ANDOM SHOTS

Auckland Star, Volume XLVIII, Issue 143, 16 June 1917, Page 14

ANDOM SHOTS

by

Some write a neighbour's name to lash, Some write —vain thought—for needful cash Some write to please the country clash And raise a din: For mc, an aim I never fash, I write for fun.

If it ie poeeible to summon the spirits of famous dead to earth, perhape the most useful to the Allies would be the ghost of Helen of Troy. "la this the face that launched a thousand ships—?" *44*£4i4£4 Still they come! San Domingo has broken off relations with Germany. Horace Walpole eaid in Chatham's time that he asked each morning what new victories there were. His German prototype may ask each day what new enemies have declared themselves. If Bethmann-Hollweg keeps a diary these days it ehould provide highly int resting reading for posterity. Some of the entries might resemble one in Mr. Gladstone's Jiary in the troublous times of the eighties, whe.i he had the greatest difficulty in keeping his Cabinet together. "A good Cabinet; only two resignations." I quote from memory, but that m the gist of the thing. "A fair day," Bethmann-Hollweg might write; "only two ruptaree." ********** A correspondent, whose apparent belief in the influence of this column cheers mc tip considerably, writes to mc about the taxation of bachelors, a. subject on which he feele strongly. He says I may be a bachelor, hut ho is good enough to think! that would not make any difference to I my views. I'm glad to say I have had ) more sense. Not only am I not a bachelor, but I am an exception to Mr. Dooley'e rule that 'most janiueee is onhappily married, an' I guess its thrue of their wives, too." My correspondent lie very indignant about the selfishness lof bachelors, and thinks they ehould be ' compelled to do something for their j country financially, "since they have so miserably failed otherwise." No doubt I the criticism is deserved in a good many cases, and we may have a tax on bachelors before long- in this country. It is no new thing. Already we make the income tax lighter for the man with a family. But we mustn't be too hard on ■ bachelom. Lord Kitchener was a bacheI lor, and so is Mr. B.ilfour. So ie Lord J Hai , but, hueh, if I mentioned that name I might be accused of -being a proGerman. ********** Mr. G. W. Rnssell, M.P. for Avon, and, as "M.C-K-" in the "Prese" puts it, "occasionally a member of the National Ministry," is not so well known in this part of the world M lie deserves to be. I The other day he fell heavily upon the ' Christchureh "Pree»" for critcising him Chrietchureh "Preae" for critcising him. "iLCJC", whose weekly column of wit and humour may be known to some of my readers acquainted with Wellington ! and Christcburch journalism, has imagined, ac the beet that can be done under the sad circumstance of being unable to get any further news from Mr. Roeeell, > the publication of a record of things I which the Minister of Internal Affairs has not said or done: "A deputation waited upon Mr. RuseeH yesterday to complain that the Education Department wan not treating the country fairly. Mr. Russell replied that the affairs of that Department were the concern of his colleague the Minister for Education, and that he could not interfere in the matter." "Yesterday a deputation was discussing certain matters with the Minister of Defence. While the 1 deputation was in progress the Hon G. W. Russell entered Sir James Allen's room. He at once apologised and withdrew." This may seem a little severe, but—well. I'd like to bear Christehurch opinion upon it. ********** The dealings of Medical Boards with recruite are responsible tor some good stories. A correspondent in a WeJington paper tells of a man with a wooden leg 'being caJled up in the ballot and granted exemption on the ground that the artificial limb was affected by the borer! The correspondent is honest enough to say he cannot vouch for the etory, which is a pity. However, it may take its place among the war stories that Jive and are told of in succeeding generations, such, for instance, as the one about the man rejected ibeeiuse of his bad teeth, who exclaimed indignantly that he wanted to fight the enemy, not to eat them. That has been toJd, as new, of this war. It certainly was to-ld in the Boer war, and I think I have seen it stated that it could be traced much I further back. Penhaps the protest was I originally made by a recruit of Agampmnon's when the expedition against Troy was being prepared. I iiiiiii-ti* Senator La Follette, one of the opponents of American participation in the I war, has a relative with an oven more curious mind than his own. Representative La Kollette has suggested that Great Britain should sell Caiinda to the United (States for £2,(10(1,(100,000. What armourplated minds such people must have. The fact that Canada may not want to be sold apparently has not been able to pierce Mr. La Folio.te's defences. I suppose we shall next have the sugiestion ;hat Britain should sell Australia to Japan. ********** One would think there wore few things worse than the submarine menace. We are twkl that drink is, and probably many people will agree. But it looks as if the Americans could produce quite a long list. In Illinois thorp has !>een a movement to limit the height of heels to one and one-oighth inches. Those who proposed the measure told the House of Representatives that highheeled shoes worn by women were a greater danger to the country than the German submarines. Foot troubles caused 80 per cent of the rejections of army applicants, and these troubles were inherited from mothers who wore high shoes. 1 am not a scientist, but isn't there a biological law about acquired characteristics not being transmitted? Women have been wearing tight corsets and high heels, drinking too much tea. and doing other unhygienic thing.*, for many years, and men have been drinking too much and eating too much, and taking too little exercise, and generally insulting the human form divine. Yet their Sons held the line at Ypres, and broke it at Messinea. That there is too much unfitness is obvious, but it seems to mc absurd to talk wildly about • physical degeneration in the light of the I achievements of both sides in this war.