RANDOM SHOTS

Auckland Star, Volume XLVI, Issue 68, 20 March 1915, Page 15

RANDOM SHOTS

WMHSESC

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A War Tax! Yes, certainly, let us have one, by all means. The New Zealand world and his wife are agreed that this country must bravely face the music and "dp its bit" in the way of paying part of the cost of the colossal war now about to begin in earnest. It is easy to agree upon the general principle, for the very good reason that we are committed to large expense, and the money to meet it simply must be found. It is when the question of the incidence of the tax is reached that diTorsity of view becomes painfully apparent. I suppose it is ''human nature" that accounts for the burning desire on everybody's part to tax the other fellow or the other fellow's luxuries. Mr. Harold Beauchamp, good Liberal though he be, made a bad break when he suggested a tax of one per cent on all imports and exports. It looked at first like an impost on the rich shippers and merchants, of whom he is one; but on examination it was seen that tbe tax would chiefly fall on the producers and consumers of this country—that is, on the masses, who are not rich. Much debate followed, and was only stopped when it was pointed out that the discussion was a political dodge—a device of the Reformers (who will not have a chance of imposing the war tax) to get material for criticism of the Liberal Government's proposals when they are made. The scope of the discussion may be embalmed in Terse, thus:— On whom, then, •ball tbe war tax fan? "On everyone," says Beauchamp; "Tax food and clothing, 'beer and all, For that's the way to reach 'em!" What! Tax the farmer—tax the poor— Tie worker's breakfast table? A better plan there must 'be, sure; So find it. If yon're able! On whom, then, should the war tax fall? Of course, upon the rich; These, bloated ones must, one and all, Be tuned to concert pitch. I 'Horse-racing ought to pay Its share. And every kind of sport; The "movie" so owe, the theatres— . All luxuries, in short! 80 pat the tax on ferry fares, On billiards and on bowls, On football and on cricket, too; Tax golf at all Its holes! Oh, put the tax on sweets and "fags," On all thins*, cheap or dear; But. for tbe ■acred fove of Mike, Don't put it on tbe beer! There is, I may add, very little prospect of ths tax being put upon the salaries of the statesmen who will finally decide how the wind shall be i&mi3 BDC? : «, , ,»'. .. Mi -.*~ *■ Sis *■■■«• - ' xxxxxxxxx A new phase of the war has been entered upon by the rigorous offensive of the Allies in the Dardanelles and on the eastern and western battlefronts. Within a fortnight we may expect, to hear that Constantinople has fallen and that tbe Turks, are in full flight to their native Asia. It is said that the Moslems have never felt quite at home in Constantinople, They would much rather have Jerusalem as their capital, and they have a prophecy which declares that the ancient city of the Jews will one day be the Moslem seat of Government. As regards Constantinople, tradition alleges that when tha,Turks first entered it they found much wine there, whereupon they declared it was only a sty for swine. That may account for Germany's mad ambition to rule in Stamboul. Over forty years ago Mark Twain wrote in his "New PilSims' Progress": "I wish Europe would t Russia annihilate Turkey a little—not much, but enough to make it difficult to find the place again." It is pleasing to think that this pious wish is now about to be realised. llTllflill Dr. Maximilian Harden, a German editor whose influence is said to be immense, haa recently been expounding the aims. and ambitions of bis countrymen. They wish neither French nor Russian territory—only to plant the flag of Empire (German) on the Strait of Dover. He proceeds: "To the Belgians we are the Arch-imp and the Tenant of the Pool of Hell. We shall retain the Belgian netherland, to which we shall add the thin strip of coast up to the rear of Calais (you Frenchmen have enough better harbours, anyway) — then terminate of our own accord this war." But not before another wish has been gratified—"that which every German heart yearns for—a victory, over England. . . . Lion, leap! On our own young soil we await thee!" Well, the Tenants of the Pool of Hell have had an example of the Lion'a leap in the defeat inflicted on them by H.M.S. Lion at sea. In good time we all hope to see the Lion leap at them on their own soil and finish the work so well begun. The situation in Mexico would be considered very thrilling, were it not so completely cast in the shade by the European war. The villainous Villa appears to be "top dog" at present; but it is possible that President Wilson will decree his "elimination" as he did that of Huerta. The latter villain, by the way, recently hurled the following fiery cable message from his safe retreat in Spain to the "New York Times": "Your honourable paper of Nor. 23 reproduces a cable from the socalled Mexican Constitutionalist representative In Spain that I have offered my fortune and sword to Villa. I want to make known that • the one who originated that statement Is a villainous liar, and I solemnly declare tJiat I can never ihave dealings with CarranEa, the four-flusher; Zapata, the highwayman; nor with Villa, the gaolbird." One wonders what epithets these three rival "generals" would hurl at Huerta, if they ever took leisure from warfare to engage in "civil" intercourse. ********** The newspapers of the world continue I to show that the Great War has got on I the nerves of their staffs. The follow-' ing is from a recent issue of the"Mad-' ras Times":— 1 "We regret to announce the death at 'Kavenswood' yesterday evening ( of Colonel Thomas Richard Byug. I •. . The body was to be interred v in the Tiger Hill Cemetery yeerter- 1 day afternoon. Great sympathy is ' felt for Mrs Byng." Yes, indeed. It muet have been terrible f or her to witness her husband beiner alive!