THE PASSING SHOW.

Auckland Star, Volume LIX, Issue 23, 28 January 1928, Page 8

THE PASSING SHOW.

(By THE MAN ABOUT TOWN.) The "Tact and Tactics" editor was sitting at his table sharpening a BB pencil with a razor blade. Following the usual practice of journalists, he did not TACT look up when the door AND TACTICS, opened, but he was sharply called to attention bytwo stalwart and coal-begrimed sons of toil. '•'Look here, wo wanna know how you come to give the first prize last week? We couldn't see the joke at all." The editor: "Well, it's this way —" They buried him next day. It occurs that although the population of Pitcairn Island was founded in mutiny the small isolated community became and remains praise worthily pious and IDEAL unquestionably upri gh t ISLANDERS, and honourable. Not long since the steamer Gambia called in there to leave mails and was anchored for twenty minutes only. Captain G. A. Ablett, mentioning that thirty of the inhabitants pulled off in boats to trade, said, "They swapped what they had with us, but I noticed that by no manner of means would they accept liquor or tobacco in exchange. The missionaries seem to have done their work well, for instead, as you would expect, of asking us for literature, they actually handed mc a bundle of tracts to convert my crew."

PERSONALITY OF THE WEEK.

The Honorable William Xosworthy. Post-master-General, is a farmer, although he doesn't look it, i 3 sixty years of age. and does. It is true that he left the home THE HON. farm at an early age to WM. NOSWORTHY. learn the grain business, and he has garnered gratefully and well since then. Peculiarly fitting it was that the present P.M.G. and the A oice of Saiiioa_ should jiave spent some early years on the heights of Parnassus (a shee'p station) and he has since climbed even higher than that. Poetically indicative of his helpful character is the fact that he bought "Mesopotamia. a sheep station, in 1917 (comc over into Mesopotamia and help us!). He entered politics through the well-known method of apprenticeship, for he was elected to the Anama Road Board in 1901, becoming M.P. for Ashburton (an abstemious constituency) seven years later. Mr. Nosworthy emphasised his Briticity early in the war bv inferring that if alleged enemy aliens remained in the House he would leave it. But it has been hard to part. That was in 1914. Mr. Nosworthy is of a vivacious temperament, and as a statesman can be temporarily aggressive on suitable occasions, the excellent system of providing talented private secretaries for Cabinet Ministers giving outstanding results.

* Hairy Lodder.'' as so many of his fellow comedians of Caledonia call him, gets his best laughs ut social functions by inferring that Scots are canny chiels. He was the Noise FISHER OF MEN. at a Dundee anglers' wee Scots nicht. He said at it tnat nshing was not so much a pastime as a disease, but a very healthy disease. It was a beautiful disease. Many a day's fishing had cost him nothing and he had paid for it out of the cheque for £.100 he earned the same night. (Shrieks of laughter.) In India, said lie, many beautiful trout had got into the rivers where Scots had put them, but you had to get in touch with the Scots who put them there to get them out again. They practically kept the pools to themselves. He met a Scots trout fisher in India who had lent him a fly. (Loud applause.) Was there anv man in the world but a Scot who would lend you something for nothing in order that vou might get all if possible? "We are it!" shouted Sir Harry amidst tempestuous applause. The wee Harry told a yarn about rabbits. One day the rabbits were bolting extremely well into their burrows. The president of the rabbit shoot, Mr. C'allaghan, who, of course, would have to pay for some of the amusement, was so disgusted with the lack of game that he threw his bonnet in the air. "That was the only shot I got that day," said Han v

"Mako': Last night as usual I read the paper, gleaned there was a drought on, scanned the sporting, looked at the pictures and noted THE SPORTQMinvr la^ est Bhark catches SPORTSMEN, from the north, and saw by an advertisement that you can get a real good reel for winding in shark for fifty pounds. I threw the paper down, ate a large hunk of bread and old cheese lubricating it with strong waters, went to bed and dreamed Before me was a splendid old English country house. Several peers were on the fine drive in expensive motor cars. Gentlewomen were on the magnificent steps and dotted the terraces. Some sport seemed to be « ' ;° r „- tWO ® arls ' a general and a colonel Jw! l °i S about with large meat hooks in their hands, and behind the garages workmen were sharpening others. The party of "en tiemen, proceeding to a beautiful large "green H there were several bullocks traSS ft® m T ks f ith choice titbits a nd trailed them slowly on chains across the sward A fine young bullock nosed one of these baits and swallowed ,t. The noble lord who was holding the line attached to the car exclaimed delightedly, "I'm into him!" The meat Wi, held in the bullock's throat and he leapt wildly charged, roared and gave every indication of terror and agony. There 'was immense rejoicing. A general called out cheerilv "He'll give. us a couple of hours of real sport." And he did. For two hours the game towed the motor mi, i the sportsmen in it lighting m i v with the line. After a keen dav's SDort party returned to the house chatting merrily The ladies at dinner were keen to know what sort of a dav's snnrt th! "ThaM" l h?\ j ° Uy " chir Ped a pe£ That big black beast dragged the car f or ££ and miles before he fell dead; he was the best fighting fish I-' I wish I hadn't read that telegram about the record mako and the ma* nificent sport he gave the srentlpnmn _, r T wish I hadn't eaten checse. '