"TARIFF REFORM."

Auckland Star, Volume XLIV, Issue 179, 29 July 1913, Page 11

" TARIFF REFORM."

[Vie publish the following skit because of its cleverness and not. ill any way. as 8 serious political contribution.]

Tariff Reiorni i.s a scheme put forward to force the British working classes to purchase British produce, regardless of price and quality, by a party of "Political Patriots'' who dine at a restaurant where the chef is French, the manager Swiss, the waiters and "helps" German, and the orchestra —well, liod only knowe what nationality; here the "Patronise home products patriots'' will stuff upon Continental Hors D'Oeirrres. Russian Caviare. Strasbourg Pate de Foie Gras, Egyptian Ortolans, Foreijm Asparagus, French Champagne, fierman Hock. Italian Red or White Wine, and Mona-stery-inade liqueurs.

Leaving the restaurant they enter their FreEch-chaufi'eured. French-made car and are driven to the opera, where they are entertained by Caruso end Tetrazzini.

Arriring home later, they repair to their Loui XVI. "fumittired" bedroom or enjoy a quiet chat in their wife"s boudoir (Louis XV. style) over a cup of French coffee served by their wife's French maid. During the chat a holiday a-t Monte Carlo or Cairo is proposed.

Hey then visit the cot of their Gentian uiir3ed son. feeing him rather pale (too much chocolate Menier and French pastilles), the wife suggests his visiting a Berlin specialist, and then repairing to Biarritz. The hnsb;uid lights a '•giiaran-Turki?h-m3<ie cisaretie whilst complaining to hi? wife of the absolute s?l----fishuess of the working classes, who will not "patronise home industries." She rings for her French maid, orders eau-de-Cologne, and picking up the latest French norel retires to rest.—\V. H. Moore in •"John 8a11. ,,