WAR STORIES.

Auckland Star, Volume XLVI, Issue 71, 24 March 1915, Page 10

WAR STORIES.

THE BILLETTING..ON MISS MALLABY.

(By »DEASJE.)

•1 won't have even one!"' ' v ' The tones of Miss Mallabyfs Toice- s manifested both and v fierce temper. ._ •- I "Will you take -in two soldiers, \ ma'am?"' repeated the civil sergeant. i *- How many times do you expect mc r to tell you that I -won't? "Walk off. I t am going to spend the week-end with t my sister, and I can't be bothered with ] a lot of-riff-raff like you!" I She banged the door in- the face of * the policeman. Miss Mallaby. whose years liad passed * fifty, knew her own mind, and so far 8 had always got her own war. As for J courage, she would have bundled out of ' "doors the great War Lord of Europe v himself if that August monarch had r dared - to enter her house unbidden. *■ '"The impudence!" she exclaimed to c Martha, her only servant, who, to the "* credit of both, be it stated, had been in the service of the peremptory Miss Mai- c laby for a quarter of a century. ~ I am going to spend the night with c Mrs. Mason."' she continued; "you must * go to your brothers, and must get back * to-morrow by tie three o'clock train, and have a cup of tea ready for mc, and a hot muffin by half-past iouT." , Miss MaHa-by loved the word ''"must."" t "Would it not be safer, ma'am, for mc to ?t3i.; liere and take care of the house? I "have heard that there is a 1 great many rough men about." , "You do what I tell you. If they have the impudence to send a soldier _. here, he will find the door locked in his j face Let him go elsew&ere—and get drunk." ( This was Miss Mallabv's last word of ( contempt. Being a " life teetotaller," ( she w-as against drinking; in fact, the ■woman was against ewrytbing that the baser half ofcreation is understood to ] enjoy. She gloried in her antagonism to the depraved tastes ot men. As aa outward and visible sign that she hated ] smoking, she had sewn a lifjtle "bit* of 1 yellow ribbon on the breast of. , eyerv blouse, jacket, coat, frock, ; cloak, mantle, and mackintosh, against intoxicants.* against cards, against ' betting-, - against "swearing". ' against ~ even wooing, she proclaimed her repugnance by blue, green," purple; black, and white morsels-of silk. From the far-off days of Agricola downwards Wappenby -las been, a gathering place for troops-in times _o£ war; Penda, Harold. theXonqueror, the fierce old warrior Archbishop of York, and a score of others have assembled armies at Wappenby: and as soon as the authorities decided on mobilisation long trains from east, west, south, and especially from the north, poured soldiers aU through the 1 day. all through the nigH£fifty thousand ofthem into the and miles round innumerable tentsrrose.Jil:c;a mist bufCthey were not. sufaeienL" billet twenty thousand men in_the_borongh., ~ .Miss .-about eight, hundred a year —she spent most of it; itj__stibseriptions -to; >-societies whose names~;began with -"airti"'—Hv-ed in a large house; the anthofilEies acted-'leni-ently in assigning two men only to such a roomy dwelling. "T-lave come to pass the night with you. Ruth," she explained to her sister on reaeffing-fhe"farznfiahse.' "They*wanted mc to take two soldiers, and I told the r -see—him-and everybody else far enough before.l -would do anything of the sort. Two common soldiers, good gracious! They wooU'very likely murder us in our sleep, or -worse; If any soldiers go to my house they~will find the door locked in their faces! - " :: n. "First-class, "Wappenby, and look sharp," commanded Miss Mallaby, as she rattled the ledge of the ticket guichet with a couple of half-crowns. Inside two clerks were plainly discussincr horses. Miss Mallaby, the most active vice-president of the Society for the Suppression of Betting among the Working Classes, heard distinctly the words; •Three to-one -on Simon Surf." '■"First-class, Wappenby!*" she reiterated more loudly, and -knocked the woodwork. with greater force. " It was Saturday afternoon, and-she was the only passenger visible, but inasmuch as Catonby is a rural station, and Miss Mallaby was twenty minutes before time, no safe inference eouM- be drawn from the general, sleepiness of the place. "Are jion gamblers, going to keep mc waiting fall yjiristmas?" the spinster almost screamed. "Eirst-dassj <Wagpenby, and cpnekr" "No tickets issued until the trains - come in, ma'am,"" said one of the. lads quietly. , "Why-cannot,l have-a. ticket until the. train comes?" - "Orders." "I have nothing-to do-with your orders. I want a ticket for Wappenby, firstclass." . "Sorry, cannot issue one." "I am going to Wappenby, I tell you. Have I to go without a ticket?" 'There may not be a train, ma'am." ""So train? Why?" "Suspended." "You may- suspend what you like. I ran going to Wappenby, and I want a ticket; first-class." "Senvice quite irregular, ma'am. It is not likely that there will be any more trains to-day. Haven't you seen -the notice posted up straight before your Dose?" ... Then how have I to get to Wappenby?" "Walk," replied the clerk. He was growing tired of her domineering-manner. "Walk! and twenty-seven miles! Here, young man, be civil, or else I'll come inside." Since the door was locked, and there was no entrance except through the aperture for issuing tickets, the clerks could dare to be sarcastic. "You might borrow a bicycle, ma'am," suggested the younger, "or sneak one." "Or take the tram," added the other. Even the wrath of such .a determined woman is ineffectual against banter. Miss Mallaby left the booking-hall in a race, and spent a-quarter of an hour in stalking from one extremitycjf the platform to the other. At the end of that period a farmer and the stationniister-Appeared. "What's this, Mr. Parsons, aboot neea the former asked. ; "I don't think that any more passenger trains will run to-day, Mr. Brown." "'Troops?" ~ "We are rolling them jnto Wappenby like the Don in a spate." - -"Will there be onny trains to-morrow?" - "Not likely." ZZZ Z —Z. "*- ---r-"*Maybe an odd one or two." -"What time;"" ~--■" —"Not the subtest idea. 1 Ba _\ pm-iitf a notice as soon as I get any inforina«on." -Z.-

—m.-' ~ .. Miss Mallaby. did-not.reachjiome .until nearly nine on Monday night. It had taken four hours to travel twenty-seven miles, and her temper was not quite as serene as —'Well, as thatof Moses or Job. "If the kettle is not boiling and" a hot muffin ready when I get home, there will be ructions," declared Miss. Mallaby. . Ructions.'- It was.beillam! "Every window in the house, from atticto basement was ablaze with.light! .Someone with a band_as heavy,as that of ,_a.blacksmith- hammered the keys _pf the • piano,whilst a shrill tenor screamed-out "Champagne - Charley isi-my -Name.-'.'- " From-'a bedroom window hung a pair of long legs in khaki putties on the knees of which rested a banjo, and a Irishman howled to the world that it was a long, long way to Tipperary. with many voices supporting the statement in riotous chorus. Ructions!" Undoubtedly there were ructions! And this was the quiet house that she had left, a quiet house in a sleepy street, an old maid's house; every One of its seventeen spotless rooms smelling of lavender as to the bedrooms, and beeswax and turpentine as to the lower apart ments, a house glorious with walnut, mahogany, and rosewood; a house proud of its carpets, its mirrors, its curtains, a woman's house. From every room poured forth the roar of song in volumes, as thick as the smoke which issues from the windows of a country mansion when it is on fire, and most of all the sounds of riotous mirth rolled out from the drawing-room which looked out on the <rarden. In that room half a score of throats were bawling "I'm Off to Tipperarv in the Morning," whilst another ten "shouted "Roaming in the Gloaming" in five different keys with all the strength of lung possessed by Yorkshire lads. One moment Miss Mallaby gasped for breath. With breath came ire. She rushed through the open door with flyin» skirts and, an umbrella whirling above her head, dashed among the festive men. One blow from the immemorial weapon of womanhood fell on the broad shoulders I of Corporal Morris,, who. stood six feet three; from the flanks of Private Dickenson flew the dust; she sent flyin" the 'forage cap of Goodacre; the parallel" lines Jert by steel ribs decorated the skull of ±ord. She raised Cain. Homer alone could have done jusface to the beer bottles that were broken,., the. tumblers- smashed, the iquor wasted, liquor that a month later would have fetched half a sove--SSS fr> g ' aSS on the str icken fields, of .Quesney, had- not the hu»e corporal managed to slip hi s left arm round the waist of the Amazon, lifted her off her feet as lightly as if she had been a flower, and grasped her wrist. Cieese it, y ou she-divvle. cheese it'" he-commanded. ' "' '--■--■ ■

And is that the way ye shpake to a lady.- demanded Sergeant Callahan, who entered at that moment; "putdown the lady-on- the sofy, aiid .scut " I : The sergeant's manner, both of speak- ™° ivas-; quiet andrTfcni. Having "been through-the Sonth African campaign,-a line- of-ribbons with many bars -ornamented -his broaa chest. : "What for ye. ma'am'" he inquired. - . ~ .'. -"-"-"-""T.. ..." . .''/ Toil' can clear" out." '- '•yery sor%, ma'am, but that is ex- <%. wha 4y*"e cannot do. Regulations." •\Vhafare you doing in my house?" ' i'pcimT into the boudoir, ma'am," he requested, and offered his arm. The gaping reservists saw her follo"w him like a lamb. , 'The.way-that man has-witb women! ** -whispered Corpora] Morris, awestruck. _As..they_ passed-.the-kitchen--M.ss Mallaby glanced within. Five men were toasting red herrings -with her silver forks. Poor Miss Mallaby! She groaned. In the little sittingroom which the sergeant had termed the "boudoir" they eight men playing penny nap on her Louis Qirinze table, with the omnipresent beer bottles, tumblers, pipes, and dense tobacco smoke, and once more the prim old maid groaned. "Out ye go, ye ugly beggars, ivery mother's son ay ye," ordered the sergeant. ■He opened the window to its widest for the entrance of clean air; he rubbed the table with a duster; he drew up her lounge chair, and' stood respectfully before the mistress of the house. "Now tell mc all about it, sergeant." "A cup of tay now; sure and a°cup of tay would " He hurried to the kitchen and in two nrimite3 returned with a tray. Plainly he knew Ma -way about, for a snowwhite cloth covered the handbier, on which were arranged with due regard to symmetry a little steaming teapot, a ciqva-eaucer, a sugar basin, and a cream jng, together with a plate which carried a deliriously hot muffin. "Now-we shine, maJarn," he said cheerfolly. "Where's Martha?" "Martha? Is that the unprotected' lady who has.Jocked hersel' among the trunks in the attic since Saturday?" . "She isn't a. lady. She's a woman, and a. fool—a big enough fool to do even' that." V. MissMallaby sipped her tea and felt comforted. In addition to the muffin she also ate a couple of biscuits. "Now tell mc what it is all about," she ordered a second time with the air of an empress, v ■ • - "We are having a sing-song,"' he explained "First of all, who are we?" "The-troops billeted here." "Troops! Billeted! I told the policeman in plain English that I -would not let a single soldier enter the door." "Yes, ma'am." "And you said troops?" "Seventeen, ma'am; mc and sixteen more." "Seventeen!" "Yes, ma'am, seventeen." "Out goes every one this minute." "Steady, ma'am, steady; where can the poor boys go at this time of the night? They can't shleep on the flags; think of the draughts, ma'-im; they might catch- cold." "'ln the morning, then-; what -do "you think of yourselves? The house is worse than a pig-sty." "Steady, now, steady!" pleaded the sergeant, who used the words-from daylight to dark with the men under him. Af tndrnjng .arilV It waff: "Steady, .'i't'.isr steady"'; With aiming practice", few momeuts came. '"Steady, now, steady!— slow and steady"; bayonet exercise: "Steady, men, steady!" with pitching tents, digging trenches, advancing to the attack.- retiring by -sections, always: *sSteady. there, steady!" "- ~ .. "Steady," m"a?am, ¥teady!"** he repeated "The air is simply solid with the naati--eat tobacco smoke thai ever " — She hesitated at the word she was about to utter. "Steady, ma'am, steady!" 1~-\ "Ancl tfie swilling:of.aleTand" the bawl-" ing and shouting' and whistling, aad— and—swearing! I heard it!" *^sp^apg(asassjteß*&B^ss3sa^3^s".-i

"Surely you wouldiiofgrndge thitTnien an .evening's pleasure when., half of ihem Won't see Christmas." "Half of them won't see Christmas? Why?" "Because they will beehbt.""Shot? Why will they be shotT" "So that you can sleep safe o' nights, 'ma'am," , '"• vr. Miss Mallaby's life had petrified. She went to bed --.every night ;at ; ten, M*» asleep in five ininutea, and woke at seven; No noise - disturbed rher before that sacred hour. From five she dimly heard rumblings in her dreams, the steps of many feet, sounds that were suspicious of sweeping and brushing, but still she slept on. Awaking as the clock struck, she was startled by the unnatural silence of the house. It was so still, so. perfectly still, as to suggest that even the furniture had been taken out of the rooms. She could hear the echo of her breathing. Slowly came back the recollections of I the previous evening, the riot, the stench of tobacco smoke, the spilling of beer — the abominations. "So you can sleep safe o' nights'." ■ Where had she heard those words that seemed to have the scent of an Irish acr. cent hanging about them? "Sleep" safe?" She has always slept safe; just las certainly as the sun rose in the morning, and as the days grew longer after I Christmas I "Christmas?" Ah, she remembered! I A sergeant had affirmed that half of the laughing and shouting crew wonld be I dead before Christmas so that she could I sleep safe at night. She sprang from the bed, dressed j quickly and -hurried downstairs. "A man told mc," began Martha in an" angry and sullen voice, "that I must have seventeen pints of tea ready by half-past eight, and four gallons and a-half of boiling water by nine, and I wont-lift a finger for thim, and I told, him so." "You will make up the biggest, .fire you can, and fill all the kettles we have, and the pans, or pack your trunk." said. Miss Mallaby. VII. At half-past eight the hungry reserv, ists trooped noisils into" the house" like a paek--of lads. Tuey had risen at five, in order to tidy- the rooms-. - Every window had been opened to its widest, every- floor had been swept by - vigorous arms; every table and chair polished; every mantelpiece, mirror" arid cushion dusted. At a quarter past six the - men had hastened to the racecourse on which they had drilled, marched and countermarched for an hour" and a-half —certainly they Were hungry. Instead of the depressing smell of weak tea, the fragrance of strong French; coffee greeted their nostrile; instead of three-quarters of a pound of dry bread per man, the tables were loaded with eggs nnH ham, bacon in the drip, tarts, cheese-cakes, Dgtnerara augar^ l rich..cr.eam.-rrit_**'aß a breakfast for a king that.layrbeforc •their.eyes. •; "Well, I'm —I„Tne.an astonished," exClaimed Sergeant Cailaghaii, changing hastily the participle as-he caught_the "Stern: - erc-rjrf—Mise- -Mallabyfixed upon him. • "At what time do you have dinner-?" demanded the inistress-~of the hpiise 7 . ;"At half-past twelve, ma'am."- ~S*" ■ -"Do you mind telling the soldiers that I will" attend to it. They need not trouble about buying anything. I anf sorry that I was snappy last night.; ' How long will you _stay here?" j "I am aFratcTthat" we cannot get under canvas for a week." " ''Afraid!" ene'exclaim^^h _ lltt's?~lso*t'n, j "afraid! I'll make you change your mind with your afraid. I'll make you say sorry." "But, ma'am " ~ "There are no 'buts' in this house, sergeant. Tea at five, supper at eight, aud a sing-song every night, and; bring as many friends as you like. I am going to sleep safe at' nights with a clear conscience." VIII. The soldiers, had a gloriou3 week.J The dinners in the eyes of the billeted men excelled the breakfasts, the teas beat the dinners, but the suppers, to which every man might bring a friend, the suppers were indescribable. At every, meal Miss Mallaby presided with the little bits of ribbon prominent on her frock. In speech she acquired quite a military accent: i "Corporal Morris," she commanded sternly one afternoon, "tell mc what societies are represented by the coloured silks on the tunic of Sergeant Callaghan." . "Societies, ma'am? Them things isn't societies; they're engagements. And you, yourself, ma'am, must have had ycr fair share of engagements." "You wretch! I've only been engaged . once, and if Arthur had lived we should have been married thirty years ago. Engagements, forsooth! Do you take mc for a flirt?" "Lor', ma'am,, the. word engagements with a soldier means 'battles." "Battles? - Then the ribbons don't . mean societies—ronly. fights?" . - The remark opened' the eyes of Cor, poral Morris. Mjgb Mallaby had mistaken the badges of which CalUghan i was so proud for certificates of membership of as many organisations for interfering with the business of other people. Since she had only five and he had seven, Miss' Mallaby ■ had looked upon the sergeant with owe. The information furnished by the corporal caused Oallaghan to fall in her estimation like Lucifer. "Sergeant," she said sternly, "I want you all to be as happy And as comfortable as possible in my house, but remember this—'l .will not pay one. farthing for beer or cigarettes, or any other, forms of wickedness —not one farthing."

-r3^S£*3__^E_cg^K^ss_^^i_a'^_ffi-_gißg*S'