RANDOM SHOTS

Auckland Star, Volume LVII, Issue 144, 19 June 1926, Page 22

RANDOM SHOTS

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j Another French Ministry has resigned. I It's a wise Frenchman who knows his own Premier. Cabinet declined to broadcast the Governor's Speech. Now that we've tried to read it we know why. Statisticians compute that Americans spent 90,000,000 dollars for chewing gum in 1925.—New version of the old proverb, "A stitch in time saves nine." "A chew in time spends ninety millions.". Critics complain that the 32 runs of the first Teßt match cost £100 per run. Cricket runs into money all right, but surely if there's an equivalent of thirtytwo centuries in a match without the loss of a wicket it's worth something. I see somebody has found tin in Tasmania. Lucky man; I've been looking for tin there at 5/4 a look for years and years, but the only thing I ever found was a lengthy list of prize-winners, in which my number did not appear. Have you ever noticed the dates on the magazines in the dentists' waiting rooms? Nothing published since the war is allowed the right of entry. I suppose the big idea is to impress upon the suffering patients the length of time the operator has been in the business. _ Krishnamurti, the Theosophical MesBiah, is to take up his residence in Scotland.—l suppose there couldn't be a better place to preach the doctrine of reincarnation than the land of the "kilt." In analysing the handwriting of George Bernard Shaw, an expert said | that it showed a desire for personal j self-assertion and indicated that its j owner was always on the lookout for lan opportunity to apply pressure G. B. S. is undoubtedly annoyed that he did not find this out for himself and say so personally. The London "Evening News" discloses that at the Liberal candidates' meeting it was reported that a Liberal peer had offered to contribute £1.000,000 to the Liberal party funds on the condition that Mr. Lloyd George would no j longer be associated with the party. — j The Liberal peer in question evidently I believes in Liberalism una'lloyd." It's a million to one though that the little Welshman will reckon that it's not enough. It's his party anyway. A good story is told of one of Wellington's leading bookmakers in the days when it was not against the law of the land to conduct'such a business. The bookmaker was in one of the city hotels enjoying liquid refreshment, says an exchange, when he was accosted by an individual who requested to know what the price of so-and-so was for the double, mentioning two outsiders for the races in question. "Oh, two hundred to two bob," was the facetious reply, whereupon the florin was spun upon the counter and the wager was booked. Came race day, and, as luck would have it, both the outsiders rolled home. Going down to the hostelry to meet the client, the bookmaker paid out like a good sport, and then said "Well, aren't you going to twist it for the boys on the strength of your win?" "Why should I shout for you?" was the rejoinder. "You didn't turn it on when I gave you the two bob." What are the women coming to' The principal of a London, girls' school says that mother's strong language is now almost as bad as father's, and this is having a serious effect on the girl's speech. Tet, she adds, the sixth standard girl is delightful. It seems that they are putting the blame on grandmother. Poor old grannie is accused of forsaking the armchair, the Bible, and her knitting, but cries aloud, instead, for betting tips and dance favours, with the 'result that the children of to-day are j "almost grown-up from the cradle." One hopes there is no relaxation in the gamming laws, or if we continue to progress :in this manner an adult better will have I very little chance of getting near the |totalisator at Ellerslie. Soon our dance I halls will be crowded with precocious jazzcrs, while "first nighters" at the I theatres will be men and women of five ! and six years. But this matter of strong language is really serious. Imagine what will happen when young Newly Wed comes home asking why the dash his dinner isn't ready, and little wife asks him why the blank he drinks! Marriage at 12 and divorce at 13 may become the common rule. WHITE COLLAR JOBS. j A New York cable says that John Andrus, the multi-millionaire manufacturer, declares that nine of every ten college graduates fail to succeed in life because there are too many men for the white collar jobs. He advised young men to become mechanics and forget all about their "foolish college education." If you can choose a lifetime avocation That suits the powers of your hand and brain; If yon can wangle stylish education Whose worldly wisdom makes your pathway plain; If you can swat those business economics Which gonpe the nimble shillings from the mob; Your worries won't be clothes or gas tronomics— You'll wear a linen collar on your Job. If tn the world of merchandise or banking, Yon seek rewards of acumen or skill; If your finance will Justify your swanking. That when you're dead they _ quarrel o'er your will; If you can multiply your vast possessions, To be the envy of each lesser snob; Your linen wUI proclaim your prime obsessions— You'U wear a snowy coUar on your Job. If Fate should Indicate some lofty mission, Where warring factions wordy battles ! wage; llf parson, actor,' lawyer, politician. I Your clothing most conform to Fashion's page; If in the city—grocer, chemist, draper, Or barber, reaping haif-a-crown a "bob," ; They'd put vonr portrait In the daily paper i Unless yon wore a collar on your Job. If yon thus hear the call of high Ambition, To Uve a life above the common herd; If you're prepared to face fierce competition, And make Success tbe dominating word; You'll wear a collar—white as snow In : wtoter— ! Which yet will put the furrows in your brsw, Because you'll often try to "work a schlfnter," To run .a laundry contract with a Chow. If Independence of a boss who fires yon, Is that bright star by which your hopes are buoyed; If not afraid of any work" that tires you, So long as yon are usefully employed; If you're content to get the honest dollar | From faithful service, honest sweat and : dirt, You'll break the slavish bondage of the collar, I And proudly wear the good old flannel shirt. 1 <-E. A.