AROUND THE TEA TABLE.

Auckland Star, Volume LVIII, Issue 8, 11 January 1927, Page 17

AROUND THE TEA TABLE.

I MATTERS OF GENERAL INTEREST. I <By SHIRLEY.. I \oull be glad now the rush time is j over!" But the Melbourne lady assistant, when thus addressed early in 1027, looked and spoke contradiction. "Xot a bit of it. J There's beginning now the second rash— j people rushing back, I mean, wanting their presents exchanged. Xo, madam, I know it was boug.it here; but, I'm sorry, we can't exchange it." And the other wei— off, wailing, because green ne'er did suit her, anil why hadn't her j friend thought of that, and what wae the good of the scarf in consequence • * • . In Xe.v Zealand, we are either more placid, or more sure of our complexions; for 1 hear nothing of this second rush time. * • • . We are hearing a good deal lately of Behaviourism. Some explain it as" the science which shows why we run awav front lions—you would think,' in your pimple way, it is because the lion is bigger than we are, and also i-s carnivorous. But it seems that our running away is really due to some phoDia put in our minds when young. Others state that Behaviourism i« that which enables animals to acquire new and unexpected instincts owing to environment. In that case, this seems the right word to apply to that C'hrLstehurch cat which, its kind not being permitted in the trams of that city, has evolved a new instinct for finding its way—not merely back to the old home, as any ordinary unbehaviouristic cat can well do—but to the new one, if, in its initial it has fled from that unfamiliar dwelling place.

In this case, the cat was taken to the new home in the carrier's cart because the law does not permit a Christchurch feline to entfer a tram, even clad in a string as has been attempted. It cannot go, that is to say. unless the tram inspector at headquarters has seen the animal and taken a fancy to it, and, as it cannot reach headquarters except in a tram, this seems to be difficult. So the cat travelled by cart, and arrived at its new abode, fled back to its old resort. So far, this is according to tradition. Behavourism, however, stepped in when the cat returned to it£ new home of its own accord, responding to new conditions evidently realising • that the tram could not take it, even in its owner's arms, that the cart had departed, and that it must suit itself to environment.

Anyway, its owners relate the story with pride, though their explanation is that this cat really does prefer people to places—though why, in any case, the animal should be so much blamed for preferring "places to people," I do not know. After all, it is a form ot patriotism.

Less popularity appertains to the dogs of a certain Auckland seaside resort, who are not permitted in the sea. Visitors are shown a barrier near the beach, beyond which they must not cross. As I they cannot realise this, not as yet behaviouristic—they are locked up in yards, causing the inhibitants to say that they would prefer they were allowed to roam on a thousand beaches than keep on with that awful racket. Others, however, disagree with thia statement. They say—ten thousand beaches. Sometimes "the sea, the blue lone sea, hath one," as the poet puts it, but if the authorities are about, the canine swimmer may find himself going down that same sea in a cage.

Then there are the mosquitoes —reported to be very bad at Taupo—and beginning their "something attempted, something done" little ways in Auckland. It is said that they will not .attack human beings that have given up sugar and salt, but my own belief is that the average mosquito is not narrow-minded in that way. He may have had those bigoted notions in the past, but toleration, toleration, toleration is now hie slogan. Hie? I should say her, for it is pointed out that the he mosquito is a strict vegetarian, only 'lie female being a biter. Judging by the skins of holiday makers, one must believe that there are enough surplus females in the ant world to disturb an insect Mussolini—if such exists.

One hears a good deal about that great man's drive agiinst bachelors, but what of himself? There must be a Mrs. Museolini, but gossip seems to be silent about her. She is not mentioned as being in that apid day of his when lie doesn't care for '"eats," and when his brother isn't always honoured by being invited to his breakfast table boasting one solitary glass of milk. Is Mrs. Mussolini ever honoured, or ie she a hi«sbeen, and is his widowerhood the reason why widowers are exempted, illogically, if kindly, from the special taxation? If there is a Mrs. Mussolini, however, what does she think of all this business? Has the man no mother or female relative to explain him, and make liiin seem a little more human?

Taxes on bachelors, I think, would not be much considered in Adelaide, for a lost bachelor means a lost spinster, and the spinster factory-worker, according to one authority, often earns a little more than her own father. Two rounds a week Ls a good beginning, and four or five may be attained to. So the Adelaide father isn't asking " Why don't the men propose," according to a time-old song, but very much hoping they won't. And he doesn't write letters to the papers, inquiring why girls crowd into smoking carriages, coming home from work. They can crowd. So long as they bring those pay envelopes home, and perhaps treat Dad sometimes to a good cigar. There is nothing so erratic as factory women workers' pay according to the various Australian states. In one place she may make enough to achieve, with care, a little runabout; while in another she is almost back to the shawl and clogs condition of her like in the Homeland. All of which adds to the excitement of life.

In the Colonies, what is the proportion sold of mechanical piano players to pianos? Eighty-five to fifteen is the answer. Tim* was when the piano, stumbled over by the "daughter of the house," was a kind of shrine, round which the family circle, a? it was called, gathered of an evening. These were the simple old days

to which our Lot's wives—male and female—are always looking back. Yet the "piano fortey," when it first came in, was supposed to be the devil's own instrument—the lure of which would keep ,girLs from learning to cook and wash, while the bulwarks of society broke down to the tune of "The Maiden's Prayer." However, society is always falling down over something or other, and nobodv seems to reflect that, if as bad as usually depicted that is the best thing it can do with itself.