural-born New Zealand tree destroyer, who lives in a weatherboard house made from a tree antedating British history, the average citizen ought to be interested. The incredibly old kauri trees w e long to chop or hack or burn are family trees in an even finer sense than the Haig" tree, for they are unique in the whole British congeries of families. The man who laid an axe at the butt of the Haig tree would be regarded with the deepest horVor. The man who lavs a saw twenty feet up the trunk of the finest kauri in the world is regarded as an instrument in the great march of Maoriland progress. Talking about trees, M.A.T. possesses a snapshot taken by a Xew Zealander of the Garden of Gethsemane, and in it is shown a pnarled, knotted and ugly little tree. Legend declares that this is the tree under which the Christ suffered his agony before crucifixion. Many Xew Zealanders saw it, but not one of them exclaimed in the formula of his countrv "Nice bit o' firewood!"

In sorrow writes: Dear M.A.T.,— Xow the mosquito season is ou the public will be glad to know- of preventives against their bites. There are none. STILL THEY BIT. I have tried every one of

them and there isn't one that prevents. We spent a summer holiday near Lake Horowhenua, where the mosquitoes are real two hundred per cent full-blooded she-mosquitoes. (I understand that only the female barks and bites, that is, in the mosquito family.) Every recommended preventive we tried; we soaked ourselves in kerosene and we sat in the smoke of a green wood fire; perhaps I should explain that these were separate and not simultaneous experiments. And still they bit. It was in that district that two Irishmen, working on a road contract, were so pestered by the mosquitoes that for protection they jumped into an empty iron tank and shut the lid after them. Then the mosquitoes started bitinothem through the tank. Then Pat and Mike took off a boot each and every time a stins came through they flattened it. After five minutes of this the boss mosquito gave a loud buzz and there was a flapping of mosquito wings, and off flew mosquitoes, tank and Irishmen. And if you don't believe me, go down there yourself and they'll show you' the tank. They used to tell a story in Wellington about a Wellingtonian who came to Auckland and passed a remark about our summer climate. An Auckland mosquito heard him, and the WelliEgtonian was buried at Karori.' Fishing is all right in its way, but as a real stimulus to the imagination give me mosquitoes every time.

WHY SMALL?

.According to a report from Estonia, "Small square islands with electrically-heated metal footplates for traffic policemen to stand on in cold weather have been installed in Riga." Islands is right enough, but why small t