JOVIAL JUDGES.

Auckland Star, Volume LVII, Issue 276, 20 November 1926, Page 21

JOVIAL JUDGES.

FUN FROM THE BENCH. f h SOME HUMOROUS SALLIES. 1 In English games the ace is the highest f card and not the joker, and so it should , be on the Bench. It has been rumoured . of some of our more jovial judges that ! they acquired a habit of reading the . pleadings and preparing a bon mot or ' quotation or anecdote to fit the case, and waited patiently on the Bench watching ' for a cue, writes his Honor Judge Parry. J This is against all rules. A judge's joke, if he makes one, should not be pre- ' meditated. When Mr. Justice Bigham was trying a case about a charter-party relating to ] a cargo of donkeys for South Africa, and Mr. Joseph Walton informed him that his friend Mr. Bray, K.C., appeared for the defendants, the judge was well within the law to ask: "Which of the donkeys does Mr. Bray represent?" Mr. Justice T/tiy never made an irrelevant joke in his life, but he intervened with many witty and useful interruptions that 'made for brevity. As when a learned and pompons counsel in a dull trade case about sacks and bags was addressing the Court at great length and said: "Then, my Lord, we come to the question of the bags; and here I must remind your Lordship that there are many kinds of bags; they might have been full bags, or half full bags, or empty hags " "Or windbags," interjected the learned judge in a gloomy voice. Mr. Justice Wightman put the same thought in a kinder but not less amusing form to Mr. Ribton, who had been pounding away with a hopeless argument, repeating himself to the third or fourth iteration. "Really, Mr. Ribton," interrupted the judge at last, with a weary sigh, "you know you've said that before." "Have I, my Lord? lam very sorry. 1 quite forgot it." "Don't apologise," said the mild old judge, with patient resignation. "I forgive you—for it was a very Jong time ago." Judge who Hated Moustaches. Commissioner Kerr, a very able but eccentric judge, hated to see counsel before him wearing a moustache. "How can I hear you, sir," he shouted to an offender who appeared with a beard and a moustache, "how can I hear if you cover up your muzzle like a terrier dog?" "Well, I'd rather be an English terrier than a Scotch cur," was the unexpected reply. But to jest at the expense of those who cannot answer back is seldom fair dealing. Mr. Justice Maule was a man of subtle irony and wit, but he could not restraiu the expression of it even at most inopportune moments. A prisoner tried before Maule for murder and found guilty was asked in the usual way why sentence should not be passed upon- him. He raised his hand to heaven with. a.dramatic gesture and called out: "May God strike mc dead if I dtidiit!" " . . There .was a hushed silence. The spectators gazed at the prisoner in hor■l ror. Maule stared in front of him and waited for several moments. At length he coughed, and in his thin, dry voice, as if dealing with some legal point in the case, said: "Prisoner at the Bar, as Providence has not seen fit to interfere in your case, it now becomes my duty to pronounce upon you the sentence of death." Cruel Jests. Robert Maequeen, Lord Braxfield, a Scotch Judge of the eighteenth century, was far worse than Maule himself, or' even Jeffreys, in the insulting jests he uttered on the Bench. One of his cruel witty sayings was made to an eloquent prisoner whose speech from the dock he praised without stint, and when the poor wretch imagined a lenient sentence would follow, he wound up with the remark: "Ye're a verra clever chiel, mon, but ye wad be nane the waur o' a hanging," and proceeded to sentence him to death. . These sayings are without excuse. But Sir Thomas More's jest at the expense of a defendant who had despoiled a widow of her money is, I think, well within the limits of judicial humour. The gentleman asked Sir Thomas for time to liquidate the debt, saying: "I hope your Lordship will grant mc a long day to pay it." "I will grant your motion," replied the Lord Chancellor, pleasantly. "Mon- . day next is Sfc. Barnabas' Day, which is the- longest in the year. Pay your debt- to the widow that day or I will commit you to the Fleet Prison."