RANDOM SHOTS

Auckland Star, Volume LIII, Issue 95, 22 April 1922, Page 18

RANDOM SHOTS

BY ZAMIEL

Some write a neighbour's name to lash. Some write —vain thought—for needful cash, Some write to please the country clash 'And raise a din; For mc, an aim I never fash. t____y 1 write for fun. "4m__#

It is almost as difficult to remember tbe names of successive sculling champions as to keen track of the I.R.A.Republican - ultra -De Valera developments in Ireland.

"A 'Gazette' notification declares carpet beating to be an offensive trade under the Public Health Act, 1920."— Telegram during the week. Why, bless my soul, wives, to say nothing of husbands commandeered for the job, came to that conclusion long ago.

By a curious - coincidence, to which New York "Life" draws attention, while one Griffiths produced "The Birth of a Nation" on the screen in America, one Griffith is trying to do the same thing in real life in Ireland. The American effort seems to be the more successful— temporarily at any rate.

Perhaps the most hopeful bit of news from Ireland is the statement of Commander O'Connor, leader of the Dublin "rebels," that waT with England is inevitable. In Ireland the inevitable never happens.

The telegraph office again. The followers of a certain New Zealand racehorse were pained to receive a wire from the owner stating that it had died after a final gallop. What had Teally happened was that it "did" a good final gallop. This recalls the classic Press story of the cablegram from Western Australia that read "Governor twins first son," which was expanded into the information that a double event had occurred in the Governor's family. What had really happened was that the Governor had turned the first sod of a new railway, which, of course, was much less interesting.

The head of the American film world is delaying the release of Arbuckle films, but tihere seems to be no doubt that Arb-eklo will be seen again on the screen. Tt will be interesting to see how the world receives ihim. He has been acquitted, but the acquittal did little to disperse the unsavoury atmosphere that had gathered around him. The -world, however, never refuses to 'be entertained by the work of <a man with a tainted reputation. Byron's immorality does not deter many people from reading him. Burns —'but, no, that is dangerous gro_nd. For some time theatrical managers would not .touch Wilde's plays, but they have long since returned to popularity, and his books have a steady sale. Nor is a divorce supposed to be any 'bar to the drawing power of an actor or aotress.

The Minister of Education thinks that domestic science is the most important subject in the education of a girl. The world rs retracing its steps. "For my part, I can't deceive what on airth eddication is coming to," said Mrs. Partington many years ago. "When I was young, if a gal only understood the rules of destraction, provision, multiplying, replenishing, and the common denominator and all about the rivers and their,obituaries, the covenants and their dormitories, the provinces and the umpire, they had eddication enough. But now they have to demonstrate suppositions about the sycophants .of parallelograms, to say nothing of ox-hides, ass-heads, cowsticks, and abstruse triangles." Now we have it laid down that the highest function of education is to teach a girl to be a good housekeeper. But wait a moment. Mr. Parr goes on to say that half the time should be devoted to domestic science, and that "with the other half of the curriculum devoted to English, arithmetic, bookkeeping, etc., the course will train a girl to become a proper housewife and an intelligent companion for her husband." It looks to mc as if—unless there is much virtue in that "etc." — companionship is going to be less important than chops.

I have received a long and heated letter from an Australian in comment on two paragraphs of Australian interest that appeared last Saturday. He thinks such statements "caddish in the extreme," and goes on to criticise the attitude of New Zealand papers towards Australia, to contrast our Press unfavourably with the Australian, to complain of New Zealand ignorance of Australia, to mention Australia's part in the war (but for which, he says, we should have been welcoming the Crown Prince and not the Prince of Wales), and to declare that Australia can "run rings Tound" New -Zealand in all games. I like to think that this letter was written in haste. There was nothing in my paragraphs to justify it. What apparently annoyed my correspondent was the offensive remark of the Palmerston North Justice of the Peace to the Australian charged with drunkenness, and he seems to think I condoned the offence. Perhaps I should have made my attitude clearer; the insult from the Bench was really outrageous. My friend should not be so t.uicbv. The* English. tb» Irish, the fleets. New Zealanders themselves, have all been pilloried in this column. The New Zealand Press has again and again referred generously to the fine qualities and achtevemente of Australians, including their "war record. Nor is our Press any more parochial than the Australian.

But may T point out gently that, splendid as was the war record of Australia, it was no better proportionately than our own, if so good. The percentage of serving troops to white male population was 13.43 in the case of Australia, and 19.35 in that ST New Zealand, white our percentage of casualties to male population I was 9.6 to Australia's B..*>. Poor old Britain had (including Ireland) a percentage of serving troops of 25.36, nearly double that of Australia, and a casualty percentage of 10.9. I would like to remark politely that the "we-won-the-war" attitude is not calculated to make for popularity in an Australian, or in a New Zealander for that matter. As for sport, there are five times as many people in Australia as in New Zealand. The Australians, my correspondent assures mc, are "an honourable, healthyminded, freedom-loving people." *>W ho deniges of it, Betsy?" as Mrs. Gamp's friend remarked. My correspondent concludes with a declaration never to buy the. "Star" again. I beg him not to penalise himself in this way.