ANDOM SHOTS

Auckland Star, Volume LIV, Issue 213, 8 September 1923, Page 18

ANDOM SHOTS

Zamil

Some write a Lrfiehhonr's name to lash, Some write—vain thought—for needless cash Some write to please the country clasu And raisp a din: For mc, an uliu I never fash, I write fur fun. Signor Mussolini is not content with trampling on the "decomposed corpse of Liberty. He is jumping on the remains of tho lady. Signor Mussolini says tho Italian people like and respect the League, but the League must not interfere in this business with Greece. It is unlikely that he has read that lovely story of Lord Melbourne, who besides being Prime Minister, warmed both hands generously before the fire of life. Lord Melbourne, having hail to listen unwillingly to a rousing Evangelical sermon about sin and its consequences, cx j claimed in disgust as he left tho church: "Things have come to a pretty pass when religion is allowed to invade the sphere of private life!" However, it is gratifying to know that although the Italian fleet bombarded a defenceless town,,.and killed sixteen children, Italy is not at war | with Greece. Of course if a single Greek' i soldier, or even a policeman , , had been killed, it might be different! "The Failure and Recovery of John Mark" was the advertised subject of a discourse at a local church on Sunday laet. Economics are invading even the churches. . Ati old man who applied for Telief to a southern Charitable Aid Board during the week was reported to have twentyseven children. Some one ought to demand a recount. At the last meeting of the Christclvurch City Council a. councillor objected to "some of the epitaphs wheh were thrown across the table." I sympathise with him. It would be terrible to ibe hit by some epitaphs. Someone sent in an advertisement announcing a "billiard queue" for sale t , c other day, but the watchful reader spotted it. I often tihink the paper would lie much more interesting if there were no proof readers. I hope the. queue is straighteT and more uniform tihan some human queues I have seen. From a correspondent: "Someone has been 'pulling the leg , of a Palmereton North reporter with regard to an alleged Australian kookaburra or laughing jackass, which 'sings' in a clump of gum trees near the town. A 'concert , by a kookaburra is described on a recent Sunday morning. The writer sagely remarks that the amateur Australian naturalist who first named this bird the laughing jackass lias no sense of ihumoirr or appreciation of musical sound. This is very funny. Those who have ever heard the raucous outcry of an Australian jackass would never associate the nobe witil anything relating to music." This is a great country. "By an Order-in-Council gazetted on Thursday, stoats and weasf\s have been declared to be tho natural enemies of tho rabbbit, and the killing or capturing of the animals has now been prohibited without the special permit signed by an inspector. ,, I suppose if Brown found a weasel killing one of his purebred Black Orpingtons, he might not kill the brute, but must make application for a permit to do so, using Form 238968, and waiting a month or so for a reply. If he found a stoat chewing the ear of his baby as it slept on the verandah, and slew the vermin on the spot, tho Court ' might tako mitigating circumstances into account, and lot him off with a stiff fine, but I wouldn't like to bet on it. Pertiapd tiie "Bulletin's comment, made some years ago on the introduction of a bird into N"ew Zealand, is best, that thie country would never solve the problem of pests until every form of animal life ' was brought in, from the flea to the ele- ' phant, and left to fight it out. "I never fail to read your column," begins a correspondent, whereat my temperature and pulso rise. Unfortunately he goes on—"and sometimes I am much amused." Only sometimes? Can ' I not remove this crumpled rose-leaf? ■ The purpose of the letter is to tell mc, • apropos of my Inst week's paragraph ' about Mr. Massey, a story of the writer's school-days. He and his brother went to an Auckland city school, and one day they had a lesson on countries iinil their rulers. One of his brothers sat day-dream ing and was aroused 'by a peremptory demand from the teacher to state who was the King of New Zealand. "King Dick, miss," was the- innocent answer. The buy was not punished; teachers do not often get such comic ' relief. My correspondent sends this for i the joke, hut I suppose we may draw this comparison, that while Mr. Seddon ' was known us "King Dick.' , Mr. Massey | has not yet achieved the honour of being ' known as "King Bill." It is suspected ; that Mr. Massey .is out after Mr. j Seddon's record of thirteen years and a . liit as Premier. Let him" look to the \ 'ther distinction. ] What's in a name? A great deal < liometimes. Lately two friends of mine, i discussing George Nathaniel Ciirzon. 1 First Marquis of Kedlcston, K.O. n.C.X.L, G.C.1.K.. etc., etc., etc.. Secretary of Strfte for Foreign Affairs, have c mentioned as an illustration of his lord- ( ship's unamiablo qualities the fact that ( he has l>ocn repeatedly convicted of furious driving in his motor car. They ( were quite hot about it, and T think i reasonably. If a man persistently flout* ( tho rights of others in this way he is ] not likely to bo ii very tactful Foreign i Minister. One. of these friends is a man t with quite exceptional knowledge of < English politic-*. 1 ventured to suagest ; that they had confused two Curzons, t and that tha culprit was Viscount ( Ciirzon, who sits in the House of Com- „ mons for South Battrrsea, but I wasn't « quite sure. Now comes along the "Man- c Chester Ounrdian" to settle the matter. 1 Viscount Ciirzon, M.P., was on July 21 c lined £5 and had his licence endorsed t for driving at 35 to 40 miles an hour, : unci the police proved seventeen pre- f vious convictions against him, of which a fifteen were for "speeding." Well may t the "Guardian" remark that the circuni- i stances "suggest that Lord Curzon's t practice has been to drive as he, and d not the law, thinks proper, and to pay s any nuraher of consequent fines and t lawyers' ices as a kind of rent for n ibcrty to do so." The Marquis Curzon n has a reai frrii»vanct". Ho is quite un- t popular einviifrh without having to t shoulder the sins of a namesake who is ( t [ belVve, no relation, ' jt