THE PASSING SHOW.

Auckland Star, Volume LVIII, Issue 211, 7 September 1927, Page 6

THE PASSING SHOW.

(By THE MAN ABOUT TOWN.)

New Zealand has claimed that remarkable soldier, Colonel B. C Freyberg, V.C, CJLC D.S-O-, so that new* of -Tiny" it probably of interest to people who •TINT." followed the astonishing military career of a man who was going to be • dentist—-and thought better of it. He has lately been ia hospital suffering again from hi* war wound*, of which be has nine. A man who was of the same year as " Tiny" at Wellington 0~-Z.) College wrote of him when be made his gallant attempt to swim the English Channel, saying that it was remarkable that a middle-aged man so battered could swim at all, large wounds being visible. Colonel Freyberg married the widow of the Hon. Francis W. McLaren, M.P., who is the daughter of Colonel Sir Herbert Jekyll.

Predicting a world famine in timber, forestry experts are telling the world that timber is second only in importance to food and clothing. *1 doubt LISTEHIHG-IH. it," aaid the Xew Zea-

lander, who set fire to a potential million pounds' worth of irreplaceable forest to grow a few pounds' worth of grass. A man one knows until a few weeks ago had a particularly lovely tree that was known to be seventy years of age, sound, beautiful and a thing of joy to the district. He got the wireless bug and has felled and chopped it up in order to erect a long iron pipe to carry his aerial. The idea of carrying his aerial on a branch of the tree apparently never occurred to hhn. In the matter of trees mo*t Maorilanders badly want their "heads read.* .

Both the Xew Zealand Hlga in London and the Federal Higa Qommi<»ioaer hare been to the from. Sir Janes Parr, if

you remember, we* i«A SUBURB. put*d to have endangered his Kfe by borrow icy aa officer , * uniform and proceeding, thus attired, into a trench. Major-General Sir GrmnriU* de Laune Ryrie, the Federal High Commissioner, apparently doe* not take bi* London duty co seriously aa our own representative, and teUs after dinner st«rie«. At a dinner to Mr. Theodore Fink, General Ryrie (who paid a flying vicit to Xcw Zealand mum time ptfcr to his departure for London) related a ctorr of "a fair dinknm Ansae." *XJortlin»T: Was you at Bethlehem?" said tbe buahman. •Ye*." "Strut*! I thought Bethlehem was in Heaven!"

A motorist in the sunny couth, being charged with intoxication while attemptinc to drive his car, pleaded that be in __ __ possibly hare been in- ****** ****** he had MOTORISTS, only consumed fire alcoholic bererasec durinjr the two hours preceding the alleged offence. Captain John J. Robertson, an arm* cx-suneoa, ie pleading at Home for the elimination of the word "drunk" in a charge against a person who causes an accident, and ear* in the armj a man is "drunk" when, by reason of having taken some intoxicant, he is unable to carry out efficiently the particular work that for the time being forms his "duty." A single •Jaw of good ale would be enough when taken at tbe wrong time to bring a man before a court martial on such a charge. It is not the amount that matters—it is the effect and the time. The extract was shown to an habitual motorist. He axked, "Could von plca.se tell me where you can get the beer* the teto? refers to?

Sad to relate, tte kot.br of Kamtirea* 'iJ'v no WM, • »odeni of cril human ingenuity, and, indeed, in these „,_,„ «l*r« of slim figures foe SBOPPIKS. colt ttaa formerly. Oμ • gentleman in the garaent Uwioew mentions that an employee for mi years occasionally walked oat of* the tratldin* wearing two suits at a time, b « own oa top' of coarse, but he aajs the day when the employee faded from the eternises wearing twenty ailk blouses are gone Be think* that witt the return of more generoas feminine dotting tte art aay revive—*nd bopea ml In h>ndon Utely a lady who Ead pone into a shop slim and come oat 3es* svelte *u discovered to have enough *ilk garment* to dotte many ladies. A*C*rton*ola«r mentioned ttat the trained «ye notradaTs ea*itv detects extra sartorial bulk. The ladr aWe referred to was fined £141 end ™>i«. We hare apparently not yet leaned Uu art of fining in Auckland. mJ .*^ f *•■ «*»t *o know the time ask a pobeemaa; tte proper Grenwicfa tirac. ask a policeman. Every policeman is the Faroe ha* ,„-. • watch and chain, of OF THE FORCE, know tte time aak a . . policeman." This incident happeMd many months ago in a nseeless town ?~sf* J" tke M * re »* hostelry. The dock showed ttat only three minutes remained for irngstion. A eoortsbl. enter.. Immediate^ **• f""? tfceir eomforta and prepared for quick >.«*imil*tioa aad danartore. pe coartable gaaes stcnly at tte dodcTwittdraw, hi* own timepiece from tte pSiee he keeps his baton, his handcuffs and uTpoeket book, and, without any word or argument, £%1Z *£*• "T 1 P° U *• until the dock shows the accurate time, ttat is, twen^f -three minute* to aix. The aportsmen (and otter patient*) gate in actonishioenU striking them, ttey bant into three heartv cheers. Some of tte gentlemen attempt to fondle the strong arm of the law and pat him on the back, but otters sir* new and hastr orders. \oo of coarse, may laugh, bat the law is equally exacting in iU demand that these heJtt i>arlo«d«ll remaiTopei? upH to the statutory moment, as it U that tter rfiall not remain open when aix o'clock has aounded. • M .«2ni- D " i ' bt,l, * d-tfegekbed German. eounaelling economy, »id tte peoples of Europe would only rehabilitate ttenwelr« bv > coQcentrmted work. H*e UHEMPLOTED. attend ao man? meeting* to banquets. *° wfaifa Srom #**S rmir fires a cove tbc JaßtptT ITleww bar ■• BBotAr ear*. slFL&i* * «M?wsrld e % r . I*^ ,, !.^* , * ~ ■ twelw-nsom k.. ow At Hawick or fuauK ««■«» So 'P«KJtiese «rswSTHiW Wγ •«/ la ibeai ilu au tb- coot; no BUi: