SERVANTS IN INDIA.

Auckland Star, Volume LIII, Issue 72, 25 March 1922, Page 17

SERVANTS IN INDIA.

A QUEER CROWD. (BY HORACE WYNDHAM.) The new arrival in India, especially, if he be a mere tourist (and of whom, there is now a vast number, following the footsteps of the Prince of Wales) will early come into contact Avith nativeservants. His first experience, however, of them n-nd tiieir little ways is not likely to be very favourable. Time, an soon as 'lie steps ashore from the steamer, a vociferous gang oi these worthies will surround him, clamouring for employment as "travelling bearers"' (i.e.. personal attendants) or in some similar capacity. Even ff lie manages to shake them off, it U only for the) time being, as he will find another set) waylaying iiim at his hold. j "ADVANCE WAGES" TRICK. Since servants ere necessary, they haA-c to be engaged. In doing so, however, there is only one safe course to adopt. This is to take over suvh as are required fronr an official who is leaving the country, and is thus in a position to vouch for them. To rely on an agency, or to accept a candidate who turns up in response to an advertisement, is merely asking for trouble. - The first thing such an individual dor* 'is to demand an advance of wage.-, on the grounds that he must bid a fond farewell to his numerous family. The second thing (provided the trusting "sahib" has swallowed this story and parted AVith any rupee=) is to disappear. The dusky rascal knows very well that it in a thousand to one against the in-, experienced traveller identifying him among India's teeming million?. Cal-j eutta, Hombay, and Madra?. and all the other big cities are 'full of ingenious rogues who have worked this trick. "TESTIMOXIALS." In proof of their alleged.qualifications, applicants for employment often produce bundles of "chits," or testimonials. These missiA'es read enticingly; and declare the holder to be possessed of every imaginable virtue. But there is generally a weak point about them, all the same. This is that they are apt to he signed by peopie Avho live at the other end of the country. The result is, the references cannot be taken up.

In one way, perhaps, this is just as well, for the truth of the matter is, !)0! per rent, of these glowing ''testimonials''! are written by a confederate and hired! from a cunning fellow in the nearest! bazaar. Sometimes, however, the "chit.-" are genuine, in that they really do emanate from a» responsible person who has himself employed the man presenting them. But in these cases the wording" is not always quite so flattering as th." applicant's imperfect knou ledge of English leads 'him to imagine. This, for example, is the sort of thing that is proffered:—"l certify that the bearer was employed by mc for six months last year. He is the biggest thief in India, and abominably lazy.»J. Brown, Captain." Candid, certainly. Still, scarcely calculated to cause any wiid rush on the part of prospective employers. BIG DOMESTIC STAFFS. Visitors to India are always struck by the large number of servants which "dustoor" (i.e., custom) make.-, it necessary to maintain. Thus, even a baebeI lor'with a modc.t establishment requires

a cook, a butler, a water carrier, a grass! .utter, a gardener, a couple of punkah-1 coulibe, and a separate groom for each. hort-e iv his stable; while a married man; is practically compelled to have twice; as many. The bigger his position, too. the more swollen becomes his domestic staff. Fortunately, for the "sahib's" pocket, wages are not over high. Still, they mount up in the aggregate. If a man has his wife, and family with him lie must keep a s.aff of women servants as well. To begin with, there is an 'ayah for the "mem-sahib," aud another for the children. A "derzie," who discharges the dual functions of tailor and milliner, is also part and parcel of every Anglo-Indian household. Indian servants are pastmnsters in the art of extracting illicit conrmiss-ions. from everyone with whom their employer does tjiisiiie*.s. This is known as "dirstoorie," ami the inevitable result is that the tradesman, in order to recoup himself, puts an additional percentage on his bills. If by any chance a shopkeeper stands out against the system the butler and cook .-eon sec to it that he g-Hs no more patronage. lie.. "Chuprussic" (messenger) at a buncalow linds'his pc-.'t quite a .-our.c ot income, as it rests entirely with him who shall and who shall not, be granted admittance. Of course, when th« visitor is another European there, is none ot this nonsense, and he is ushered in promptly. But with natives it is a" very different story, ami they never get anywhere near the "Presence" until the j janitor has first been well and truly j bribed. | Dr-TTER WRITIXO. Subordinates in India are always great on letter Avriting. If a man wants a job, or an increase of wages, or a holiday—or any other old thing—lie immcjdiately fires off a lengthy epistle to his j employer. As a rule the.-c missives are specially composed for the applicant 'by a "T_abu." and they arc invariably couched in i.igh-faluting language, c Here, for example, is a specimen from a "khansammah" (cook), apparently desirous of attending a. relative's funeral-. "Protector of the Poor, —Lea', c of abaence (with customary pay ant! emoluments, as per official schedule) until further notice is earnestly requested by undersigned. Reason for J humble petition is that progenitor (male sex) is no longer among living human beings. This i-s no matter for jollifica , tion. The sad fact is, he receiAed sudder Push to Eternity this morning. Obse : quiet, of same not complete, unless m< I there to see fair play. Trusting- that 'Iyour 'honoured self will be in enjoyment ;| of similar boon Avhen required.—Ran ; BllX."

Again, a native Avho had served in Mesopotamia (but well away from the liring-line) once asked mc. to get him a wound pension. When 1 told the gallant hero to apply ip writing this is bow be did it: "Illustrious Sahib,-—ln time of peace the Army is a noble calling. In time Of AAar, howCAcr, my God. but it is a dangerous business! Xotc, I have oeen injured (seriously) through sitting on pen in office of adjutant-sahib ««t« Ito ibe done about it.-Chundci Da« G Onee, when I was away, I told my gardener to write and let. mc know if the dowers were burned up by the sun . H__ answer was a-s follows: "This is still a pretty hotty place. Divine compassion i -lersjstenly withholds cooling draughts from aboA : e on be-half of vegetation. Result, there will shortly be the. devil of a to-do!" There certainly was something of the sort when 1 returned and found That t'"..e rancal had >old all my fruit ana pocketed the proceeds.