TO RAISE A SMILE.

Auckland Star, Volume 246, Issue 246, 16 October 1926, Page 25

TO RAISE A SMILE.

Telegram to friend: "Washout on line. cannot come." Reply: "Come anyway; borrow a shirt!" ' Mplly: "Can you remember Kimj JSpjjyard, Grandpa?'? Grandpa: "Ijfes, dear. ¥qu spe, I am a lot older than you." Mplly: "How much older must I ba before I can remember him. Grandpa?* Mistress of the house: "I am a woman of fgw words. If I beckon with my handj that means -Ppme."' ■The new servant: "That suits muni! I'm also a woman of few words. If I shake my head it nipans 'I'm npij cpming.'" They had lost their -way in their nev* and expensive car. ''There's a sign, dear," she said to her husband, who go| out pf the .car and turned the flashlight on tj»e poard. "Are we on the right road?'' she asked. He' read: fTp tllf> pQprhpuse.'' "¥es," he answered, ">ye ? re on th<§ fight road and wp didn't J*ripw ih" The schoolmaster ashed the pupils:' "Suppose, in a family the mother has five children, anjd only four pota|oe| between them. ijpw, she wants tp giya every one an equal share. What is she going to dp?" Silence reigned in the room. Everybody thought very hard till a practical little boy stood up and answered, "Mash 'em, sir!" Curator of Museum (to visitor): '-'And we have a chair here, sir, that belonged to Louis Cross-Eye." "Oh." said the visitor. "Who was he?" "One of them Kings of France, sir." "There must be some mistake. Show 7 mc the chair, please!" "There it is, said the old man, pointing to the ticket inscribed: "Once the I property of Louis XI."