RANDOM SHOTS

Auckland Star, Volume XLVI, Issue 50, 27 February 1915, Page 14

RANDOM SHOTS

BY ZAMIEL

According to decision* in New Zealand and England, it coste anything from £50 to £500 to falsely accuse anyone of being a German. I have no money to burn at present, but all the same I have no hesitation in stigmatising as a German of the most virulent type the person who sends "Mr. Zamuel" an anonymous, type-written letter, containing a sort of catechism of the war, based on the flagrant Potsdam lice that are believed by nobody but Germans. The repetition of these glaring untruths can do neither good nor harm; but the letter is significant, SB showing that there is in our midst one alien enemy, and probably many more, still at large and obsessed by the Gospel of Hate. This lover of Kaieerism betrays a epirit which makes it highly desirable that he should be promptly imprisoned. His letter appears to have ■been poeted in Auckland about 3 a.m. on February, 24th, and it contains no due as. to the identity of the writer. A person who will eneak out at three in the morning to post an abusive and anonymous letter is just the eort who might be expected to wreck a troopship or poison a few hundreds of our BOldiers, if tie could do co with safety to his own skin. Perhaps his skin is not so cafe aa he imagines. There are peculiarities of spelling in his letter that supply a clue, and a slight fault in a type-writing machine has ere now led to the discovery and punishment of criminals. The authorities ought at once to get on the track of this malevolent individual, who is probably all the more dangerous because he is an arrant coward. The "fifteene" appear to be lucky and no-table years in British history, and the fact is fitted 'to encourage the hope that 1915 will tee the end of the present war. The beginning of British liberties dates from Magna Charta, in 1215; and the battle of Agincourt was won in 1415.' It was 1714 that caw the end of the Stuart dynasty and 1715 that found George I. firmly established on his throne after the Scots rebellion. Again, the great victory of Waterloo was won in 1815, just a hundred years ago. It will be a happy coincidence if 1915 should see the downfall of the German Napoleon. The English nswspapers continue to make most amazing blunders, no doubt due to their proof-readers having patriotically gone to the front. The London "Star" the other day, discussing the new kilt proposed for the Highland regiments, declared: "The new type of kilt is likely to cause the maxibub of discomfort." Apparently, it has already given the cold '"id the dose." The Newcastle "Evening Chronicle" recently published the following: "Note.—A kilometre is, roughly, five-fifths of a mile." It is matter for surprise that this item passed the censor, for its accuracy is such that it would doubtless convey valuable information to the enemy. Perhaps the following, from the "South-Western Star," accounts for the unwonted lack of supervision, viz.: "Members of several guilds carried their banners in the procession which went round the church to the accompaniment of impressive music and the swinging of censors." Of course, if the censors were all swung off, the newspapers could publish whatever they pleased. The Germane declare that victory in the present war will rest with the nation that has the strongest nerves, and they, of course, believe that Germany is that nation. Facts do not quite support the latter contention. Certainly Germany's ally, Austria, is not conspicuous for strong nerves, since quite a number of her generals and other officers hfive resigned owing to nervous dieordere. Then, we hear of the Kaiser suffering from extreme irritability, and it is on record j that many of the younger German solj diers lost their reason under fire. Bate is another form of nervous breakdown, j and the men and boys who are now being urged into the field with "hymns of hate" against England will assuredly suffer early collapse. It is a simple and wellrecognised medical fact that "hate" is a disease, that it has a toxic and exhausting effect, upsets the digestion, and poisons the whole sj-etem. Among the evils brought on by cultivating feelings of hatred are suicide and insanity. The better nerves are surely with the cheerful and fatalistic Russian, with his indifference to wounds' and death, or with the British "Tommy," grimly jocular, \vho kecpe up his spirits by shouting, "Are we downhearted ? No!" An advertisement in the "Star" the other day suggests (if I read it aright) an unexpected connection between fowls and bicycles. It had to do with the dale or exchange of a "Lady's bicycle, very little, used for fowls." Perhaps the advertiser meant to say "very little use for fowls." But I cannot coaceive of any self-respecting, fowl wanting to use , a bicycle. ********** What the brave Bavarians think of the Prussians may be gathered from their habit of recalling that Schiller was the most cosmopolitan poet in history, having written a drama for nearly every country of Europe; for England, "Maria Stuart," for France "The Maid of Orleans," for Italy "The Bride of Messina," for Spain "Don Carlos"—and for Prussia "The Eobbers." Also the following colloquy illustrates the Bavarian view of the Kaiser's sanity: Prussian (to Bavarian): "Bah! Your King's mad." Bavarian: "True— but he's locked up at least." I infer that in the one case Otto was locked up; in the other the Kaiser "Otto" be locked up. ********** "A day behind the fa.r" ie the phrase that most aptly describes the position of the Kaiser and his allies of Austria-Hun-gary and Turkey. Good old Franz Joseph hae just made a proposal for a conference with the object of restoring the ancient Kingdom of Poland. The dear old dodderer does not seem to know that the Czar gave a pledge cix months ago to do this very thing. As Shakes-peare-cum-Bret Harte has remarked:— "He is twice armed that hath his quarrel Just. Ana trebly so who gets his blow in fust!" It its the same all along the line with the Kaiser. He is making promisee and courting friendship all round, but finds himself forestalled in every quarter. 1 These "death-bed repentances" are of ! mighty little value.