LAUGH WITH ME.
dORGE MOZART, the CWebrated I • Comediwu) j I
humorous selections.
•What's that ?" queried the dyspeptic I U he gazed at his plata. I eir," said the waiter, with his I on the orchestra, "is a bit of the I '^fikado.'" * "Here goes the most careful man on gaid the postman. "Every time Ijjj sends his wife a kiss he registers the ?&**•" * : Master of Hobs* (in Irritable mood)i ; Who laid the breakfaat this mom- ; servant: I did, if you plaze, son. . jfn ft—barring the eggs. 5 :sßrs4 waiteri Did that Arizona ranch- : giva y Oll a tip? t. Second waiter i Not 'arft He said if ll didn't step lively he'd blow off my rfjhiskei's with his revolver. P.Jew (just struck on the neck by a ball) s That vill cost yon ten pound, jrata golfers Fore! Fore! » Veil, ve'll make it that then. g .' -N-ymphs" —(Channel ewim- ; piers). Small boy (leaving tea party^: Lift | -an£, don't bend me! 3 \ "Mine's on unhappy lot," quoth the f tiad-faced individual. "I live on the of society. Yon see, I'm a hairfdrestwt" U a man kissed yon on one fifeeek, would yon turn the other T 5= Graciat I should try, but my month Sisigfct got in the way. I "Tlr ■ ■ Well, I've never had a mediexam, before without being asked If : 3 drink. 'f Doctor* Oh! I saw your golf clubs in -•.the hall as I came in. : Magistrate: Have you anything to :sar? Woman: Nothing, sir. Magistrate: What! A woman with to say. You must be remanded Tior medical examination. Mrs. Niggs: Some wives spend all their money on their backs. Mr. Niggs: From what I saw of Mrs. Atora's at the ball the other night, she must have a nice little sum by her. No pennies have been struck at the Mint sine® 1922. For this act of mercy | all "coppers" offer sincere thanks. I Reveller: Now tell me, what Is the 1 most musical train from this station! | Porter: The 1.58. | Reveller: How's that! Porter« It's the two to two to ' Tooting. Educated son of Nouveau Riche: Pop, ' why do you always eat your peas with .a knife? 1 Pop: 'Cause, sonnie, it always gives a h'edge to my h'appetite. Honeymoon Fred (on emerging from i railway tunnel): I missed your lips, : darling, that time, but your angelic i hair tasted almost as sweet. I Bride (looking hard at confused man ' thick beard in opposite corner): ' Are you quite sure, lovey ? ' ! • "Mrs. Macroarer has left her husband "! ' "Why ?" ; ■ "Because she was jealous of his loud j 1 speaker."
Permanent link to this item
https://paperspast.natlib.govt.nz/newspapers/AS19270219.2.236
Bibliographic details
Auckland Star, Volume LVIII, Issue 42, 19 February 1927, Page 33
Word Count
432LAUGH WITH ME. Auckland Star, Volume LVIII, Issue 42, 19 February 1927, Page 33
Using This Item
Stuff Ltd is the copyright owner for the Auckland Star. You can reproduce in-copyright material from this newspaper for non-commercial use under a Creative Commons BY-NC-SA 3.0 New Zealand licence. This newspaper is not available for commercial use without the consent of Stuff Ltd. For advice on reproduction of out-of-copyright material from this newspaper, please refer to the Copyright guide.
Acknowledgements
This newspaper was digitised in partnership with Auckland Libraries.