THE PASSING SHOW.

Auckland Star, Volume LVIII, Issue 122, 26 May 1927, Page 6

THE PASSING SHOW.

(By THE HAN AtOUT TOWN.)

Young Bill, of rarnell, had been snuffling a good deal, and hu father and mother took him to a doctor. Doctor told the parents that Bill would be as BILL BARRED right as a trivet when he BABIES. had had his throat scraped free of adenoids. So they asked Rill if he would be afraid of going into a private hospital for a couple of days. And Bill said, "Oh, I don't mind a* long as they don't palm off a baby on me like they did on Mum when she went there.** F.M. write*:—May I offer you the following suggestion for a design for the seal of the Auckland Listener*' League, when incorporated:— On a shield ereirr. the PRO BOKO front panel of a wireless RADIO. receiving set defaced by a bar Minister. Supporters: Two listcners-in rempant. Crest: A station-director's head «n/«r on a charger, or Motto: "Pro ttono Radio." Mr. K. W. Inder. of the Harbour Board, will have the enthusiastic support of everybody but Wilkins Micawbcr in his endeavour to eliminate from public docuSHORT, "SHARP,- ments unnecessary verbiINCISIVE. age. That's a garrulous sentence in itself, and Eric might excise the superfluous words and return it (post paid) and without charging perusal fee. Ono understands that the Law Sodetr intends to ruthlessly prune from every form ■nd precedent all words not necessarv to them. (Loud laughter, in which his Honor join*.l Newspaper people are not immune from the common sin of verbal splurge. One of the very best of them, bright, original and talented, all his life desired the establishment of a School of Journalism. He wrote an article under that title. The first sentence was one occupying forty lines without any punctuation whatever. We get refreshing lessons in logic every day. Figures compiled in Auckland show that a motor cycle travelling at thirty miles an hour will proceed eightyTHE HUNTERS, seven feet after the ~ ~ brakes are applied, and that a car will proceed merely eighty-four feet under the circumstances. A relative of a deceased pedestrian will therefore be comforted to remember that If she was killed by a car she had nearly a half-second's longer life than the person who was killed by a motor cycle. A magistrate assumes that the man who beau the other to his kill by a fraction should he punished the more severely. To pursuo the interesting discussion on 'relative speeds. If the grandmother with weak eye* and old ears who is unable to cross traffic proceeding at a rate of thirty miles an hour at a greater pace than two and a-half miles an hour, is killed, is her sin not more reprehensible in the eye of the law than that of tbe trained athlete who dashes between uncontrolled cars at a speed of one hundred yard* per ten seconds ? While the head i« quarrelling with the backbone and the feet are squabbling with the forehead, it is appropriate to mention that Mr. Mcllveney was once AN INVENTOR, police subinsnector in Auckland, and exhibited that superhuman energy for which he is noted, lie discovered by the perusal of an Act that many of the doors of hotel bars were in the wrong place, and. for a season, intending refreshers hurtled towards their favourite bostclrie* only to find the old familiar door bricked up and another yawning a few yards away. No one ever understood this extensive structural alteration of entrances to refreshment. Some believed that Bernard had signed the pledge and was making it more difficult to break it. but as not a single soul was debarred from the bar, and the only effect was to make unnatural entrances not* devised by the architect*, the achievement was not applauded as might have been hoped. The Commissioner of Police is a man of original ideas. It is understood be invented the shako his men are wearing in a single afternoon after having looked at the picture of a Waterloo veteran and tbe portrait of a Xew Zealand policeman of IS9Q. One striking difference between the shako of the Peninsular Wars and the shako of Mr. John Hop is that the former had a knob supported on a small ma»t growing out of the headpiece. Pica**. Bernard, can we have knobs?

Padercwski. the peerle*s pianist and preeminent patriot of Poland. t»f which he was Premier, annoyed at the rudeness of persons ~„.-„ „ "*" no ■«ri« r *d "*«• at one THANK YOU, of his Melbourne recitals. IGNACE! left the platform as a protest. A contemporarv leaps into tbe breach by referring to this as "the artistic temperament.** If the pardonable protest of a remarkable man and an international idol prevents boors from insulting players and the audience, he should have a monument in every theatre. "INineh" once had a picture showing Mr. and Mrs. Hogge-Piggott, of Pentonville, arriving in the stalls of Covent Garden just as tbe overture to "Lohengrin* , is being played, the audience being in rapt silence. As they rustle in, to the unspeakable injury of everybody, the man roars in a loud voice, "Thank heaven, we're in time!** It is not only Paderewski who has a right to l>e heard comfortably by the people who pav to hear him. The amateur who sings for the first time in an Auckland hall has an equal right to he heanl. and the audience to bear him. Abominalde behaviour such as Paderew. ski protested at i* common enough in Auckland. If stage managers forbade performer* to continue their items while the audience is gabbling and shuffling and eating peanuts, tho rudeness would cease. The aristocrats who make a wild exit while the National Anthem is being played could be immediatelv prevented from doing so if the musical director were instructed to announce before tbe opening bar. "All persons in the audience who arc not British tnav leave now."

The sight of Mr. Lloyd George swinging a golf club in the motion picture, The Golden Road," shows him to be very happy in the __, <Mka _,. M «. P* ,l he contributed vol"LG.'i COMPART, untarily to tbe lesson which tbe film imparts: A healthy body is essential to an acute mind. Posed specially. be hit* off splendidly. But the same picture features nudity—female nudity—in stressing the principle of which the British ex-Prime Minister proclaimed himself to be and showed himself as an example. That was all right until some wag, or wan. started the story round England that Mr.' Lloyd George was to be seen on tha screen among naked women. L.G. ia known to he a "sport,* , but that suggestion was too much to bear. He cabled instructions to Germany to have his act excised from tbe picture, evidently believing it a stroke of vengeance. Only waa he comforted when informed that his "stunt- was distinct in itself, and that the ladies had to do with other portions of the picture.