RANDOM SHOTS

Auckland Star, Volume XLVII, Issue 168, 15 July 1916, Page 14

RANDOM SHOTS

ZAMIEL

The Dominion Parliament |g ttJJL t believe, in session; hut, for all that it fc doing, it might as well ho prorogued. 1 endeavour to read tho reports of nr legislators' doings, but I flnd it sible to take any interest in them. iC ahould be no Parliamontary debates im war time, and no legislation save tie measures necessary for the sneee«M (prosecution of tho war. To dtaeta trivialities while the Empire la pwein through a great crisis is to come eW2 to Nero in the matter of caUoumcZ This is no new discovery of mine, for Artemue Ward was struck by the bum incongruity during tho American eta war. He wrote at that times— "We don't lack great Gen'rab, md w certlnly don't luck brave setenT —'but there's cne thing I wish we , did lack, and that la our present l Congress. . Gentlemen of the Bealt- & of the Home, yon've eot thai , and draw'd your pay and Bitot ■ strmmer-complalnt speeches ten* ' ennff. The country et latm! ! lncloodln the undersined, is diet' , gustcd with you. Why don't «m' : . show us B statesman—«nrnhed»' ■who can make a speech that ,w!B ' hit the poplar bnrt right under the ' Great Public wesldt? Why dent : yon show us n stntcsmnn who eae : rise up to the Emergency gn* cave in the ■Emergency's netf? ! Congress, yon -won't do. Go boot,* yon miMerahle devils—go homel^ I do not suppose the foregoing langnM is quite parliamentary, though it Iβ cc* tainly more polite than that used to some parliamentarians. Possibly, weie I to a-pply the passage I have quoted to the' New Zealand Parliament, I migit commit the terrible crime known a "breach of privilege." I feel sure, hewever, that the military censor will adobject to my giving good old WvA remarks a local applicaton; and just ti present the censor is It—his smile li heaven to a newspaper man, and lib frown has more terrors than arreit by the Sergeant-at-Arms and confinement i| the Wellington equivalent for the Oloefc Tower at St. Stephen's. *4*i£±*i** ITom various quarters I hear dot mutterings again6t the Government which is alleged to be pandering to tti farmers and neglecting the interest* gf the wage-earners in the industrial oe» munity. It is eaid, for inatanco, , tiat the taxation of war proflk will be so "engineered" tW the agriculturists and paetoraliita fJB find a loop-hole of escape. There: m heavy odds offered that we shall haven daylight saving law, because the ttmm are opposed to it. The farmora, I btlieve, aver that the cows will not tfrw to be milked an hour earlier than si present. But does anyone want - tt» farmers to change their hours of labontt It is generally understood that faraurf hours all the year round, are from iijlight till dark, and it is quite impossUiV for them to "save" any daylight, Tie alteration of ."summer time": Iβ eoWy for'those/who work Fantere are a znoet conservative class, h Holland they attempted a '*VMkl* against the new time, and in KngUad they tried to defeat the bill by politiml agitation; but in both countries ti» change has been carried into effect id "nobody seems one penny the woim." By the way, Shakespeare seems t» have 'oreeeen the introduction of daylight saving as a war measure; for it "King Henry V." we find the King Mjh ing to Gioster: "For our bad neighbour makes ue early stirrers, which H both ■healthful and good husbandry.": Hμ "bad neighbour" to-day ie Gtreaaj. Here is a list of further reference ty the immortal Bard of Avon, which aha* that he was not slavishly attached t> the observance of times and aettOMf I iwiu be bold wRa tta£— "Henry VHI." Hath he not reason to tarn . back an hour in a day?—"Com«4r of Errors." . I'll not 'be tied to hens no*;'pointed times.—"Taming of tfct'w ; 6hrew." Scratch it out of the c»lend*r>— i "Pericles." . . 1 One time wfll owe anot^err ,l **Corlolanne." '. - 'Twas two. . . and noir tt».3 . dock strikes one.—"Comedy.. «■-.'• '_ Errors." 4*4*±44l±* This ia an advertising age. Have y* anything to sell, from a needle,tojß anchor t Iβ there anything y° n _*Js from a wife to a -watch-dog?. Adwrw your offer or your wish,, and y?jjj!*. certainly succeed in your aim, wliett* it be to get rid of something, 0r..» acquire something. A short time *ff a gentleman desiring a houeeWJ«|' spent half-a-crown in making hie Wj» known through the columns, of *■ " Star, 1, and the result was that .J* * tamed offers of eervice from more «** seventy women. Think of it! Se' eD v women for thirty pence—leas : -*^*i^ halfpenny each, or cheapeT thin *** who, according to the GUbertum IJ* could once be had at two a penny! : B used to be the case that women •* scarce and high-priced in New Z«M«"| but evidently the war has ctanpd *■ that. Maori -women are not *° 't'JJ however, as the pakeha variety, if'•• may judge from the experience w • gentleman who advertised for w> M be "iiis wife. He got nothing like ievag replies; but he got his money*-*"* 1 in the following episfle:— "aear Pakelra,—l see yow w«) In te 'Star' of Sth July. Yoa wtf* te Maori wahlne7 I »m hlatete years of old and te halt Mao* ■My father te l)oss tangata of ■— "*; Pa. Maori girl don't want te nenrdnnn pakeha. Yon so to te IJJ* and make te flght, like my «OB«B» and toother. I think yon » shirker, like te More. lon «*• te flght, come tiaek. and &* n • talk Tvlth yon; make te nrnte W and bye." A most commendable letter for* ■Jcaste Maori girl, "nbrteen y*".* oH"—if it wms reaUy wriiten W-» •which I take leave to doubt on > evidence Would a Maori m»Wen «•* her fathor "boss tangata"! I-J*™r think she would have written "»»£ tiTa." Stffl tiiere is a halfe-easte about " boss tangata," showing tt« v letter, if not genuine, is at le**t W conceived. ********** The intuition of woman is ******?: The latest exemplification of t>l ß is to te found in a story in *£ Chat," in iriiich I find this statement: "She licard him taewlnp lil» «*■ on the hall mat, and We or£ Hteod the majer enfflciently to that thts portended aonietsi"*After this I must be ear«ful ** let Mrs Z, catch mc using the (I ? as a httntlkorchlef, or picking fP. T . g with a rod-hot poker, lest •hej*» dm danweiog ooncinelons ire ßl $j '•DUO*..