HEARTACHE.

Auckland Star, Volume LVIII, Issue 136, 11 June 1927, Page 24

HEARTACHE.

TRIALS OF A MOTHER. "THE ENGAGEMENT IS ANNOUNCED." SELFISHNESS OF THE ENGAGED. (By G. EDITH BURTON.) A mother (a "real" mother) is being perpetually called upon to make sacrifices' for her children. During the years of babyhood these are mostly what one would call "outer" sacrifices, of time, and physical care, with at times of course the anxiety of the ailments of childhood. When school days are over— when—(l was just going to say "when dresses are lengthened and hair is put up," but n« one would know what I was talking about), when sous and daughters are old enough to marry—then it is that a mother needs "the wisdom of the serpent, the gentleness of the dove," and also, we might add, a brave, Btout heart.

There is nothing so "tbrawn" as a boy, or a girl, who feels he or she has found a mate. Search the wide world over, and you will find in every clime, in every age, in every station in life, that fierce resentment intrepid youth exhibits when "the family" tries to tell it that "Gustave" or "Dora" is not really "quite" suitable. Daugher Lucy has always been such a "biddable" girlhardly bothered to choose her own clothes, or even her girl friends, giving up so sweetly to mother, in almost everything—until—ah! yes "until" that unsuitable suitor paid suit. Then— when Mamma begins gently to insert the first excluding peg, what unsounded depths does she cause to erupt! Aghast she recoils from the blazingreyed tigress clothed in the meek Lucy's skin. Fiercely she defends her lover from tne attacks of a hostile family. Opposition fans the fl%me of love and arouseß a sense of maternal protective spirit. Reason, for the time being, Is smothered. And at such a time mother has just to stand helplessly by and suffer. Lucy is of age, and it is quite within the realm of possibility that to forbid Gustave the house may mean a runaway wedding. So with her experience of how difficult married life often is, even with a good husband, mother has to stand aside— has even to help to prepare her ewe lamb for the life-long mipery of unsuitable' mating. And in the happy event of a very suitable engagement has a mother many trials? Well, just ask some devoted mothers and hear what they have to say.

Into the Background. There is nothing on earth quit© so selfish, as a newly-engaged couple who are very much in love, and though Arehio may be bad enough, Florence is quite without conscience. For the time being her own mother, her own family are pushed into the background, almost out of sight. Archie, and all that has the privilege of surrounding Archie, wears a glorious halo; even his sniffy old uncle and his snappy aunt are taken | whole-heartedly to Florence's bosom. Archie's mother is such a wonderful cook, such an excellent manager, and offered to teach Florence to make real puff-paste. "Of course, mother, dear, is 'very* nice, and I know you would tepch me too, bnt as Archie is used to his mother's, I think ITI let her show me. And she has such a 'very* good plan for so-and-so' and such-and' such. I think it is so much better than what we do"—and ion and on she flouta barbed arrows—and if her mother in exasperation tells her that she can compete any day with Archie's mother in any household line, Florence is quite surprised at her heat, sighs and says plaintively: "O, mother, you are so touchy these days!" >

"This is Different." Special family days, Sunday teas, holidays, are nearly all given to Archie's mother. 'It isn't fair to have Archie here too much,** says Florence, "when his mother is going; to lose him altof ether soon." "What, about us?" asks er father, rather sharply. "Well, you see, Dad, that is different,." says Florence calmly but finally. And mother says very little, but her heart aches very much. She feels that her little girl is becoming quite lost to her —first Archie, then Archie's mother to monopolise her. But mother need not fear. She is not lost, only mislaid for a time. Remember the old saying, "My son is m y son till he weds a wife, but my daughter's my daughter for all my life.** Quaint little lines, but full of truth.

When a few months of married life are over, back will come your little old girl. Like a homing pigeon she will make straight for her old home. You cannot lose that dear daughter. The passing years will only bind you closer together. Each child she bears will strengthen for you her Have and understanding. She may still admire Archie's mother, but it will be your face she sees when she says "mother." It will be your • oof when she speaks of "home."