PERSONAL ANECDOTES.

Auckland Star, Volume XLII, Issue 191, 12 August 1911, Page 15

PERSONAL ANECDOTES.

REAL IMPRESSIVE. Apropos the Queen's reported decision not to ride in the howdah of an elephant at 'the forthcoming Durbar, an anecdote is told of the Prince of Wales. When his father, it is said, was about to ride forth to King Edward's Coronation, little "Edward of Wales," as he wa» then, was greatly chagrined to discover that the riding was to be done on a horse. "What did you expect me to go on?" asked his father, and the young Prince answered, "Well, I thought you would have had an elephant for a day like this!" MAKE IT THIRTY-FIVE. William Furst, the composer and orchestra leader at the Empire Theatre, New York, is in the habit of having his own way. He is, however, no match for Mr Charles Frohman. Several years ago he was working with Mr Frohman over a new production at the Empire Theatre. "That's too Billy," Mr Frohman remarked at a certain stage rehearsal. "I can't help it, governor," replied Furst, "it's forte." "Well," observed Mr Frohman imperturbably, "make it thirty-five." IN HIS FATHER'S SUIT. In one of the provincial appeal courts in France, a boy, about 14, was summoned to give evidence, and his appearance was such as to move the whole court to laughter. He was small even for his age. He wore a long redingote, peculiar to the Basque country, and immense boots. His trousers, collar, and hat were »n----questionably those of a man. The Court was convulsed, and the president asked the boy how he dared to treat the Court in such a manner. The boy seemed as surprised as the president, and taking out the citation from his pocket, read the formula inviting him, "Comparaitre dans les affaires de son pere." (To appear in his father's suit.)

BEASTLY FORMAL. During a portion of the South African war, Lord Kitchener had as an orderly a young scion of a noble house who had joined the Imperial Yeomanry as a trooper. He could not quite understand that he was not on terms of perfect equality with the members of the staff, and having been summoned one morning to carry some dispatches for the commander-in-chief, he entered the room with a jaunty air. "Did you want me, Kitchener?" he asked calmly, while the rest of the staff gasped for fear of what would happen next. Kitchener merely looked at him with a quiet smile. "Oh, don't call me Kitchener," he remarked gently, "it's so beastly format, call me Herbert!" THE BRAVEST DEED LORD ROBERTS HAS SEEN. The Duke of Connaught, Lord Roberts, Lord Derby, and the Bishop of Hereford were among the large company which assembled on the occasion of "Speech Day" at Wellington College (Eng.), some weeks ago. In handing has prize to the winner Lord Roberts said he had been asked what waa the bravest deed he had ever seen. He remembered that while he was on his way to Lucknow his force was stopped by a walled enclosure. A little soldier, "a Punjabi Mohammedan, seeing the difficulty, endeavoured to open the door which barred their way. When he inserted his hand and tried first to draw the bolt it was cut off by one of the enemy. Without hesitation he thrust in has other hand and managed to unfasten the bolt.

The second hand was subsequently nearly severed from the wrist. GOT TO FKJHTTNG. Bishop Woodbridge, of Kentucky, was discussing the Southern mountaineers, among whom he had lived and worked for many years. The question of family feuds was brought up, and the Bishop related the following anecdote: A certain family 'had attended a reunion, which terminated in a free-for-all fight. The offenders were taken before the local justice of the peace, who questioned an old woman as to the particulars of the fight. Her description was typical of the mountaineer's attitude toward strife and bloodshed. " 'Well, judge,' she said, '.Jem Lewis got into an argument with Hank Budd. Budd smashed Jem over the head with a stick of cordwood, bursting bis head open. Then Jem's brother slashed Hank up with a butcher's knife, and Lou Barry shot him through the 'eg. Larry Stover went at Lou with an axe, and then, judge, we just naturally got to fighting.' " AND STILL, SOME A^ACANCEES. George W. Perkins, who has withdrawn from the banking-house of J. P. Alongan and Co. to devote himself to the great public questions of the day, said at a recent dinner in New York: "Ours is a country of phenomenal prosperity. There is no such prosperity any;where else on earth. Here we have for all." Mr. Perkins smiled. '"ln fact," he said, "we have such » scarcity of labour here that the Western ; farmer was hardly joking when he inserted in the newspapers this 'want ad.':— " 'Wanted—Harvest hands. Hired girl blonde and pleasant. Phonograph music during meals. Pie three times a day. Six lumps of sugar to ea'ch cup of coffee. Hammocks, leather divans, cosy corners, feather-beds. Rising hour, 10 a.m. Organ concert every evening. Free chewing and smoking. Come one, come all.' '*

THE BISHOP'S MOVE. Bishop Talbot, the giant "cowboy bishop," was once attending a meeting of church dignitaries, and one of the clergy. men, who had been urged by a tramp to give him some money, sent the fellow to the bishop. "He is a very generous man," said the clergyman, "and he might help you." The tramp approached Bishop Talbot confidently. The others watched . with interest. They saw a look of surpriso come over the tramp's face. The bishop was talking eagerly. The tramp looked troubled. And then, finally, they saw something pass from one hand to the other. The tramp tried to slink past the group without speaking, but one of them called to him:— "Well, did you get something from our brother?" { „ The tramp grinned sheepishly. "No, he admitted, "I gave him a dollar for his new cathedral at laramie!" I