"P—LUCK."

Auckland Star, Volume XLVI, Issue 60, 11 March 1915, Page 10

"P—LUCK."

(By DRIVER F. HARRIS DEAKS-).

If you happen to have a stutter there is not much difference between luck and p : luck. -By a bit of bad luck I nearly won a V.C. last week. As Browning, the poet—not the pistol—once said, never the place and the hero:and the commanding- officer all together. The hero was there, only the place "happened to be peaceful Hertfordshire, and the staffsergeant saddler the only one who saw the simple act. The -day .started fu« oi promise. Ay •we.left the gun, park at five in the morning, the 'horses took fright crossing a railway bridge, aud the wagon crashed into the parapet, taking a*Vay two bricks and nearly leaving four spare gunners, in their, place. . ... The sub-section commander, ■whose own horse was pirouetting-on one leg, was comparatively genial about it. ".My godfather, why don't you use your ruddy brown eyes?"* was all he said.

I was "too busy with the wheel horses, to tell hip*, that my eyes were really a

I light blue. ' Turning a corner we passed a milk .cart. Just passed it. If it's tail-board [hadn't splintered so easily there would Hiave been an accident.

h We only-liia four team. i~was the wheel driver, and"olJynoaitch (the lead. ,-,

Ollynoaitch, despite his name, is not one of bur Cossack allies. His name is riallv ,Q-ly.;7'a." namo frouglit -with difficulties mr a pure-bred Cockney. People rbf refinement -persist sto". Holly.. ...

It was a linguistic tongue-twisting struggle with our second lieutenant- that made him a naturalised Russian. "Oily," he wailed, after a homeric battle of aspirates, "ine nime's Oily—' Ollynoaitch." _~ ; ... .; "Don't get excitedr- ©eaiiso, *nate ( | he-advises "Ills BboiildeT 'after every particularly narrow? shave, "be ready" to jump, but don't • get ex-j I cited." 7 7-7 : < To describe my-act of herojem, howeverC 'Z77.7* j We had been driving through., a ■slashing rain for four hours when we reached the scene of our manoeuvres. I For.-an hour we waited on the-crest of ■a hill while our battery went into action. "Don't get excited, Deansic. 'chum," said Ollynoaiteh, every, time the guns went off"ana ray:horses reared"with mc swinging on their Wads, "don't let 'etn treat you as if you was a crimson" airyplane. : You don't want to go flying about likea little dicky-bird. You want to keep both feet on the ground when you'ang on to their 'cads. or else you don't get|nogrip.-' The advice. was' excellent. If I bad been made of elastic I might have taken it. -'Being uhstretehable. however, every, time their heads 'went 7up -ndri-jthan: seven feet in tiie...air I did a trampole line. act. ;. ■'....

At last, just as my-arms were getting too long for my gleeves,-wc received the order to advance.

With only four horses in our team, however, we were, left in thc.rear.7by the rest of our sub-section.' Plunging along on -the slippery- grounds-Winded- by the !haii-<>r rain."Oilyno*itc*h took the wroag turning and led our waggon, along * narrow road which Tan along the side lof a hill. i ■ •' ■ '4>on't get exefted," he implored -the j staff-sergeant saddler, who was riding lon our wapon. "Dea'nso, chum, right about turn."

Willi touching confidence in our ability to extricate ourselves from our predicament, our gunners ..hurriedly;-dis-mounted from the wagon. The path was some" four feet wide, and a hill of sodden leaves ran almost sheer - down one side. A perambulator might have . turned in comparative safety, but not a gun wagon writh four horses, handicapped with Ollynoaitch and* myself on their-backs. "■Helen Blazes'.-" 'roared' the ( stiffsergeant, thinking apparently /of * hi* sweetheart, lead-horees-jibbedin making the turrit '. ,*-' ■ - . ~ ' .- The next moment the wagon slithered off the path down-the hill,.dragging.the four horses after at *._.

: It was not for nothing my.god-parents refrained from christening mc Casablanca. As I saw the leadihorses coming, over on top.of mc, I forgot that ..the first duty, of a driver is'to'stick-to "his horses, and made ready to jump. - " This is where the stutter;turns "luck", into; "p-luck." —The buckle, sJeg iron was.,caught in my stirrup,; as frantically as I would T could, not. free myself. ■ '7 7' -7 ■' ■

; "Don't get excited," advised*; OU**--notitch. as he jumped clear,' and-turned-to watch mc play my lone hand.• _--"•;7 Twenty feet down the hill our descent was stopped by a tree. At that moment I got my leg free and' : jumped..-..-: ■ It took ten "horses and tw*enty*"men onithe drag ropes to.get us on the path again. .-.,,,

"My lad," said the staff-sergeant saddler, shaking my hand as I clambered up. on -my- hands and knees, "thejV»*jr7j toyonr none -was tne plucki-; est thing I've ever seen.", ... ._?> Is\ • And, if lie had only been afflicted with \ a:-stammer, it would have been the absolute truth. -