RANDOM RECOLLECTIONS.

Auckland Star, Volume LVII, Issue 96, 24 April 1926, Page 21

RANDOM RECOLLECTIONS.

MAJOR MUSKETT.

rßy J. McCOMBIE.)

After the Maori War, at one of the chief centres of population in the North Island, there was congregated a mixed lot of discharged militia officers, who seemed to live on the very, aroma of having once been the leaders of men in the struggle with the Maoris. .It was customary for these officers to assemble in strong force at a pertain hotel; where they used to swop ideas about their respective achievements, and wprdy battles were of frequent occurrence. Here, one day, they had an argument about the celebrated flght Tat Pukete Kauri, where the Maoris measured their tomahawks against the soldiers' bayonets, andthediscussion waxedyerywarm on the subject. At last an unassuming stranger, who had been listening patiently to "the various contentions,! said; "Excuse mc, gentlemen, but, as I took an active part in that fight, I can explain to you exactly how. thingf occurred." This'he;did very briefly, and then all hands agreed that his version was the correct one. Subsequently in reply to a query, the stranger admitted that he had been a private'soldier in the 40th -Regiment, Imperial Service. Then the landlord chimed in, "Come and have a drink at my expense; I have'been running this house, nearly.two years and you .are the only ex-private soldier, of the Imperial Arnry that'-..-I havey eve? seen." Prominent' amongst" '■ the ex-officers was Major Muskett, "whd had received a flesh wound in calf of' his fight leg during one of the scrimmages with 'the Maoris.. For many years after the I Major nursed the injured limb most religiously, and he' was always flattered when- visiting friends made inquiries about it.. When under the influence of liquor the* Major was very peppery, and on a certain afternoon, while devoting more than the usual amount of attention to his pet leg, a young man of the dude order put in an appearance. .This fellow, who was a newcomer to the place, took stock of the Major's occupation and. then he opened fire: sympathetically: "Sciatica, Major!" "No, sir." ' • ,••'■■ j ■ "Rheumatism?" '•■ • "Nod——d rheumatism." "Gout?"- '• ; ''; -By this time the Major was ramping mad, and, rising to his feet for. the purpose of leaving the room, he roared out at the" top of his voice: ""Go arid read Gudgeon's ' History of the New Zealand War,'; you d——d ignoramus."

Sergeant Laurence Bryant. : When the Maori War was. raging in the Wanganui district a mixed force attacked "a pa called ' Weriroa,' and the hero' of this story formed one of" the party. Later on nothing gave him greater pleasure than relating to an admiring audience" his personal experience in connection therewith. ■

"Sergeant, tell.us the story about Weriroa," was enough to set him going, especially if he had imbibed more than the usual number of whiskies. Then he would begin with: "Bhoys, some aye ye heard it before, arid some ay ye did not hear it till now, and thim's the wans I'm tellin' it to. We were all formed up before daylight in the mornin' whin the word> was passed along the ranks, 'Advance, men, by yer. right,' and follow Colonel ——.' In the maintoime the artillery was blazin' «hot--and shill into the enemy's parapet,. where . a.- grate brache for our binifit. Then we got the word to 'double* under, a pirfect hail ay Maori. bullets, and before you could say thig and thu- I found meself strieking right and left in the very midst ay the foightin' divilss " Be mc soul they wint down-before me-like corn before a rapin' hook, and mc sword ! was hacked from hilt to- pint -wid blows ; from Maori tammyhawks. '•■ Now I was. fairly,inside the pa, and whin I found: toime to look around mc, trie divil a soger could I see but Corporal Casey and a .few ay 'toe own. mm that had stuck to mc all through. Anyhow, I made up mc moind to stick to mc posht, and I. placed' mc mm in difinsive .positions. Every, now and agin I used, to pass the word around: 'Corporal Casey, are you there?' sez T. " -■. "_- -'••'" '"I am, Sergeant Bryant/ sez he.. ,' '"Are you keepin' the Maoris at bay, Corporal Casey?' sez I. ' .',- -• .'.., ,;. ' "T : am, Sergeant Bryant,'sez he., . " 'Foight to the last gasp, Corporal Casey,'sez I. ' ,r -

I "*I will, Sergeant Bryant,* sez he. j '"Stick to yer dead, wounded " and '•prisoners; Corporal Casey,' sez I, 'and it's all Victoria Cross mm well be.' j "1 will, Sergeant Bryant,' sez,he..! j "Well, bhoys, to shorten mc. story, we held the pa for several hours until a detachment came to our ralaif, and thin we were cheered agin and.agin for"our bravery." ■'-;... ■ - ; . :/ ; -• " ; "Did you get the Victoria Cross, Sergeant?";' "The divil a sign ay a Cross, but: we were all comminded to Horse Guards for houlding tha position the 'Maoris/*