THE PASSING SHOW.

Auckland Star, Volume LVII, Issue 301, 20 December 1926, Page 6

THE PASSING SHOW.

— g: (By THE MAN ABOTJT TOWK.p

A MILIEU. Mr. Coates. spep.king after the pictur, had been shown, said: "I am delighted to have been a privileged witness of this first venture by the producers to use ( New Zealand as the milieu of * fib* , production. ' I like your littie England, I'll come a-rain some day; t And teach you of the Empire, , And how to work and play. I'll come encore mes beaux "ami. ' Across the trackless sea. 1 I come con amore little one Mens sano corpore '. I have a forte for doing things^ Ma foi! l*n peu milieu. For I'm a full-blown LL.D, And take le bon gateau I And magna est praevaleblt Mensa mensae mensem, 1 Et propter hoe. etcetera. •' * Der Kaiser und Potsdam I Je la connais this England, " "" ; Ich kenne sic too true! La conosco ranch better now • Since I have crossed the blue. Vive Angleterre! I love her so "Who rules the trackless sea, My milieu is advice to her From Coates the LL,D. . ' VODKA ONE. In a just-out Penris-vlvairhut ■ magazine that semi-deified American humorist. Will Rogers, in an open letter to his President, discourses inter alia, on the perils that lurk in the Russian national drink vodka, which he sampled in a Paris restaurant run by an ex-Grand Duke from Moscow. After one drink of this apparently innocent fluid Mr. Rogers said he thought someone had loaded hint up with molten lead, and, when ha recovered, he gave forth to the world his notion of the prescription, which included old potato pealings, Russian boots, giant powder and bombs chopped up in *rine***_r. The Pa. man's experience reminds an Aucklander of one of his own. Long years ago there anchored in the Waitemata a big Russian steam frigate called the Djighit, on a training voyage round the world. The Aucklander, who wai a newspaper man, went off in a waterman's boat in pursuance of his calling to interview the captain, and so on, about the ship and the voyage from Valparaiso. The great whiskered officers entertained their youthful visitor in the wardroom, where they were feasting lusciously on strawberries just off from the shore, taking in stalks, leaves and all. Ther produced a bottle of something that looked just like water; and the reporter, • talcing it for perhaps some Russian brand - of lemonade, got outside of enough for. two moujiks or dhroskys before he real*. -, ised it was liquid dynamite. The explo» v sive sensation gave place to exceeding, warmth about the heart, which was succeeded by a feeling of celestial happiness and irresistible desire to sing, accompanied, by a remarkably complete collapse of the legs. Brain, fortunately being fairly. 'f clear, an enthusiastic report was written in the wardroom, with the guiding hand of the navigating lieutenant, and was "" dispatched ashore by that hospitable officer. The Djighit was a glorious ship,. that much is distincly remembered- But somehow, though that writer-man has sampled many strange drinks since those ;; youthful days, he has never pined to * imbibe vodka again. He contents himself with recommending it to his friend* in search of a new kind of bite. " ■-*'{ ROYAL CHRISTMAS CHEER. '" The pious cablegrammer, appealing to colonial sentiment, and believing no doubt that voluntary drought affects this community, tells us what the royal family will eat for Christmas, and unctuously adds: "Wine is not mentioned." If royalty has gone dry, it itcertainly within recent years. Although the Victorian age was mora straightlaeed than "that which has succeeded it, the great Queen did not expect to have to apologise for taking a : bedtime tot of Irish whisky, and taking other alcoholic drinks in royal modera- ' tion. King Edward had the reputation • of being a bon vivant, but the fierce light that beats on a throne certainly" ' magnified this phase of the greatest royal diplomat's character. Those wh_ remember the present King when, as Duke of York, he came to New Zealand, 1 will also remember that he was not *,'■ total abstainer. We have a authoritative statement that the Prineer of Wales helped himself to a tankard of i beer in a Stepney hotel, and certainly when H.R.H. had finished the royal tour in which he included New Zealand. th_ proprietors of a brand of whisky leapt into the advertising market with a soul*, ful declaration that H.R.H. alwaya called for their brand. Indeed, ardent loyalists for some tima refused to absorb any other than that which had gained theroyal favour. It is well known that the Qneen sternly deprecates any kind of excess, and it is remarkable that many of her relatives, the Tecks, are total abstainers. LUCK. Somebody someday will explain the psychology of luck." The speeding car shaves past one man by a whisker, and reaps another one fully. It all depends on the point of view" which is the lucky one. A man who doesn't know which end of a horse to put the bridle on invests.a pound because of the colours of the jockey's jacket, and reaps a pocketful, while "a man who knows horses, hide, hoof and forelock puts his "shirt" on a certainty, and the horse falls dead. Yesterday numerous young men fished off Rangitoto. Two men in a dinghy had the same kind and length of line, the same depth of sinker, and the same good ripe bait reaped from a departed mullet They threw their lines in on the same side, and they must have intermingled with the current And yet one man . caught sixty schnapper, and the other caught three. The man who caught - three is a more alert and interested fisherman than the one who caught sixty, who got exceedingly tired dragging large weights of fish over the gunwale. THE DOCTOR'S PRESCRIPTION. Many a life hag been saved by persons with slight medical knowledge or a little common sense. Schoolmasters especially are expected to be adept in such measures as may be useful until the doctor comes, and, of course, they can take temperatures, apply torniquets, put iodine on abrasions, and so forth. Not so long ago a boy in class in-a secondary school was "taken suddenly ill, and exhibited feverish symptoms.' The form master had him removed to* , the casualty bed, and took his tempera- ;: ture. He was absolutely horrified at *a_ he thou -' nt was the correct reading: of the thermometer to find that it regis* tered a temperature of 120. He rushed ■. to the telephone, and called the doctor.; . 'What do you say the bov"s temperature is?" asked the" calm, cold \oice of . Bones. ~ - ;.. : "One hundred and twenty:"' panted the excited domine. -2~r& 'Tou don't want me, - ' moaned .-*• . medico, in a tired voice. "Send for Hi\; ifire brigade!" /. f