FROM THE MAGAZINES

Auckland Star, Volume XLIV, Issue 28, 1 February 1913, Page 14

FROM THE MAGAZINES

CAUSTIC CADDIE. I The caddie's chastening influence ..I the conceit of players has numbed-. | anecdotal examples. One of the best* f these is the following:— _| '"What sort of game does Jfr J"o»-_S "He carina play nane." ; "I'm going out with him to-morm- B I suppose I shall beat him." 'P "Na, ye will not."—"Windsor __u_P zinc." t 1 " f "HOWLERS." In our garden, pansies, vOere, and cob. S vulsions grow. ; RichaTd I. was called the lion-'eartei I because 'is 'cart was the same eh.pe m a lion's. ™ My favourite animal is the cow because when it dies it can supply t_ wjtJi both beef and mutton. After asking, 'What is a brarea «r----pent?" and waiting for some time before any reply was forthcoming, a Scripttrre Examiner was petrified by the answer "Please, sir, it's one wot cheeka yer"-! School "Howlers" from "The Until Leaf." : --, ~TI COLONEL'S HOBBY ' -; :. . I The eccentricities of a certain eolohel 1 of a native infantry regiment; who w_s 1 what is rudely termed "a great'bnir W. I ter," would afford material for '___» I good stories. On parade Colonel S. was accompanied 1 by two boy orderlies, each of themhbld- 1 ing a butterfly net. They had also ineti- 1 men boxes in their haversacks. - As the manoeuvres progressed the old man had one eye on the regimentand the other searching the horizon for lepidoptera. Suddenly the word of command, "Halt! —order arms! —stand at ease!" was given. The two darkiea'wete then seen scuttling across the'-taidan (plain) until the bug was secured anil duly pinned in the epeci-ien boi Tke regiment was then called to atteitioi, and the usual manoeuvres continued «* til another flying insect appeared-' *_« the same temporary stoppage oeearreiL The regiment generally took t y_tt interest in the evolutions of the orderlies, and a muffled murmur of apphnat sounding like "Shabaßh!" (Bravo!) trm when a brilliant capture was nude ot either of the 'boys. That poor old man, in order fp'eetjire a certain moth, slept for two njg_ts i the Elepbanta eaves, and, owing to fere contracted during the vigil, nwt i_j death.—"Vanity Fair." fl-I HUNG CHANG AND WPtTS. Li Hung Chang's diary in the.'Siia:ver" recently concerns New York __,_ favourite subject of his, ladies. Here are a f«r «xtra«_»:— A in Nev 2brk wanted to know Rott many wives I had, a_»,cftff I told him I had as many as I serine was impertinent enough to ask .at how many I needed. The q__jtion,did not please mc, bnt I did not let bin know it, for that would hare.been* satisfaction to him which r.did not w_i to give. "lAnd" so I asked: „"How maif wives have you?" He answered quickly: "None." "Good," I said, "you look as if yon might be able to take care of jnsOhafc number." iWhen Mr Cleveland and myself talked about wires and women.in America and China it -was different. The President was seeking enlightenment, and so was I. He laughed heartily when I told-im that if he were President of .China.he -would have, as he has here, but one wife in full legal status, but that __do-bt__r he would also possess a secondary wife in each province, or perhaps more.?" "No, no," he said, the tie_i_ of l_ng_ter running down his cheek-. "But tome to think of it," he continued, "it takes a man capable of managing sixteen or eighteen Chinese women to govern ac American girl." MYSTERY OF. MURAT'S GOLD WAJCB BAFFLING ROMANCE. This story has been discovered ia» back number of a Russian proTine-. paper, iv the obituary of a. ColoiTcheraozonboff. . •■_ '=■" Among the colonel's effects had _JSS found a gold watch, on the case of wiat was the inscription: "Heonore a J*' chim, Ne m'oublie pas!" And ttenftf hung a tale of the great war. .-. In 1812 the colonel was a simple Cosj sack, in a regiment engaged in _anjn{ . the French retreat; while Mnrat «• King of Naples, and in comma-d of t-j French cavalry. It was on the eft » I Borodino; and Murat, galloping abed . of his squadron, was cut off and ant- ■ rounded The range was short, and tw . Cossack- were about to fire, when Tel-* nozonboff intervened. "Present arms. he cried chivalrously. "Hurrah for M ' King of the Brave!" . ,-, .£ Murat had time to put his spurs to no horse, and ride away. As he did so M : took off his gold watch, and gave it as a i souvenir to the Cossack who had sayea I him. Platoff, the Hetman of the V?* ■ sacks, admiring TchernozoubotTs « . [ airy, gave him his eom2^sion V^ n w as him his ade-de-camp. The watctt thereafter treasured as an heirtooffl m the Tchernozouboff family, . received an offer of no less than aw" roubles for it. .j It curiously happens that i watch is in existence, bearing ** K ~7°£ t i identical inscription, but fixing tne i of the gift by describing Murat as u*r 1 tain of Chasseurs. v M That was Murat's rank in uSi, W" . Bonaparte sent him from Italy to - 1 zerland, to select headquarters » r -.TJ " and thence to Paris with the text « ; treaty of Campo Formio. Be am 1 go alone, but took with him *MJgg ' ful Countess Gerardi, whom « MB ! at Brescia, and who had left her o» ' and her husband to atcompaay «"«* ' husband followed, and made "prw*^ ' tions to the Directoire; and the of 1797 appears to have changea »-* ' as a peace offering on that o«^'° n^ ,' gift of a previous mistress, _wk» ; Murat sought to pacify the m_rtre» 1 whom he now had to part. ____. in : But, if Murat gave away thejW■ 1797, how could he have it in b»E* iv 1812? That is a mystery, <» . the most probable solution is uuw » , regretting that he had parted « ™ g f souvenir, caused a duplicate 0l " _j i made in order to keep a sew" . memory alive. - - {% . But Eleonore was not the I Gerardi. She belonged to an - period of Murat's sentimental msw . and the establishment of her identitf : a task in which Murat's biograpnerso- ' so far, engaged without succesfc