PERSONAL ANECDOTES.

Auckland Star, Volume XLIV, Issue 183, 2 August 1913, Page 15

PERSONAL ANECDOTES.

-CHAELIK'S AUNT."' Of Mr. Charles M. Schwab the following story is told, says the "Tatler."' Mr. Schwab, who is very fond of farcical comedy, one day asked secretary to get hint two tickets for '"Charlie's Aunt.'" The secretary summoned a page and said, "Go round to the theatre and get two tickets for 'Charlies Aunt.' please."' The page hesitated and said, "But hadn't I better say Mr. Schwab's aunt, sir."

AN AMATEUR FAILURE. Mr Basil Thomson, who has succeeded Sir Melville Maciiaghte.n, has had some amusing experiences during his governorship at Dartmoor, and one of his best stories concerns a certain predecessor, an amateur farmer, who conceived the idea of weaving black cloth direct from the fleece of sheep on the prison farm. But the dyeing industry had not been established at Dartmoor, and he set to work to collect all the black sheep he could find. Unfortunately the wool of a "black sheep" is a hideous rusty brown, and the experiment was a dead failure, the bailiff begging, almost with tears, that he might be allowed to dispose of the sheep, for he was the laughing stock of all the shepherds on Dartmoor. GLADSTONE'S MEMORIES. The things that stick in tbe child's mind are illustrated by Mr Gladstone's memories of the Waterloo time. He remembered going to a great service of public thanksgiving at St. Paul's —the only one he attended until the Prince of Wales' recovery from illness, nearly sixty years later. But the one thing he remembered about it was sitting in a small gallery annexed to the choir, from which he ItKiked down upon the Prince Regent from behind. It was only by calculation that he afterwards concluded that this must have been in 1815. Similarly, adds trie "Chronicle.'' he remembered a year earlier (when he was four years old I the rattling of Ihe windows in the Edinburgh Hotel, where his parents were slaying, when the Castle guns were fired. But it was only the adult Oliidstone who associated that with Napoleon's abdication. SOME STRAI SS STORIES. "Richard Strauss makes nn secret of his passion for the bizarre in orchestral effects. . . . Tearing down the centre aisle of the Royal Opera at Dresden during the general rehearsal of "Eleclra.' that monumental example of musical uproar. Dr. Strauss suddenly commanded a halt in the performance. Mme. S-hu-mnnn-Hrink. Ihe ('lytemnrst m. was in the thrors of a tumultuous aria. Reads of perspiration already bespangled tinbrows of ihe hard-working orchestra. "Louder, louder!' shrieked Strauss, 't can -till heir the singing.'"' When '•Sa ionic" was in rehearsal the tenor who was struggling with the Herod role strayed far from the key. The conductor stopped short to bring the way.ward one back to the score. Strauss interposed. "Don't snip him!' he exclaimed. "Burrian has given just the etTect 1 wanted!'" THI. SOFT ANSWER. Somebody has recalled the fict that the great Disraeli had .1 wonderful capacity for evading questions he did not want to answer. In the House one night a political opponent asked an awkward question which he flattered himself was so framed (hat Disraeli would have to answer with either a plain "Yi~*" or "No." But Disraeli smiled quietly as he rose to reply. "The answer.'' he laid gently, "i----partly in the affirmative antl partly in the negative'" After a iv.omcnt.iry surprise the persistent member asked: "To which parts respectively does the answer reply?"' Again Disraeli smiled. "I rniiot leave that to the innate good Hcvc of the honourable member,'' he said. And the honourable member was just as wise as when he started. EASY MONEY. Those two distinguished journalists, James W. Faulkner, who is by way of being the dean of the profession, along with F.ddie Riggs -and Ned Hamilton, and James .1. Montague, the poel, were discovered out: afternoon during the Bull Moose convention at Chicago busily engaged in spending money. "Whence this sudden and vulgar display of wealth?"' asked l-onis Seibold. "We just made five thousand dollars," eborus.d Faulkner and Montague. "But how'" persisted Seibold. "Why," explained the two Jameses, 'we found an advertisement where an automobile man said he would give five thousand dollars for the best suggestion for the improvement of automobiles: so we sent in a suggestion. And, though the money isn't actually in mind yet, we will get it in a day or'so all right—and we're using a little of it now." 'What was the suggestion?" asked Seibold. "We told the man the best way to make automobiles safer nnd better for all concerned was to take olf the wheels!" REBELLION A VIRTUE. It has been said that the Czar of all the Russias holds that a boy's brain is all the healthier and his will the stronger if he is occasionally stirred to rebellion. The servants in the Winter Palace at St. Petersburg were thrown into panic recently when it was discovered that the little Czarevitch had disappeared. Frantic searches were made in every direction, but no trace was found of seven-year-old Alexis. Tbe Czaritsa. always fearful of Nihilistic attempts, promptly conjured up mental visions of kidnappers. The Czar was less agitated, but none the less anxious as to tbe whereabouts of the heir to the throne. It was a scullery-maid who found him—in a closet, where he had hidden himself with a tray of tarts for company. The boy was conducted to his father, who told him that his mother had been terribly anxious about him. "Why," said Alexis, quite, seriously. 'T only wanted to get out of my French lesson to-day." By the Czar's orders, the boy got no punishment. "My enemies often accuse mc of weakness," he said. "But weakness is merely the condition of mind a man is reduced to when as a child he is not permitted to stir a finger permission. That was my cate." .