ANECDOTES AND STORIES.

Auckland Star, Volume LIV, Issue 130, 2 June 1923, Page 18

ANECDOTES AND STORIES.

THE INTERPRETER'S FAUX PAS "It was in Samoa that an interpreter bidding farewell on my behalf to a native audience, concluded by saying: 'Partings; must always occur on earth; I there i 3 but one place where there will be no parting, and that is the Kingdom, of Heaven, where La,cby Jersey will be j pleased to, see al"i present.' i ! Years of Victorian Life, by the Dowager Countess of Jersey. A POPE'S BON MOT. High ecclesiastical evidence seems a little"doubtful on the question which is agitating Belfast as to whether smoking ' (among other things) is a vice or a sin, says the "Daily Chronicle." There is a story of a famous Pope of the 19th century offering a cigarette to a sanctimonious prelate, who waved lt aside with the remark, "J. have not that vice." "If it were a vice," answered the Pope sweetly, "you would have it, no doubt." CARUSO'S WEALTH. Enrico Caruso, who died at Naples ion August 2, 1&21, rose from extreme ; poverty to great wealth; the royalties !he received for his gramophone records | alone amounted! to, £445,000, a sum which is probably unapproached by any other i singer. He was born at Naples in 1873, and began to sing when he entered the army to do his compulsory service. He owed much to, the kindness of a snajsor in his regiment, "who had a bad face* but a good heart," and arranged for the private soldier to train Kis, superb voice. i Caruso's first appearance was a complete failure. The extreme sensitiveness of his temperament, the nervous excite- ; ment . . . seemed almost to have paralysed Caruso's mental, faculties and to have tightened his throat. He confused the words, of his text,_ began and finished phrases out oi tempi, and, beyond all these and other mistakes, his voice cracked and broke to pieces on all his high notes. FORGIVEN ! An aniusing story of Phil May is told by Edwin, Ward, the artist, in the March "CornhilP:— Phil May and a writer named George were sent out to the Chicago Exhibition by the "Graphic" to write and illustrate a story of that marvellous show. But Phil and his partner were subjected to so much entertainment that they found no leisure in which to fulfil their obligation to their paper. In consequence a cable was sent insisting on their immediate return. Full of remorse, they arrived in England at the precise moment of the marriage of Prince George and Princess Mary of Teck. They reached London heartily ashamed of the fruitless few weeks they had spent in Chicago, very much perturbed as to their reception at the offices of the "Graphic," and quite ignorant of the decorations and festivities consequent upon the Royal marriage. As they drove across Waterloo Bridge into the Strand, Phil's face suddenly brightened, and, pointing to an archway across the road, he said, "Cheer up, George, old boy, we're forgiven. Look. 'Welcome to George and May!'" BERNHAHDT'S REVENGE. Mrs. Patrick Campbell in her book, "My Life and Some Letters," writes of the divine Sarah: "Her company indiscreetly told mc that Mme. Sarah had never been known to make fun or laugh on the stage. In a tobacconist's shop I saw a tobacco pouch made in the shape of a fish, and painted to represent one. I bought it, took it to the theatre, and tied it down to a bit of canvas at the bottom of the well at the fountain. At the performance, when Sarah came to the second act and stood by the fontaine dcs avengles, she spied the fish and began improvising about les poissons la. . . . She stooped gracefully ovor the edge to take the fish out; as it was tied, she nearly lost her balance. Without concern she went on calmly with her part. I laughed, spoiling my lovely little scene. When the curtain fell Sarah did not allude to what had happened, neither did I. The next day when we lunched together she had a strange, preoccupied expression on her face. Later, at the matinee, when we came to the cave scene, at the point where she tenderly takes my hand and helps mc over the rocks, she took hold of my hand, hard—squash—she held a raw egg in hers." A GRAND BURYING. I see that Hemsted Park, Kent, is for sale, says a correspondent of the "Glasgow Herald." The mansion enshrines one of the most opulent love stories, rounded off by a strange burial. It was here that the glorious beauty, Kitty Fisher (who was painted by both ' Reynolds and Gainsborough) was brought as a bride in 1760 by John Norris, the eccentric millionaire and beau of London Town. For three years Kitty, whose origin was mysterious, had been the toast of royal admirers, to say nothing ] of all the bucks of the town. Her , married life was short, as she died of ', a form of poisoning caused by the use 5 of cosmetics (according to the physicians). She was laid to rest in a magnificent family vault constructed at Benenden. Her grief-stricken husband ~ had her dressed for burial in a wonderful complete set of Court clothes, with the famous Norris pearl necklace en- , circling her slender neck. No wonder that many tales were circulated of at- 4 tempts to burgle the vault—attempts said to be frustrated by pretty Kitty's "spirit." PUBLICITY FOR PRESIDENT. ' Much amusement has been caused by ] a suggestion recently made to President -t Harding by the chairman of the U.S. Shipping Board, Mr. A. D. Lasker, formerly a Chicago advertising agent. He i strongly advised the President to employ ' a publicity expert for the purpose of i keeping himself properly before the i public. "Sell yourself, Mr. President," i said Mr. Lasker, who evidently thinks that an American President" should adopt the methods of successful actresses, chewing-gum manufacturers, t and theatrical managers. t He would sign important bills under the clicking of moving picture cameras, t broadcast a speech to' the country every }, evening by radio, and count a day lost a when he did not see his name and portrait occupying the front page in leading h newspapers. President Harding has apparently failed to make the most of s his opportunities, for he promptly rejected this unique proposal. c So far from courting publicity by c sensational methods, President Harding, c it is announced, when his term of office ends, has planned to retire to a farm t of 185 acres near the town of Marion, c Ohio, long occupied by his family, which o lie has just purchased. His desire is to become a gentleman farmer, to do a n great deal of writing, and to manage his t Marion newspaper. b

INSULTED. "Harry, love!" exclaimed Mrs.-Know-all to her husband. "I have b-been d-dreadfully insulted!" "Insulted! By whom?" "By your m-mother," answered the young wife, bursting into tears. , "My mother, Flora? Nonsense 1 She'B miles away!" Flora dried her tears. "I'll tell you all about it," she said. "A letter came for you this morning, addressed in your mother's writing, 60 I—l opened it." "Of course," repeated Harry. "It—it was written to you all through. Do you understand?" "I understand. But where did the insult come in?" "In the p-p-postscript," cried the wife, bursting into fresh floods ef .tears. "It s-said, "D-dear Flora, d-don't fail to give this 1-letter to Harry. I w-want iiim to have it.' " IN A MUDDLE. Mr. Brown was calling on an old friend. "I declare," he remarked to his friend's wife, "it quite cures mc of home sickness to drop in hen? and see a little of your homellifer—not that your home life is anything but the —what I mean to say is that it makes mc all the fonder of my own home— -or rather, that, on the homoeopathic principle, a hair of the dog that bit you— which isn't, of course, what I mean. But when a, man is lonely he can enjoy the society of almost anybody " "Sir!" said the lady, icily. "I mean," returned Mr. Brown, as he mopped the perspiration from his face, "that, be it ever so humble—no, no, yours is not that—but there's no place like one's own-—-but, I mean—well, * must be going! Good day!" THE BEST POLICY. It was six o'clock in the evening, and the streets were crowded with people on their way home from business. The little newsboy outside the station was doing a roaring trade, and was handing out papers almost as quickly as he could take the money. Presently a prosperous-looking man in a fur coat approached. "Here, sonny, give mc a paper," he said, and tendered half a crown. The boy hastily counted out the change, and was attending to another customer when the man noticed that the change was not correct. "Here," he said, touching the boy on the arm, "you've given mc too much change. You've cheated yourself out of a penny." "Have I." the hoy answered. "Well, most people would have walked off with the money. Just keep it for your honesty!"