THE PASSING SHOW.

Auckland Star, Volume LVIII, Issue 41, 18 February 1927, Page 6

THE PASSING SHOW.

(By THE MAN ABOUT TOWN.)

No Arctic condition* were to he observed in Auckland yesterday. A man from the Equator showed a distinct bead of perspiration upon his yellow hron. FEMIIVINE Many men. greatly daring. FASHIONS. even opened their «ai<tlnut* to the hiwa of heaven. Fat people (anted mellifluous] v, and thin people agreed. It may strain credibility to (aelieve that several women were, to be seen in half an hour s walk swathed from neck to knee in winter fur*. Ladies of a certain type, having achieved a wealth of rabbit skins at a large price, consider it false economy to leave them at home on a tropical day. Observe that the summer ladies in the winter furs do not carry this savage fashion to its logical conclusion. A woman in a heavy fur on a summer day should complete the charming picture by wearing nice fur legging* and snow boots. The incongruity of gossamer stockings and a two-ounce dress of crepe dc chine worn with fourteen pounds of rabbit fur commercialised to resemble some other animal s coat is one of the inexplicable things of our particular civilisation. One can imagine the ladies waiting for the first hard frost in order to appear bedight in bathing togs. l"arl\ Ic's dictum on his fellow men that, they are "mostly fools" is frequently borne out. Hamilton man who has been fined a trifle f«»r making a lot SUCKER from fortune telling EVERY MINUTE, would perfectly agree with the sage of Chelsea. The Americans have a saying that " there is a sucker l»orii every minute," but this is a conservative estimate. The people who are «*dv lo hand over their hard-earned money to vampires of every kind exist in swathes— one fool down the other up with his wages held out to the swindler. Years ago there was a dear old gentleman in a New Zealand town who called himself a psychomctrist. Hs looked most respectable. He had a venerable white beard and turned his eyes up in frequent prayer. He prescribed for absent people who were gravely (even mortally) ill. All the anxious relative bad to do was to take something the patient bad worn or <tmich better) a lock of his hair, and Mr. X. would tell tht relative all a Unit it. A journalist had an old friend almost worn out. The scribe went to the psychomctrist. The " psv " etc. required a lock of hair. It was given to him. Ms lay with the lock of hair on bis sweet old venerable brow, gave some convulsive kicks, had an alleged trance, gravely rose from his sofa, and began his patter." He described the disease and prescribed the cure, the caller handed tip his five shillings, taking his friend's lock of hair with him. The friend, by I lie way. was « goatskin mat that had lain on the dining room hearth for many years. Citizen* who are able to fill a hollow tooth with fi«h for a shilling are interested in the occasionally advanced theory that the fishing grounds of AuckFISH OH! laud are Wing depleted. When the Romans invaded Britain they feared the herring crop might be wiped out. Many millions of people in Britain have been eating them ever since, and incidentally fill up on maiiy tons of other fish. Faintly curious people w-alking down Auckland wharves observing piscatorial wars in progress may have noticed that there are about three thousand small fish to the square yard. Any school child will tell you the area of fishing waters available "to the relatively small population of this town, and the anxious eater, fearing Ashless Fridays in the future, might compute the possible annual return from a mere strip of the Pacific—say, three or four million acres. Anxious folk, too, have volunteered the opinion that as several Americans are catching sharks and other "game" fish, it is only a question of time before it will he impossible to get a game fish to haul a launch for eight hours and drown himself. People who object to dogs on chains (as they have a j»erfect right to do) will not object to swordtish on lines, because l«eing dragged by a giant animal through the water with a fine large jagged book in his gullet is " sport." Any shark fisher who has happened to catch a ladv shark about to further populate the deep will agree that there arc several sharks available for future use. And some liave fame thrust nj»on them. For instance, a proud breeder of .Jersey cows has called his latest dairy queen "Rosina ' Btickmann." The habit WHAT'S IN A of awarding famous NAME? names to domestic animals is. of course, meant to lie complimentary, and half the hulls a:«d rams and Shire horses have their names taken from the peerage. Lady Jellicoe when in' New Zealand took great interest in farming, and therefore during the reign of the great admiral a pig breeder christened one of his | very l»cst " Ladv .lellicoe."' The Corporal, in mentioning these little matters to M.A.T.. recalls the case of the i soldier whose service in the army was made obnoxious by a non-com., who harassed the | poor wretch to such an extent that life was a burden to him. However, everything com »s to an end. and so did the man's service. »n civil life he became a dog fancier, and amon*» his dogs was a mongrel pup of immense ugl.ness and bad temper. The ex-Tommy at onoe christened him " The Corporal" and kicked him whenever he remembered the indignities he had suffered from that hated non-com. One of the queerest words c\er admitted to the Press, and which is used only in New Zealand, is "Knglandcr" for describing an Englishman. It has perTHE meafcd the New Zealand PHILOLOGISTS. Press, and the wonder is that the scribes don't go the whole Herman hog and say " Englanderin."' This inexplicable variation of'an ancient word might be augmented by calling a Scot a " Scotlander " and an Irishman an " Irelander " and a man from Wales a " Waleser." By slow degrees we could get the New Zealand Press to call a Frenchman a " Francer." A gentleman of proved veracity (he is in the advertising trade) writes: The following fish story comes from Hamarama in the Rotorua district, and, STRANGER were its credentials not of THAN FICTION, the highest order, it would have been politely referred to its starting point. Two ladies who had idly fished from a small suspension bridge on several successive mornings had cast covetous eyes as well as many delectable inducements at one splendid trout, which had, alas! scornfully refused all their hook laden presents, but had, with rare discernment, gulped all their innocent offerings. This fish, about three pounds in weight, delighted to lurk under a ledge of bank, letting the stream softly push it back a few yards, when it would regain its old position by a few lazv flicks of its tail. Nothing could tempt him if it had the suspicion of a trick about it. The ladies paid prolonged attention to this fish without success, until finally one of them, becoming- ini{>atient and resentful, climbed to the stream edge, and, quietly submerging her rod, used it as a harpoon, intending to give Mr. Trout one in the midriff just to go on with. Her astonishment was profound when the trout seized the end of the rod, and, apparently in sheer tciiijier. violently shook it backwards and forwards. Having administered this sound corrective, it resumed its old position under the bank.