THE PASSING SHOW.

Auckland Star, Volume LVIII, Issue 46, 24 February 1927, Page 8

THE PASSING SHOW.

(By THE MAN A3OUT TOWN.) One- of the most remarkable sights during the wonderful local demonstrations of delight in the Duk<- j»rd Duchess of York was Grafton Bridge packed from end TORTOISE AND to end with orderly HARE. people. who, however. could orly move a vard a minute. Photographs of this crowded bridge show with particular clearness the warning board of the traffic authorities. "Speed limit. 10 miles pi>r hour." The people obeyed:

About the time that Macaulav's Xew Zealander stands upon a ruined arch of London Bridge to sketch the ruins of St. Paul's there will probably be a kauri THE FERN. forest in Shortland Street.

and the Mongolian inhabitants will be very likely chopping puriri posts !ti Emily Place. Despite man's art, Nature

strives to regain lu-r own. You know that the spores of ferns are gossamer light? Take a handful and blow it, and Nature will guide some of it to where she can tend it. * She blew the spore of an excellent fern Shortland Street. There in stony and concretv surroundings flourishes this " lustv plant I liousands pass it daily. How ma.n v, one wonders, see it ? How n.any. one also wonders, can imagine the inevitable time when Nature again takes charge of this civilisation, and tho places we know are as dead and silent as the cities of the Old World, crumbled into dust thousands of years before the first Briton clubbed his first wild boar. And in a little chink by the South British corner there thrives a lu>t\ weed. There is thought-seed even in a weed which |ier>ists despite the mvriad feet that pass along—and pass hence even as weeds do.

Rojal visits are often amusing when seen from the inside. Here is a true story of a tour made by the Prince of Waies in the

Midlands of England in A TALE OF 1023. His Roval HighTHE PRINCE, ness. complete with

attendant retinue, verv bored, and attendant Pressmen, still more bored, arrived, at the end of a very hard day's visiting, at a town in the Black Countrv, where the Mayor had prepared a long ceremonious address of welcome. The Prince was dogtired, and he whispered in the ear of Sir Godfrey Thomas, his equery, ''For sake, ask him to cut this outl" Sir Godfrey approached his Wuirhip very diplomatically iioin the lar side, and it was obvious that he had deli\ered the Princes message fairlv literally, lor the Mayor, lowering his sheets oi formidable typescript, spoke to the waiting multitude in this wi>e: "Ladies and gentlemen, by special request of the Prince ofWales I am going to cut it out, but you will be able to read my speech in the Smethwick papers."

People addicted to the consumption of ice cream will have noted with a shiver that i Wanganui purveyor of that delectable luxury manufactured it in condiTHE MILK tions of appalling dirt, THAT but they will naturally BARKED. console themselves with the knowledge that Auckland sellers of edibles rarely come to loggerheads with the Health Department. Occasionally, of course, in the past Eastern gentlemen have been discovered who ripened tropical ■ ruit in festering stables, and indeed under their own beds, and on rare occasions it has been shown that dairy produce used in tie manufacture of dainty luxuries has not been beyond reproach.

It is appropriate to again mention the •\ idence of a New Zealand health officer now no longer with us, who had examined sample? of tinned milk used in the making of lollies. The doctor told the Court: "I listened to the milk, and the Court, in dealing with the manufacturers so that they would no longer manufacture, understood.

An American Flying Corps officer says that " it is safer to fly than to play around the business end of a mule."' He adds that while only eight men THE MULE were killed from aefroWRANGLERS. planes in Missouri, eighty were kicked to death bv mules. The much travelled corporal to uhom these statistics were shown said.

"Sure thing!"' and mentioned the ease of iho Canadian Government mule. Four hardcase soldiers " selected " him. considering that from the shape of him and the way he talked with his ears he was about the toughest mule proposition to date. They taught him to I'iick in the sandhills. They considered that if ho could sting their best roughrider in heavv ground, what he would do on grass or in a circus ring would lick creation? The mule surprised even himself. Yes, sir! They took liiin t" a town where the crack buckjiniip rider lived, and hitched him to a fence. Ihc mule stood with his head down, innocent as a lamb. The four soldiers bet the crack rider fifty dollars he couldn t stav on him three minutes. The buster took up the bet, and the mule on hard ground pitched him in two bucks and a pig-root. So the four soldiers travelled that mule through Canada. He slung dozens of picked riders in every circus tent in the Dominion, and the men roped in dollars without end. One day at Moosejaw the challenge went forth. A little lady in riding trousers said, yes, she'd sure have a trv. They brought out the mule, put on the gear, and handed him to the girl. She kissed him 011 his wicked nose, and hopped up without touching the bridle. Then she prodded the outlaw in the ribs with her little heel, and he walked round the ring as tame as a hell wether. He never bucked again. The oldest soldier said to his three fellows: "She's cruelled our pitch! Ruined the goldarn firm!" And he was so angry that within a month he married her.

The partial destruction of an Auckland amusement building stirred the curiositv of the public, who flocked to it: and incidentally generously patronised WARNING those delights the fire left TO untouched. Thus from an HELENSVILLE. accident may some good come. They manage these things differently in America. Mount in the State of New York, is a dull little village. But recently when a dwelling house blew up with a terrific bang it was heard of in .Yew York city and elsewliere, and the village was definitely put on the map. Two delighted residents rushed to the authorities to acknowledge that they personally had blown up their house in order to attract "notice to Mount Ivy. It is a mercy that these hectic American methods have not yet attracted the citizens of Helensville. BONNIE LIS'BETH. 0 saw ye bonnie Lis'beth As she gaed o'er the border ? She's gane, like Alexander, To spread her conquests farther. To see her is to love her. Ami love but her for ever: lor Nature made her what -he i And ne'er made sic anither! Thou art a queen, fair Lis'beth. rhy subjects we. before thee: Thou art divine, fair Lis'beth. Ihe hearts o men adore thee. With apologies to the memory of R. Burn-. —J.H. A,