GLIMERICKS.

Auckland Star, Volume LVII, Issue 204, 28 August 1926, Page 22

GLIMERICKS.

Thig week's collection of glimericks was characterised more by quantity than quality. The number kept up, but some of the verse-makere did not adhere to the five-line form. The best of the bunch wa3 the following' from an anonymous correspondent living in the wilds of Devonport: A fellow from fair . . . (a New Zealand city) Pirouetted upon a ... (tropical fruit) He slid from . . . (a seaside suburb) To Queen Street they . . . (explain) Now greater than Coatee ie his ... (power—Maori form)

To the Point. The young mistress of the hOT* entered the kitchen, carrying heW" with great dignity. She had come to call the cook to account. "Jane," she said, "I must insist th» you have less company in the kitchen. Last night I was kept awake by «• uproarious laughter of one of y<) o, women friends." „. "Yes, mum," said Jane, cheerfully. * know; but she couldn't help it, W&I was telling her how you tried to lfl** , a cake yesterday morning." Modern Methods. A little boy, who had lived in London all his life, "was invited by a distant relation to spend a week-end in "Iβ country. All his friends complimented him P» his luck, but the boy himself was not at all happy at the thought, and »• refused. . Coaxing, argument, pleading, W* promises of untold wonders, left n W cold. "No country for mc," was &» ultimatum. "But why not?' , aske<l his father "Because"," replied the son. got thrashing machines down there, »? it's quite bad enough hero when rt* done by hand!' . Much Ado About Nothing. Mither: Pit the oaunal oot, Johnnie, an' then pit oot the dug an' gang tae yer bed, like a quid laddie. Johnnie (the spoiled and only): If A pit oot the caunal the dug'll no gang oot. Hither: Weel, pit oot the dug first, and then pit oot the caunal. Johnnie: If A pit oot the dug the wnn'll blaw the caunal oot, an . Am needn't tae tak' aff ma claes. f Mither: Then gang oot yersel , »n whustle the dug oot. All keep the caunal frae gaun oot, an' ye can pit it oot yersel' whin ye've taen yer claes an. Johnnie: Ay, bit All be needn a^cujj o' tea in my bed the morn for doe'n %• that. Mither: A weel, we'll see, ma la*|(ft maybe, if ye're clever aboot H. _ _.'