PERSONAL ANECDOTES.

Auckland Star, Volume XLII, Issue 137, 10 June 1911, Page 16

PERSONAL ANECDOTES.

NOT IMPOSSIBLE. This story of McKinley relates to the time when he was a practising advocate at Canton. "You cannot tell mc that two blacks make a white, Mr McKinley." said a judge to whom he was pleading for mitigation of sentence on a prisoner. "They may sometimes," was the reply. "Indeed! How so?" "A pair of black Spanish fowls may be the parents of a white egg." ONE HE KNEW OF. The late Senator Elkins used to tell a story of Rige Brown. Bige, he explained, lived in Elkins. Meeting him one day in the main street, the Senator said : "Bige, do you know of anybody that's got a horse for sale?" Bige. chewing gum, gave the Senator a patronising smile. "Well, Senator." he said. "I guess Bill Hurst has. I sold him one yesterday." 'THIS IS FAME." Mr G. R. Sims tells in the London "Referee" a new Hawkins story 'he heard recently. The eminent judge one evening, after the conclusion of a murder trial, was walking along Coventry-street with a friend. A small newsboy rushed up with an evening paper. "Here .'ou are. sir. Death sentence at the Old Bailey. 'Encry 'Awkins at it again!" "All!" exclaimed the Judge, turning to his friend, "this is fame." STILL ALEVE. The subtle humour of the late Mr. Justice Day was never better appreciated than when a medical specialist sued a gentleman for his bill for attending his wife. The case was undefended, and the doctor had to prove that his charges —170 guineas—were correct. "How many times did you see this lady sir?" asked Sir John Day. "One hundred and seventy times, my lord," was the reply. "Is she alive?" was the next question. "Oh, yes, my lord," answered the doctor. "Dear mc, you astonish mc," retorted the judge. AMERICAN TITLES. William Jennings Bryan once joked about the American fondness for titles. "You all know of the colonel," he said, "who got his tite by inheritance, having married Colonel Brown's widow? But I once met a general who got his title neither by inheritance nor by service, nor by anything you could mention. " 'General.' I said to him, 'how do you come by this title of yours, anyway?' " 'Why. sir,' said he, T passed my youth in the flour trade, and for twentyseven years was a general miller.' "I know another titled man—Judge Green. " 'Are you, sir.' T once asked him, 'a United states Judge or a circuit court Judge?' "T ain't neither,* he replied. Tm a judge of hoss-racin'.'" GENERAL BOOTH'S MONUMENT. General Booth, speaking at a Salvation Army demonstration et Tottenham, said he had been called a selfish adventurer, piling up a fortune out of the army, but during the forty-six years of the Army's existence he had never had a shilling from its coffers. People who had complained that the Army issued no balance-sheet did not mention that its accounts had been under the direct ehargo of leading City accountants. Speaking of the Army's propensity for 'begging, the General said he gloried in the fact, and was proud of being perhaps the biggest beggar known. If when his bones were buried they wanted to put a monument over them, he would Hke to suggest that they should erect a colossal collecting-box, and then people, instead of dropping a tear over him. might drop a sovereign or a dollar in the box. A JUDGE AND PERNOCATION. An amusing story comes from Dublin. During the hearing of the case of the King against the County Court Judges and Justices of Cork, which involves a question as to the description of premises required in a notice under the Licensing Acts, counsel quoted an English judge as laying stress on the "place of pern oca tion." Lord Chief Justice O'Brien: That is a gTeat word, I must say. 1 never knew that there was such a word. Mr Justice Wright: Oh, yes; there is. Lord O'Brien: I ask my brother Madden, who is the great authority on English, has he ever heard of it, Mr Justice Madden: No. Lord O'Brien: I have grave doubts about it when my brother Madden has not heard it. Mr Justice Madden, having reinforced himself with and consulted a ponderous dictionary, said: "Yes; here it is. It means 'passing the night,' and—this accounts for our brother Wright's knowledge of it—is a ward specially in ec- ' clesiastical use. meaning spending the night in prayed." (Loud laughter.) Mr Justice Wright, smiling modestly, rejoined: I am much obliged to niy brother Madden.

STRONG TEA. Alderman Ldward While, the new Chairman of the London County Council, is an admirable man for the post, for he is not only troroughly well a.s quainted with municipal life in his country, but he ha,s also learned a great deal through extensive travel in other countries. lie tells an amusing story of an experience in America. On board the train one day he called the waiter and ordered a bottle of wine. The waiter said -he was sorry, but as (lie train was just then travelling through a "prohibition" State, he was unable to serve the passengers with anything but temperance refreshments. Mr White protested, but the waiter was firm. "Have you got a teapot?" Mr White asked. "Yes. sir." replied the waiter. Mr White saw a way out of the difficulty. "Very well, then, pour a bottle of wine into the teapj-: and bring it to mc." In due course the waiter appeared bearing a tray on which were a teapot, a cup and saucer, milk, sugar and hot water. "Well," remarked Mr White, as he gaily poured out a cupful of the best Californian wine from a temperance teapot, "I suppose I mu3t be content with tea, after all." But he took it without milt- at sugar!