TALKS TO WOMEN.

Auckland Star, Volume XLV, Issue 152, 27 June 1914, Page 15

TALKS TO WOMEN.

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DOWRIES FOR DAUGHTERS.

(By a Famous Lady Journalist.) The normal woman wants to inarrv. She may, in fact, she very often does, wish to retain her economic independence after marriage. But, if this is impossible, it is seldom indeed that she sacrifices her longing for wifehood and motherhood in order to remain a paid worker. Tt ought to be the happy privilege of all parents to so equip their daughter that she will have more than an ordinarily -good - chance of inarriagc when she comes to womanhood. Frencn parents begin when their child is but a babe to make what provision they can for her future. English people are rather apt to sneer at "marriages of convenience." and to judge of French home life by the cheap French novels that -are written largely for English people, and that do not in the least represent the average French home. We must remember that a custom that suits one race extremely well may not be advisable among other nations. The French system of arranging marriages suits French men and women, and English people who have lived long in France are always ready to speak in admiration of French home life. The women of France make splendid mothers, and the fathers are equally devoted to their children.

But, finest of all. is the united desire of mother and father to make practical sacrifices for their children, so that when they grow up they will be splendidly equipped for the battle of life. As soou as the first child is born to a young French couple a small sum of money is banked weekly or monthly for the child's future. This custom is just as common among peasants and poor artisans as it is amongst members of the easy classes. The mother who shops in the Rue de la Paix makes some sacrifice for her children, and the working-man's wife, who is so very badly oil that meat is a luxury on her tabic, does the same — if it is only a franc monthly. Tc result is that when a young girl reaches tbe age of seventeen or eighteen a certain sum of money has accumulated, and this can be devoted to training her in some profession, or may be given to her as a marriage dowry. If Simonne chooses to earn her own living she can be apprenticed to a trade, or sent to a college, according to her position in life. In that case she will, when proficient, be able to save sufficient money out of lier earnings to provide herself with a small dot, and she will also he capable of earning her own living after marriage if circumstances make it advisable. In France one must remember it is quite ordinary for husband and wife to manage a business together, and hundreds of married women are also engaged as teachers and in big business houses.

\nd if Simonnc wants to marry as soon as possible? Well, if she meets a man of whom her parents approve, a man to whom she is deeply attracted, there is rarely any need to postpone marriage from" financial reasons. Probably the young man cannot atrord to furnish a house unaided, but Simonne's dowry. even if small, will be the greatest help "in tbe world, and so tbe happy couple, go off furniture hunting, and marry very soou after the engagement has been announced. Eugcnists tell us that it is unwise to marry bate in life. Many Englishmen—aud the number is increasing—are obliged to postpone marriage until they are over thirty because they are unable to save sufficient to provide a home for a wife before. The French plan renders such delay unnecessary; French couples marry young, and are thus, in turn, able to give their children a fair start in life. Now, is there any reason why English parents should not be capable of the self-sacrifice and forethought that characterises the French, father and mother? English parents arc limiting the number of their children. But why? Is it to provide themselves with more luxuries, or to give Tommy and Molly a hotter chance in life than would be possible in the case of ti large family? One fears that in very many instances tiie limitation of families springs from isheer selfishness. Happily, however, there are .dill many parents who are ready to do what they can for their boys and girls. What they lack is method.

Supposing your husband earns between one hundred and fifty and two hundred a year, and that you have two children, what do you propose to do lor them? You are too sensible to take it for granted that your boy will win scholarships that will carry him triumphantly through Oxford, and that your daughter will marry a wealthy man as soon as she puts her hair up. If. the moment your child was born, you resolved to bank ten pounds a year for your children's fund, you would have at your disposal £180 wiien your eldest child reached the age of eighteen; more, if your money hud been paid in yearly premiums to an insurance company. For a family of three children—which, so statisticians say. i= the average to-day—there would be sixty pounds for each child. Not a fortune, of course, but such a sum would make marriage possible to many a young couple, it would give a hard-working boy the chance to qualify for some profession, it would be a god-soud to the daughter desirous of earning her own living. In short, sixty pounds might mean to your child the difference between- success and failure in life. Many parents could bank more than ten pounds yearly. But it is better to fix on a certain sum that can bo regularly banked than to resolve to

save a stipulated amount which may mean bigger sacrifices than the parents can reasonably make. And what a mistake to save nothing at all because you can't save much! Even if you can "put away only six pounds yearly it is worth doing. In eighteen years you would have saved over a hundred pounds. And supposing you had four children; well, how glad they would be of a gift of twentyfive pounds each! I am quite sure that English girls would have a better chance of making happy marriages if they could help to provide the little home of which they so fondly dream. The cost of living is. going up so appallingly that many men are afraid to marry, fearing that modern girls are unwilling to risk poverty. 1 don't think the girl who could say. "I'm not afraid of living in a small "house, without a maid, aud I've a little money that will help to furnish a home," need remain unmarried long. And what a pleasure it is for the young wife to feel the house is really hers, hers in the sense that she has helped to buy it. No woman need feel that humiliating sensa- ; 1 ion of being dependent on her husband , for absolutely everything when she can possibly boast, that she bought the dinI i tig room suite, and the kitchen furni[tiire, and the drawing-room carpet!