HOME COURT SPARKLETS.

Auckland Star, Volume LVI, Issue 180, 1 August 1925, Page 23

HOME COURT SPARKLETS.

Man at Tower Bridge: I ran away In selfdefence. Lancashire Magistrate: Are you guilty? Alleged Burglar: No; unlucky. East London Wife: My husband is not perfect, but he Is as perfect as I could get him. Kingsland Woman: Much to my regret, through dire necessity, my husband bae to work. Hlghgate Wife: There could not be s better man than my husband when he is in drink. Suffolk Wife: My husband stutters badly but fortunately I am good at cross-word puzzles. Sussex -Magistrate: What is that cut on your forehead? Man: My wife threw a water Jug at mo because my horse came In last. London Woman: My husband Is earning £60 a week. Magistrate: What is he—a county court Judge? Woman: No, Sir, a marine store dealer.

Marylebone woman: "A husband Is usually more Joyful over the arrival of the first baby than he Is over the eleventh."'

Bow (Landlord: My lodger Is so absentminded that be frequently mistakes my wife for his own.

Nottinghamshire Witness: Tbe two omnibuses were racing neck to neck. Driver: My omnibus has no neck.

Kent Magistrate: Have yon any Questions to ask? Defendant (wearily): Yes, can I go out to dinner?

Tottenham Man: Because be baa lost some pigeons be has threatened to kill all the cats In the neighbourhood.

, Willesden Woman: She said to mc, "If I bad a face nko yours I would not even show it to the Ice-cream man."

Solicitor at Higbgate: Do you play golf? Witness: Yes. Solictor: Then we can take it for granted that you swtar.

Rate Collector at Hlghgate: The defendant's name Is Quid, and If he pays £1 to meet the rates I shall be satisfied.

It was stated at Bow County Court that sewing was offered as light employment to a stevedore who met with an accident.