PARISANA.

Auckland Star, Volume LVI, Issue 53, 4 March 1925, Page 8

PARISANA.

RUINED BY A DIMPLE.

A THIN" MAN'S CI/TJB. (By GEORGE CECIL.) Parisians who come to grief are ruined by one thing and another. It may be the races, cards, drinks at the American bars, the Bourse, and even profiteering—for profiteers (happily) are known to overreach themselves and to be left lamenting. Rarely, however, <loe3 the simple dimple prove to be the undoing of a frail old man.

Achille, a white-bearded gallivanter, after serving a firm of suspenders and corset suppliers for 35 blameless years, took the wrong turning, a young person employed by the establishment having proved his undoing. An alluringly-placed dimple on a plump shoulder, coupled with a danziing smile, did the trick, and the inflammable Achille, though 05 years of age, Ss bald as any billiard ball, and blessed with a wife and seven grown-up children, fell a hopeless victim to the wiliest of her artful sex. Such, in fact, was the compelling nature of the charmer's fascination, that the elderly Lothario, for her sweet sake, robbed the till. As chief cashier he was afforded many opportunities of doing so, his employer being singularly trusting. For eighteen blissful months the abandoned wretch helped himself to countle-ss francs, and, had Mimi not basely deserted him for another, he might still be doing so. But of this more anon. The Movies and Poetry. With the francs thus nefariously acquired, the reprobate stood Mimi innumerable treats. He took her to the opera, and, by way of contrast, to the movies, the friendly gloom of the auditorium being . favourable to lingering caresses and other endearing activities. Sunday excursions were undertaken to distant romantic spots, where the twain wandered hand-in-hand, and exchanged poetical quotations. All the night restaurants in Paris knew them, while their partiality for champagne and hot-house fruit made the pair welcome at expensive "dancings." For Achille the lavish threw the firm's money about; nothing was too good for so ravishing a girl as Mimi. The apple of his eye was she. Then, alas, came the fatal crash. Mimi, tiring of an admirer old enough to be her grandpapa, took up with the assistant cashier, incautiously explaining how funds might be provided for jaunts and junkets. The discarded pilferer, learning that the divinity had given him away, disclosed everything to the head of the firm, who, also having received encouragement from the perfidious demoiselle, was no enraged that he positively foamed at the mouth. The double-faced enchantress left Park for an unknown address. Although the sinful Achille admitted Laving embezzled over twenty thousand francs, he was let off with six months imprisonment, his forgiving wife having declared that "in the home, at all events, he had proved a model husband and father."

The Thin Men's Club. The Fat Men's Club, which has long been a recognised Paris institution, even having attracted the attention of cinema operators, the thinnest of the thin Parisians have started a Thin Men's Club. The only qualification for membership is that one must either be thin, or have aspirations in that direction. So, While half the members are as lean as was poor Smike when he played the Apothecary in ''Korrieo and Juliet,' the others have the misfortune to be more or less plump. They, however, are doing their level best to get the right side of nature, hoping —by judicious dieting—to attain slim, elegapt figures. Their food is supposed to be most carefully chosen. The members repair to the club every Friday evening, for the express purpose of being weighed. The thin ones, who are found to have put on flesh must submit to a fine, each half-ounce counting against them. They are called upon by the committee to give details of the fattening food which has tempted them during the week, and the president solemnly warns tte delinquents that the credit of the'club must not be sacrificed to the cravings of the stomach. The misdoers are enjoined to give butter and sweets a miss,- to avoid every plat of a rich nature, r The fines, by the way, are refunded should the culprits chow, on being weighed a month later, that the president's admonition has.been digested. Great, in fact, is the incentive to practice self-denial. The other members are treated rather leniently, it being admitted that to reduce the "too solid flesh" is no easy matter. If, however, four consecutive monthly weighments show no perceptible decrease, Fatty is requested to resign. 'Tis felt that he must have been indulging in something too filling, and that is more than the committee will tolerate. The ex-member then puts on as much flesh as possible, and joins the Fat Men s Club.

Prima Donna and Her Press Agent. Prime Donne, in Paris, as in London, avail themselves of the press agents doubtful services, and sometimes with strange results. For these doubtless wellmeaning scribes deluge every, paper in the directory with paragraphs which, in addition to being super-idiot lC , would _if published—do the performer more harm than good. Incidentally, the scribes know as little about music as they do of metaphysics; perhaps less. « . One of the fraternity has particularly distinguished himself. Instructed by his client, a soprano, to notify the public that her Aida was considered an ideal representation, he unfortunately saddled her with the role of Amneris. . .Going from bad to worse, the ignoramus (by trade he is a sporting t.'pster , Provided the lady with three octaves and three extra notes at either end, something much more than phenomenal. He also desribed her as "a champion tennis plave*" (she loathes all games), a leafless swimmer" (she has never made the acquaintance of any water other than her bath), and "a really ardent bicyclist" (she only just knows what a bicycle is). H's last effort stated that "the. peerless artist is about to marry into the German Koyal family," a piece of information calculated to infuriate the French, who have no tender feelings for the Boche. . . It also happens that Aida already is married, and to a Rhadames ■whom she adores. One editor, wishing the prima donna •well, sent her these precious screeds, explaining that his paper was not a comic one, and thoughtfully recommending %he instant dismissal of the press agent. Within twenty-four hours the lastnamed was sent packing, and the next day he.filed a suit for three thousand francs, the agreed salary for one month. . If the judge is a man of sense the tipster , "will lose his case.