WITNESSES' HUMOUR,

Auckland Star, Volume XLIII, Issue 205, 27 August 1912, Page 4

WITNESSES' HUMOUR,

LEVITY AT THE STOBBItE COTTRT. i —— SOME EXPRESSIVE LANGUAGE. A garrulous old-age pensioner was tt. cause of a good deal of levity a t stage of the proceedings at the criinjsj sessions of the Supreme Court tb-dajr "Well, what have you to tell us abont this affair?" asked his Honor, afler wS ness had been sworn. Pointing his finger at the judge's diaH the witness caused a mild iensation br remarking in a loud tone: K You'v e -jj it all in black and white there, -j° don't want my evidence, ,, "* At another stage the prisoner, wjtv decided emphasis alleged that one'of th parties concerned in the case had at tempted to " empty them all out bf ih» d house." (Laughter.) His Honor: You forget you are in Court of Justice. You must not use that language here. Witness (apologetically): I never u« bad language. Hon. J. A. Tole (to vritinte): \V4j there any gas in the houset Witness: No, sir; When Pm in the house I'm the only gaspipe. (Langh^fj Mr. Tole then asked witness if he Ha 4 made a certain statement to the police. Witness: The police are not epeakin» the truth. I am speaking the trutfi, af God forgive mc if I am not. (liushter.) Mr. Tole: I think you require fqrgiyi. ness if you make an allegation of that kind. You soy the police don't tell tie truth at all. ' Witness: Sometimes, by acCideiit (Laughter.) A moment afterwards Mr. Tole, holj. ing up a gin bottle, which was one of the exhibits in the case, and which haj i hole in it, asked witness if he generally drank through a hole in a bottle br through the neck. Witness: Knock the top off and can drink anywhere you like. (Jfotj laughter.) Another witness added his coniribntioij of lighter vein by remarking: "We wen both pretty ' swanked' at the time."