LAUGH WITH ME.

Auckland Star, Volume LVIII, Issue 42, 19 February 1927, Page 33

LAUGH WITH ME.

dORGE MOZART, the CWebrated I • Comediwu) j I

humorous selections.

•What's that ?" queried the dyspeptic I U he gazed at his plata. I eir," said the waiter, with his I on the orchestra, "is a bit of the I '^fikado.'" * "Here goes the most careful man on gaid the postman. "Every time Ijjj sends his wife a kiss he registers the ?&**•" * : Master of Hobs* (in Irritable mood)i ; Who laid the breakfaat this mom- ; servant: I did, if you plaze, son. . jfn ft—barring the eggs. 5 :sßrs4 waiteri Did that Arizona ranch- : giva y Oll a tip? t. Second waiter i Not 'arft He said if ll didn't step lively he'd blow off my rfjhiskei's with his revolver. P.Jew (just struck on the neck by a ball) s That vill cost yon ten pound, jrata golfers Fore! Fore! » Veil, ve'll make it that then. g .' -N-ymphs" —(Channel ewim- ; piers). Small boy (leaving tea party^: Lift | -an£, don't bend me! 3 \ "Mine's on unhappy lot," quoth the f tiad-faced individual. "I live on the of society. Yon see, I'm a hairfdrestwt" U a man kissed yon on one fifeeek, would yon turn the other T 5= Graciat I should try, but my month Sisigfct got in the way. I "Tlr ■ ■ Well, I've never had a mediexam, before without being asked If : 3 drink. 'f Doctor* Oh! I saw your golf clubs in -•.the hall as I came in. : Magistrate: Have you anything to :sar? Woman: Nothing, sir. Magistrate: What! A woman with to say. You must be remanded Tior medical examination. Mrs. Niggs: Some wives spend all their money on their backs. Mr. Niggs: From what I saw of Mrs. Atora's at the ball the other night, she must have a nice little sum by her. No pennies have been struck at the Mint sine® 1922. For this act of mercy | all "coppers" offer sincere thanks. I Reveller: Now tell me, what Is the 1 most musical train from this station! | Porter: The 1.58. | Reveller: How's that! Porter« It's the two to two to ' Tooting. Educated son of Nouveau Riche: Pop, ' why do you always eat your peas with .a knife? 1 Pop: 'Cause, sonnie, it always gives a h'edge to my h'appetite. Honeymoon Fred (on emerging from i railway tunnel): I missed your lips, : darling, that time, but your angelic i hair tasted almost as sweet. I Bride (looking hard at confused man ' thick beard in opposite corner): ' Are you quite sure, lovey ? ' ! • "Mrs. Macroarer has left her husband "! ' "Why ?" ; ■ "Because she was jealous of his loud j 1 speaker."