MERRIER MOMENTS.

Auckland Star, Volume LI, Issue 73, 27 March 1920, Page 18

MERRIER MOMENTS.

| "1 vc just saved a pound, mummy." I "How did yon do that, darling?" '"I jboTight this guinea nig for a shilling!"' ! .Tones: I say, do you think Wiggins is a man to be trusted? Brown: Trusted? Yes, rather! Why, I'd trust him with !my life. Jones: Yes; but with anything lof value, 1 mean ! Counsel: Now, where did he kiss you? j Plaintiff: On the lips, sir. Counsel:'£o, jno; you don't understand! I mean, 'where were you} Plaintiff (blushing): In his arms, sir. ] Aged Criminal (who has just got a I life sentence): Oh. yer Honor. ] shall | never live to do it! .Judge (soothingly) : i Never mind! Do as much of it as you r a "' j Wife: "Be sure to advertise for l-'iclo iin the morning papers." Next day the j wife read as follows in the newspapers: I "Lost, a mangy lap-dog. with one eye ! and no tail. Too fat to walk. Answers 'to the'name of Fido. If returned stuffed \ £15 reward." THERE WAR A REASON". ' "I know a man that has been married thirty years and he spends all his evenings at home." I "That's what I call love." "Oh, no, it's paralysis." SHOELESS HAPPINESS. "Can't you assume a little more pleasing expression of countenance?" asked the photographer. "Y-yes," hesitatingly answered the Bitter. "Wait a minute and I'll take oil these new shoes."