RANDOM SHOTS.

Auckland Star, Volume LI, Issue 206, 28 August 1920, Page 18

RANDOM SHOTS.

"awiimaC

Some write a neighbour's name to lasu, Some write—vain thought-for needful cash, Some write tn please tne country clash And raise a din; For mc, an aim I never fash, 1 write for fun.

Why worry about the shortage of timber for houses? A large advertising hoarding has just gone up in one of the suburbs. Beautiful timber by the lpolc of it. *.•+._•**.*•_■•_.._. The Education Department suggests that in order to prevent them having flat feet, children should march into school on tip-toe. This may bo very desirable, but is it not more important to find something to cure flat minds? •l-M-H'-M-*** We were informed by cable this week that a Welsh miner's sons, who had graduated at a university, were offered masterships at £2 10/ a week, but preferred tv work in the mines. I noticed this week two advertisements in juxtaposition that seemed not unrelated to this item. The City Council advertised for" applications for a lemaie junior assistant in the Public Librnrj —"salary at the rate of £00 per annum." Cnderneath this the Colonial Ammunition Co. sought for girls "age 14 years and over, wages to start £1 5/ per week, minimum wage after four weeks £1 10/ No experience or training necessary." ■l-4-I«*"*"4"l"_r+-_. New Zealand Jews are subscribing liberally to the Zionist movement; but has anybody observed a rush among them to book passages to Palestine? Now that a minister of a great Protestant denomination has celebrated a marriage in a picture theatre, and thereby helped to give the theatre an advertisement, it remains for the same minister or one of his .colleagues to give an address deploring the growing disregard for the sanctity of the marringe tie. *++**+*•_••*•* This week's mystery: "The reduction in the pressure did not affect the volume of gas consumed. It only meant that cooking by gas would bo slower. Householders merely paid for the quantity of gas that their meters registered during the month." Statement by Mr. Lowe during the week. Will someone tell i"> what the Gas Company's object ia in reducing pressure if the volume consumed remains the same? " The House of Lords is never congested, either physically or intellectually," said a member of that august body the other day. Judjring by Parliamentary reports from Wellington, the same remark might be said about our rlouse of Representatives. 4"I»M"I"»"H++ Barries play, "The Admirable Crichton," becomes "Male and Female" on the screen. This suggests interesting possibilities. "Hamlet" might be screened as "Hunter and Hunted, or the Midnight Ghost." "Macbeth" might be improved into "The Blood on the Dagger,"' "Romeo and Juliet" into "The Kiss in the Garden," and "Othello" into "Blind Fury." +4-4"-"l"i"l"l"i"-He was watching carefully what was going on, and whatever happened tho Government would do its duty. (Hear, hear.) —Mt. Massey in the House on the Wellington wntcrside trouble. After this we may have the following: —

The Mayor of Auckland: The citizens i.f Auckland may rest assured that, whatever happens, the Council w'll govern in their interest. (Applause.). It will neither rob tho till nor pack the municipal service with its friends. (Signs of da2J> emotion in the audience, j

Mr. X , M.P.: Ladies and gentlemen, I am an honest man, and whatever happens, I will remain hones*. (Sensation. )

Candidate for Parliament: Let mc tell you, ladies and gentlemen, that if I saw a man attacked in the street, I would not run away. (Cheers.) If my wife became seriously ill, I would nurse her and not turn her ont into the street. (Loud sobs.)

Many columns wore written in the English Press about the arrival of Mary Pickford and her husband in London (or should it be Douglas Fairbanks and his wife?). I join a London journalist in finding the following, from the "Manchester Guardian," most to my taste: "It is certainly hard lines on Miss Mary Pickford and Mr. "Douglas Fairbanks, who have come to spend a quiet honeymoon in London away from the turmoil and publicity of Los Angeles. Choosing a spot where no one had expected to 6ee them, they settled down in a quiet hostelry in Picondilly known as the Ritz Hotel. There, hidden on the balcony, they were perceived by the crowd, and although Mr. Fairbanks, to cscane observation, straddled the balustrade and hung over the street, people still observed him. It must bave been disconcerting to | tho American celebrities."' Indeed most I embarrassing.