RANDOM SHOTS

Auckland Star, Volume XLVII, Issue 49, 26 February 1916, Page 17

RANDOM SHOTS

Some write a neighbor's name to lash, Some write—vain thought—for needful cash, Some write to pleaso the country clasU And raise a din; For-me, an aim I never fash, I write Jot fan.

The law may .be a "haes," but it has never, been ass enough to take seriously the pretensions of astrologers, palmists, and other varieties of fortune-teller. Therefore the Auckland magistrate who the other day held up to unholy ridicule the silly or designing young man who professed to tell.from the staTs when and.how two Waikato girls would marry eiroply upheld ancient precedente. Readers of "Hudibras" will remember how, ; when certain astrologers wqre arrested, a minion of the law fered off at them the gibe:—

"T>ho stars determine I'ou are my prisoners, base vermin!" But, in spite of everything, the belief persists that "the stars in their courses" have a direct influence upon the dee■tLniee of individuals and nations. According, to the "Song of Deborah," written come three or four thousand years ago, the heavenly "bodies conspired to secure the defeat of the enemies of Israel; and, according to Tennyson, planetary influences were at work in favour of Britain during the Crimean war. In "Maud" th.c hero is told as he goes to battle: —

Of a 'hope for the world in the coming wars— . "iAu<i Iα that hope, dear soul, let trouble have rest, Knowing I tarry for thee," and pointed to Mars As foe glow'd like a ruddy shield on the Lion's lireast.

This is a reference to the fact that from March 24, 1854, until the following May, the planet Mara' was in the constellation Leo. In the course of a recent lecture at tfic Royal Institution, London, Professor Turner admitted that "it was difficult to disabuse one's mind of the notion that there-was something in the conjunction of the British lion and Mars." He .went on to say-that Mars was in Leo in April, 1901, during the J3oer war, and the fiery planet occupied the same unusual position on Ist January, 1016. Well, we won the Boer war, and if there is anything in astrology we are bound to win in the present conflict.

4444444444 And right here comes along an American astrologer, L. Edward Johndro, of Detroit, with a starry prediction that , there will be overtures for peace in May or June next: He also drags in Mar-j and the Lion. Listen to the learned jargon which he talks:— "The moon's trine to Jove in the twelfth measures live to six months hence—suggesting peace overtures may succeed by May or June, 191(5. -This seems to be the earliest possible peace period warranted by this figure and the horoscopes of the .European rulers. ".Further, the war began near the time of the solar eclipse in 27 dcg. 35.-ruin. Leo; It can hardly end until iMars shall have passed over and away from this point Xor ■will tie 1 British lion be' weaned to peace ■while .Mars remains In Leo. "Again, the European zenith at the time or the eclipse was Virgo. How can the astrologer expect peace until Mars shall ihave culminated? ''Perhaps we may see peace by about June 12 or 33, WIG; hardly before." If Mr Johndro did this sort of thin" for money, he would be up before the "beak" as a common impostor; but as he does it in *ho name of science and for pure love, he escapes. Mr Johndro is entitled to be heard with some respect, despite his weird and mysterious language, for the "New York Herald" the other day, in publishing the foregoing forecast, stated that in June, 1914,' he wrote a letter to the "Herald" calling attention to the fact that the planets presaged difficulties in Europe, and that the countries affected were Serbia, Austria and Russia. •He added that the situation was most threatening for Europe's peace, but he hoped it could be adjusted by diplomacy. And, of course, everybody knows that the diplomats came very near to averting the war. "Raphael," a London astrologer, has declared (after the event) that when writing his predictions for 1914 he "saw the ominous signs of the conflict, but preferred not to say anything about ,-iit, thinking it would blow over." All of which goes to show that while astrology may not be all hollow pretence and barefaced swindle, it is very far from being an exact'^cience. 4444444444 Before leaving the stars and planets for things mundane, I am tempted to recall that the astrologers generally predict a bad end for the German Crown Prince. He was born on May 6th, 1882, the-day of the-murders in Phoenix Park, Dublin, when the astrological conditions were as-follow: "Sun in conjunction with Saturn and Neptune in Taurus, which rules Ireland." It is highly appropriate that the "bull" should rule Ireland; but it beats a mere layman like "Zamiel" to understand how the same planetary conjunctions could be ominous of a foul tragedy in Ireland and v of (say) the hanging of Little Willie Hohenzollern. For Willies sign is not the Bull, but the Giddy* Goat! 4444444444 One of the uncalculated results of- the war may be the adoption of the metric system of "weights and measures in England. The French.made a big advance towards a cordial "entente" five years ago, when they adopted Greenwich time and put., back all their clocks by nine minutes and twenty-one seconds to brin" them into agreement witn English tim£ pieces. It is now suggested that Britain should reciprocate by adopting ' the metric system. This recalls the fact that a good' many years ago the British Parliament discussed the subject of introducing the metric system, but the idea never found much favour. The crowning argument that killed the proposal was that of a front bench politician,, who heatedly opposed the appointment of a Select Committee, on the ground that will be introducing some'damned thing like decimal fractions," 4444444444 •The London Directory for 1916 shows few changes that could be- adduced a3_. evidence that the country is in the midst of the most stupendous crisis in its history. The principal changes are: (1) The disappearance of a. number of Gorman names; and, (2) the first appearance of the heading among the trades — "Clothes Pegs . (Wooden) •Makers." The latter phenomenon has

raised .the question: Were all these f clothes-pegs formerly made in Germany? By way of reply, the following lines from the preface to the second edition of Sorrow's "Lavengro" have'been quoted: .Can you speak the Roman tongues -- Can you make the fiddle ring? Can you poisou a jolly bog? And split the stick for a linen string? The closing line seems a pretty plain intimation that the gipsies are adepts at making wooden clothes-pegs; and ol course gipsies (have not hitherto figured in the London Directory. w" ZfttfZ*** A writer in the "English Review" recently committed himself to the forcible remark that "the dreary stream of lies from Copenhagen and Amsterdam should be dammed." I would go further, and say that Rotterdam and Vblendam, and all other "dam" lies. Should be stopped. The Copenhagen fairy tales are not so prominent as those emanating from Holland, which latter land, as the schoolboy remarked, is a "low, iying country." Some of Holland's dams have lately burst, with disastrous, consequences. ~i*o\v, if the stream of dammed lies —no, •I mean the dammed stream of lies — were to burst, there might he much more "dam"-age done. . Better, perhaps, let the stream severely alone, for apparently any talk about it is provocative of ibad language.

There is evidently urgent need for a Daylight Saving Bill at Home. A London daily paper, expatiating on the long hours worked by railway transport officers, says: "His day begins at cock-crow, and, if he is lucky, ends at the same time the next morning. But he is not often lucky, arid the result is he may be kept on the go for a few additional hours." And of course this could be easily managed by putting the clock back two or three hours at cock-crow "the next morning." A recent issue of "Home Chat" contained the following valuable piece of information:— "To clear the complexion. First I buy a yard of Turkish towelling which I make up Into two washinggloves; one of these I keep for the' face only, which I boil every week." I observe some faces in Queen Street that look as though they would be improved by a weekly boiling; but during the present hot weather most people are content with a daily broiling or roasting to clear their complexion. 4i±i-i±£iii The harassed housewife.who, owing to the dearnes3 of beef, is working off her ancient poultry on the long-suffering family, will he glad to have a good recipe from the "Farmer and Stockbreeder." Here it is:— " There are many ways of cooking old hens. They may be boiled very slowly for as many hours as they are old." Suppose the hen is a year old, you have only to multiply 365 by 24, and you get the number of hours necessary to boil it in order to clear its complexion or otherwise make it presentable. Very simple and economical, isn't it? "" ' ~ ? -"' '