JOHN BACKBLOCKS.

Auckland Star, Volume LV, Issue 248, 18 October 1924, Page 53 (Supplement)

JOHN BACKBLOCKS.

AND THE DOCTOR.

(By PKKITUB.) ~»' '

"Grandmother is not too well this morning, John," said Mrs, Backblock.. as ehe poured out the breakfast tea, "I think we ought to send for the 'doctor." John tilled his mouth with smoked schnapper and murmured something about "D —d doctors —twelve milee-rfeee and robbery." "She seems very bad, John." John continued to cat in silence. Your wife'e grandmother, at 85, is , not much in the nature of an asset. If she has money her departure for a place unknown will release it, and upon a farm there is always a use for money. If ehe had none, there is still necessary a little milk which must not tie put through the separator, and which cannot be considered as a set off against a future benefit. One looks (twice daily) at that half pint of good milk from which cream might be mechanically extracted, and tips it this way and that at the bottom of the bucket, regretfully and resentfully. Porridge, too, and salt, and tea, and the extra j chips on the dying fire at bedtime ] to make water hot for the rubber bottle j grandmother takes to bed with her, it all ; costs something. And the return? One can see no profit in all this expense and trouble. There are pigs to be fed, and ! calves, and the poultry. One sees the sense of feeding these. But grandmothers ! John's thoughts ran thus as he ate. •"Belle," he said to his daughter—aged fourteen, and trained to obey —"go upstairs to Grandmother and ask her how *he is. Sit by the bed and make her tell you all her symptoms—twice. She will enjoy it, and' you are to remember every word." Belle left the table, and John continued his meal. "What do you think about the doctor, John," asked his wife, as she cleared the table. "I think a lot of things I have no time to say just now," said John, "but if a doctor is a doctor he should know a disease by the symptoms, and if six people all had the same symptoms he would give them all the same advice and medicine. To 'benefit themselves the doctors always want to see a patient, even when they know all the symptoms. D—d nonsense. If a neighbour comes to mc and says his horse has the gripes, I can give him the drench to suit it, without making him bring the horee to mc, or making him pay mc to go miles to see it. Ain't that so? Well, there isn't goin£ to be any excuse for the doctor to ride out here, nor for mc to trundle Grandmother twelve miles. I've fixed it," and he reached for his hat. Belle, joined him in the yard. "Saddle Tomboy and ride to the doctor," ordered John. ''Tell him you are sick, and then tell him all the symptoms grandmother told you. You are to make him think they are your own symptoms. Understand; Don't mention Grandmother at all. Bring the medicine with you. Now, off you go!" Belle, — to nee a local phrase—was a "lump of a girl," that is, ehe was 'big, and robust, and looked fully seventeen. She rode to the doctor, and obeyed her instructions. The doctor was attentive to all she said, but was, of course, puzzled. "Arc you guile sure—" he began. "Oh, yes, quite sure," she replied, nervously, fearing that to repeat any part of the lesson would reveal an error. "And for how long have matters been like this?" asked the doctor. "Just a few days," she replied. "Urn! Well, I will give you a mixture. If you do not feel better send for mc. You must not ride so far; indeed, not ride at all." Belle returned with the medicine. Grandmother took one dose that night and another the. following day. On the second morning she was sleeping when Belle carried in the early tea. She was still sleeping at noon, and Mrs. Backblock went up and shook the old lady. A minute later Belle's mother was in the paddock calling, "John! John! Come, quick!" Grandmother had been dead some hours. When a country person dies without the assistance of a registered, medical man, the registrar need not demand a certificate of death (unless there are suspicious circumstances) so grandmother was entered ac "uncertilied —senile decay," and John lost a day's work; put a strip of black cloth around one sleeve of his tweed coat; promised the carpenter who made the coffin to pay him "about December"; drove the buggy hearse himself; and hurried home before two shovelfuls of earth had rattled down upon hollow sounding wood. When Mrs. Backblock was "clearing up," she trought down the bottle of medicine, and moved with it towards the kitchen sink. "Don't," eaid John, "give that to mc. There are only two doses gone." A month later, Miss Edna Backblock, aged three, hastily gobbled the half of a green banana. There was a terrible night. John could not sleep. Edna kicked and. screamed. Mrs. Backblock rushed about with hot water, and ecraps of flannel, the hot water bottle, and Robber's Reliable Remedy. John rose, and padded to the kitchen cupboard. He found Grandmother's mixture, and soon, little Edna was gasping and gurgling over a half dose of dark liquid strongly flavoured with peppermint. "The tumult and the fighting died," for exhaustion, and gradually casing pain, led Edna into welcome sleep. In spite of two more doses of the medicine, however, ehe fought through a weary restless time next day, and again the day after. Mrs, Backblock taking advantage of her hus- . band's absence (he was visiting a sick ! neighbour) sent Belle for the doctor. "Have you done anything for her," he asked, as he sat by Edna's cot. "My husband gave her some ■ medicine we had," eaid Mrs. Backblock. "Let mc ccc the bottle," demanded the doctor. "Oh, it is quite right, doctor. It is some of yours. You made it up for my mother, who died, and my husband has taken it to give to a neighbour he is visiting to-day and who is very ill." "I have not attended your mother, that I can remember," said the doctor, thoughtfully. "How did you get the medicine 1" "My daughter came to you for it," said Mrs. Backblock, who had forgotten John's simple plan for economy. At this point a horse was heard to gallop into the yard, there was a shout of "Doctor," and saying, "I will come back," that gentleman hurried off. Riding with the messenger the doctor met John Backblock, returning home. "No use you going on, doctor," said John. "She died before I left. There ain't much kick in that medicine of youre." The doctor saye, to-day, that the fact he gave only coloured peppermint water comforts him; but the knowledge that country people persist in using a pre- j ecribed mixture ac a. family remedy r-*od more—» I