RANDOM SHOTS

Auckland Star, Volume LV, Issue 248, 18 October 1924, Page 54 (Supplement)

RANDOM SHOTS

Zamil

A notice window of an Auckland men's outfitter: "The first step towards success in life is to be faultlessly dressed." This is placed among a number of suits of pyjamas. Is it suggested that a man should go to business in pyjamas ? "We make up our customers skins. Send yours along," remarks an advertisement on the ferries. Most modern young women have the appearance of being quite capable of jing up their own. It would be very inconvenient to be minus one's skin during the makingup process. Mr. Oscar Asche, after trailing the pageant of his bleeding heart before ■ the Australian public has, under the smart of a failure in London, been denouncing the British as hypocrites. Evidently he is determined to make the worst of both worlds. In between times he has invented a cooker! You cannot keep genius down. A tradesman who was invited recently to explain an account tendered for vegetables supplied to a London County Council school, wrote: "So sorry I maid a mistake. I put the 81b collyflours under the 8/- instead of putting it under the pence, and reckoned the 29th of April in with the bill. That where the mistake came in." Tho pra of the profiteer is not yet ended. Somo of the war contractors probably added also the A.D. year. Wednesday.—••Fljttat hnrd : flght well. Keep your principles high. Our opponents will 'hit below the belt" all the time, hut do not do the same." Mr. Ramsay MacDnnajd to the London Labour Partj-. Thursday.—An outbreak of disorderly conduct at a meeting occurred at YVhltaehnnjel Jast evening. Sir John Simon (Liberal) was obliged to curtail his address. A section of tbe audience sang "The Red Flag," and cheered the Labour candidate, Mr. Gosling. Let us suppose that Labour broke up the meeting in order to prevent Sir John from "hitting below the belt." Saxon Brown, known as the "strongest boy on Earth" (where'but on earth dees one find "strong boys"'), is h) and has married a girl of Iβ? "After the ceremony, he lifted a motor van nine inches from the ground: pulped an apple in one hand; bent an iron bar upon itself; raised five hundredweight of iron on his chest; lifted four men on a board; and broke an iron chain with his teeth." Now which of these feats of abnormal strength was intended to most impress the young bride? Do you give it up? The generals have started deserting in China: But when away his ajmy ran. His plnre was nt the'fore—Oh! That celebrated. Cultivated. Underrated, Nobleman, Tho Duke of— (811 in Chinese names to suit). I really think it would be easier to win the £10.000 prize for a blackberry eradicator than to pase an examination in the progrees of the Chinese war. One of the many Ford stories concerns a visitor to the works. "What is the shortest time in which you can put a oar together, Mr. Ford?" "About thirty minutes." "But you've done it quicker than that, haven't you?'" "Oh, yee, by a special effort." "I believe you've cut it down to fifteen minutes?" "Vps, I believe we did—with one car." "Ah, that was the car I got." If Mr. Ford ever resented this joke, which I cannot believe, he will not do So now, for lie has just assembled a car for the Prince of Wales in twelve minutes. Blue-eyed men, the idols of the weaker, romantic sex, havo been denounced. A social worker in England has told the world that ninety per cent of runaway husbands have blue eyes—in fact, the gentleman who made this disquieting statement, has branded blue-eyed malee as a bad lot altogether. If magistrates, and others, accept this as an established fad, we may expect something like this at our Courts. The Magistrate: You have not brought enough evidence to prove that this man beat his wife and then left her. Dismissed. Counsel (triumphantly, playing his last card): But, your worship, he has blue eyes! The Magistrate: Oh, heavens! that settles it. Six months! Or:— George, when I first met you, it was night—ah, that glorious, glorious night. But, oh, George! now I have gazed gazed into those eyes of yours—those eyes that I thouglit so wonderfully wonderful. And, oh, George, (sobbing) they are blue! George, man that he is, understands, and, without a word, stumbles forth into the black night. The modern girl continues to figure in our local and cabled news. Tho usual order of things is reversed when a bishop defends the girl of to-day, but he is an American bishop. Perhaps ho has in mind that other bishop of whom, after he had made a etrong attack on tho morals of his time, some one remarked that Some said it showed the state of the age And others the state of Jile mind. We • have, however, to counterbalance this defence, the complaint of Lady Martin Harvey, that "girls will not be bettered. They consider their mothers old-fashioned." She asks what mothers are thinking about. Well, what some are thinking about is suggested by two paragraphs I came across this week on the same page of the London "Sphere." The writer tells this as a true story from life. A young lady, whom he supposes to hax'e been on the best (modern) terms with her parents, said to her mother casually one morning: "Mother, I am going to be married at eleven o'clock on Thursday morning in St. Andrew's church, if you and father would like to come." He understands that the invitation was accepted gratefully and gracefully. Further down the page is the boast of a mother about a girls' school: "Of course all the girls have to have dinner-frocks. I hear they only have four courses, but quite nicely done, you know." The writer does not suggest that there is any connection between the two paragraphs, but there may be.