ANECDOTES AND STORIES.

Auckland Star, Volume LVI, Issue 180, 1 August 1925, Page 22

ANECDOTES AND STORIES.

m ■ ■ • THE POOR PRINCE. _A'wealthy Vancouver - merchant was commenting the other day on the, Prince of Wales' hard life. "My niece was talking to him one day during his visit to British Columbia," he said, "when an autograph fiend came up and asked if he would mind writing his signature for him. *Yes, I would,' said the Prince, promptly, and continued his conversation." HIS INFERENCE. Two lads went to the late Lord Leverhulme's office to demand a rise. They were duly admitted, but both omitted to remove their hats. The great business man glanced up, frowned, and asked: "Well, my lads, and wher are your caps?" One lad, with a look of profound astonishment, turned to the other and said, "My word, 'Arry, 'c's blind!" IN A WORD. Sir Samuel Walker, Lord Chancellor of Ireland 1892-95, was celebrated for his powers of repartee, and for a gift of describing a situation with accuracy in a dozen words. He once described a book—the life of a certain Lord Chancellor, who figured in many questionable and stormy episodes on public life —in a sentence which entitles. him to a high place in the world of criticism. "The book," he said, "is of the very highest interest, as the life of a very great rogue written by a very great fool." LORD ROSEBERY'S CABINET. A delightful story, probably founded on fact, was current in the House of Commons that on the day before the division was taken on the vote on which Lord Rosebery's Government was defeated in June, 1895, Sir Henry Camp-bell-Bannerman came down to tea on the terrace, and said, humorously, that everything was going on quite well in the Cabinet. "We are a happy family," he is reported to have said. "Why, he (Harcourt) only thre times this day caled mc a *—— fool.'" , HER REQUEST. Ignace Paderewski, the supreme Polish pianist, dining with friends one night in Paris, was persuaded at the end of the meal to play a rhapsody, which he did with good grace and brilliance. Pale with emotion, a young woman who had been fluttering for a time on her chair, suddenly stood up and said: "How divinely you play, maitre, but may I ask you a question?" "Ask it, I beg of you." "Is a quaver played quickly?" "Good heavens, I should say it is." "And a semiquaver?" "Much more so." "Oh, maitre," said the lady beseechingly, "do play one for mc." ESCAPE OF GAS. A man in a railway carriage who wanted to read his newspaper bore with patience the incessant chatter of his neighbour, until he could endure it' no longer. Looking at his garrulous friend over the top of his paper he said: "For heaven's sake, shut up, old man. Why you're like the R33." "Like the R33?" said the loquacious traveller. "Why, whatever do you mean ?" "I mean," retorted his friend, "that the rent under your nose lets the gas out." THE SILENT GUEST Mr. Jerome K. -Jerome, author of "Three Men in a Boat," says that Sir James Barrie could easily be the most silent man he ever met. Sometimes he would sit through the whole of a dinner without speaking. Once a beautiful but nervous young lady was handed over to his care. With the sole au gratin, .Barrie broke the silence i- — "Have you ever been to Egypt?" The young lady was too startled to answer' immediately. It was necessary for her to collect herself. While waiting for the entree, she turned to him. "No," she answered. Barrie made no comment. He went on with his dinner. At the end of the chicken en casserole, curiosity overcoming her awe, she turned to him again. "Have you?" she asked. A far-away expression came into Barries great deep eyes. "No," he answered. After that they both lapsed into silence. MR. BALFOUR SCORES. Dr. Tanner was a member of the House of Commons, now only remembered as a prominent member in "scenes." He was fond of tormenting Mr. Balfour, who, although quite imperturbable when seriously attacked, and able to listen calmly to unfavourable comparisons between himself and all the most hateful characters in history, had one weak point on which he was really sensitiveridicule of his well-known elegance of deportment. Dr. Tanner was well aware of this, and on one occasion went out of his way to complain that Mr. Balfour had treated him "in a most unladylike manner." Mr. .Balfour, however, subsequently contrived a most excellent score off Dr. Tanner in return. Some small boys had been imprisoned for selling copies of a suppressed newspaper in the streets of Cork. Dr. Tanner immediately took to selling copies of the same paper, but was not interfered with by the police. When questions were asked in the House about thq, prosecution of the newsboys Dr. Tanner asked whether Mr. Balfour was aware that although he also' had sold the suppressed newspapers, he had not been prosecuted. "Yes, sir," answered Mr Balfour, "I was aware of the hon gentleman's activities, but the police were directed only to arrest persons of political importance."