RANDOM SHOTS

Auckland Star, Volume LIV, Issue 72, 24 March 1923, Page 18

RANDOM SHOTS

Some write n neighbour* uninc to lnsh, Some write— vaiu tlioiiglH—for needless casti, Some write to please the roiiuiry clueu And raise v (tin: For we, mi uhn I never fash. 1 write lor fan. The centre of Sunday's earthquake at Wellington must have been Tauranga. The tremors were a premonitory symptom of what will !ia])pen next June. There may he a gleam of hope in the attempt of the Irish rebels to prevent two men lighting, even though the two were only boxers. As the Carnival procession moved tip the street the other day a small child contemplated the. slowly moving motor cars and then said: "Mother, are they going to bury the Carnival?" This seems to bp a particularly good week for advertisements. ■'Strayed, wliite and liver fox terrier; collar only wanted. . . . Reward.' , Is it a jewelled collar; and, if so, why waste it on so poor a dog? The Reform candidate for Tauranga is known as Mr. C. K. Mncmillan, but was lie nominated as such? Jlis full name happens to be Charles Edward Duncan Angus Evan Ewen de la Barca 37a-ciuil-lan. It looks as if they would all be ai the bottom of the poll next week. "House, Apartments, painter, two children; willing keep in order; moderate rent." So ran an advertisement this week. In these days of decaying parental control it is gratifying to iind even one parent who is prepared to exert his authority. There was a quaint candour about a enblc message from Belgrade the other day. The Premier of Jugoslavia won only 120 scats, as against the 100 he neiiled to command a majority, "so it is expected thnt Parliament will lie again dissolved and a military dictatorship established." Here is an idea for Mr. Massey. Who was the man who mistook Mrt Masscv for Sir Joseph Ward nt Morrinsville the other day? For a parallel we must go bnck to the story of Lord Salisbury at the King's garden party. King Edward had a conversation with his Prime Minister, and as His Majesty walked away the old statesman said sadly: "Poor old Buller, how he has aged." Listen to Mr. nilaire Belloe in one of lu9 tales of bad beasts for bad children: And oft In some far Coptic town, A missionary sits him down To hrpiikfnst by the Nile. His henrt beneath Ills iirlcetly gown Is Innocent of guile. Why iloes he leap and sfart amain And scour the sand; Libyan plain? Hecaiise lie finils Ills ecg contain Green. lmrrlble and plain. An infant crocodile. And then consider the cable message of % few days ago stating that in England % lizard had been found in an imported Cliiliese egg. Fiction cannot get fur lhcad of real life. So we are to have tramcars de luxe. Fliey are to -have numerous improvements, including seats that are more comfortable and brass grips at the end if them, so thnt the straphanger will lave a second string to his bow. To men !ike myself, who invariably give up our icats to the ladies, the new sents will lot be of much value, but it will be a. Measure to know that those who are ortunate enoiifrh to get Beat:' will find ,he journey a little more pleasant. And .vhen you are skirmishing about in Customs Street at five, on a wet. night it will tie some comfort to know that when ,-ou do manage to board a car you will lave a. brass grip to hang on to. The lew ear, we are told, i.s not designed to carry a larger number of passengers. iVell, we can't have everything. The new ype will not only be actually larger. 'but the scheme of painting and the arrangement and design ,of the windows urther add to the idea of spaciousness." Ah! as the married man said when told hat manned men lived longer than lingle men, "It only seems longer.' . We were informed a few days ago '.lull Queen Mary luid bowed to fashion lo (lie extent of wearing a. collarless blouse, which is a reminder that, contrary to what one might suppose. Royalty has singularly little influence on dress. King Ed\va;d had a great deal to do with the popularity of the soft felt hat for men. tl-ereby helping to lessen the use of tin- uncomfortable "bowler" and the comically unsuitable "bell-topper," but other .vims be exerted no influence. Queen Man, as her photographs show, has set herself rigidly against extremes of fashion: not for her'the short skirt or the tight skirt, or the highly economical bodice (i think that is the Word). You have only to look at one or two number of ■Punch'—to say nothing nf other illustrated papers—to see that her old-fashioned ideas have had no ; influence at all on modes for the society woman. Xow that several tram matters are under consideration the Council might veil think about instituting a competition among the various districts that isc the service, one that would help to jompensate for the many worries of ram travelling and gencrallv brighten ife. Then- should be a Pluiiket Shield —to be called. I suggest, the Gunson or lloldsworth .Shield—to be won by the listrict that scores most points in ccirailaints against the service. A plan of ••coring could be drawn up by a commitee. Such common experiences as havng to run to and fro in a crowd in Custom Street between five and l quarter past in the evening, would 'Ount only a single. Two trams bound o the same destination going up Queen Street together, followed at an interval of fifteen or twenty minutes by another, night count two. Such an experience i,s that recorded the other day by the nan who, wanting to go from the botom of Queen Street to the top of Khyier Pass, wns twice carried along the i'arnell route, would score a boundary, flierc would have to be a residential Unification for complainants, just as here is for Plunket Shield matches. Tt vould l>e almost as unfair for. say. {emuera, to use the services of a visitor rom Cliristcliurcli as it would be for Auckland to import Gregory to win a •ricket championship. Think what an nteresting topic of conversation it vould make in a tram of a morning. 'How's our score to-day?" "Oh, we're eading by twenty-three, but Mt. Eden's •mining us close." One thing is pretty ■ertain; Ponsonby would have no :hance.